Have you ever felt unheard in your relationship - even when you’re trying so hard to communicate clearly?
Do arguments escalate quickly, leaving you wondering why your partner (or your child) just doesn’t seem to get it?

You’re both in the same conversation.
You’re both in the same room.
But you didn’t come through the same door.

In this episode of The Parenting Lab, I’m sharing one of the most practical relationship frameworks I use with clients: Head, Heart, and Hands.

Every relationship operates through three foundational channels:

• The Head (logic, understanding, perspective)

• The Heart (emotion, attachment, connection)

• The Hands (action, follow-through, repair)

Most conflict doesn’t happen because we don’t love each other.
It happens because we’re entering the moment through different doors.

We’ll talk about:

• Why problem-solving can feel invalidating

• Why emotional reactions escalate conflict

• How attachment patterns shape your default response

• What happens when thinking, feeling, and action aren’t aligned

• Practical ways to improve communication in marriage and parenting

This episode blends the science of attachment and nervous system regulation with the art of communication and connection - so you can stop fighting the wrong battle and start building trust instead.

If you’ve ever thought, “Why do we keep having the same fight?” - this framework will change how you see conflict, connection, and the people you love most.

♥ Your Parent Coach, Brittney

Find Lab 6 HERE - Wired: Making Behavior Make Sense

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For free resources, online courses, or to join the mailing list, please visit ⁠theparentinglab.org⁠

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Email Brittney: ⁠theparentinglab101@gmail.com

You’re speaking their love language.So why isn't it working?

If you’ve read the books, taken the quizzes, and tried to love your partner or child “the right way” - but something still feels off - this episode is for you.

In this thought-provoking conversation, we take a deeper look at one of the most popular relationship frameworks in pop psychology - The 5 Love Languages - and explore why speaking your partner’s or child’s love language might not be enough to create real emotional security.

With Valentine’s Day around the corner and love language quizzes everywhere, it’s the perfect time to ask a harder question: What actually makes love feel safe?

We’re diving into the powerful difference between love languages and attachment theory, especially in parenting and long-term relationships. You’ll learn why you can “get the behaviors right” - acts of service, physical touch, quality time, gifts, words of affirmation - and still feel disconnected. Because while love languages focus on what we do, attachment shapes how safe we feel.

In this episode, we explore:

• The hidden limits of the 5 Love Languages framework

• How attachment styles impact marriage and parenting

• Why emotional safety matters more than grand gestures

• The role of nervous system regulation in secure relationships

• How unresolved childhood patterns shape how we give and receive love

• What kids are really learning about love by watching your relationship

• Three practical anchors that build secure attachment at home

If you’re interested in attachment parenting, emotionally healthy relationships, nervous system regulation, breaking generational patterns, or building deeper connection in marriage, this conversation will challenge and encourage you.

Because secure attachment isn’t built in the highlight reel.
It’s built in the hard moments - through responsiveness, repair, and regulation.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing “all the right things” but something still feels off, this episode will help you understand why — and what actually grows roots that last.

🎙️ Let’s go deeper than love languages.

♥ Your Parent Coach, Brittney

Join The Parenting Lab ⁠Facebook Group⁠!

For free resources, online courses, or to join the mailing list, please visit ⁠theparentinglab.org⁠

Follow on Instagram / TikTok / YouTube ⁠@TheParentingLabPodcast⁠

Email Brittney: ⁠theparentinglab101@gmail.com

Have you ever felt closest to someone during conflict, crisis, or emotional intensity - and strangely disconnected when things finally calm down?
This episode explores trauma bonding through a nervous-system lens, looking at why stress, urgency, and emotional activation can feel like intimacy - and why peace can sometimes feel empty or unsettling instead of safe.

Trauma bonding is what happens when connection forms under chronic stress. When closeness only shows up during hard moments, the body learns that pain, unpredictability, or emotional intensity equals love. Over time, calm can start to feel unfamiliar - or even threatening.

In this episode, we unpack:
• What trauma bonding really is (and what it isn’t)• How stress-based connection forms in families, friendships, and romantic relationships• The difference between secure attachment, enmeshment, and trauma bonding• Why calm can feel boring, empty, or disconnecting after years of intensity• How these patterns are passed down across generations• Why so many adults are creating distance from family - and what’s actually happening underneath• How to heal trauma bonds without cutting people off or abandoning relationships

We also explore how trauma bonding shows up in parenting - especially with adult children - and why being needed can quietly become part of identity. If pain has been how love was proven, healing can feel like loss, even when it isn’t.

This episode isn’t about blame or labels. It’s about awareness, nervous system regulation, and learning how to stay connected without pain being the glue. Healing doesn’t mean losing depth or passion - it means redefining intimacy so it no longer costs your peace.

If you’re navigating complicated family dynamics, intense relationships, or the discomfort that can come with emotional calm, this conversation will help you understand what your body learned about connection - and how to gently update it.

♥ Your Parent Coach, Brittney

Download Lab Five: Regulation & The Nervous System

Join The Parenting Lab ⁠Facebook Group⁠!

For free resources, online courses, or to join the mailing list, please visit ⁠theparentinglab.org⁠

Follow on Instagram / TikTok / YouTube ⁠@TheParentingLabPodcast⁠

Email Brittney: ⁠theparentinglab101@gmail.com