You're not unmotivated. You're depleted. This episode explains why your physical, mental, emotional, and relational capacity matters more than willpower—and what happens when you ignore it.

January doesn't give you a new nervous system. The stress, guilt, and overwhelm from December? It all walks into January with you. This episode breaks down why resolutions fail—and what actually works when you're already running on empty.

The calendar flips, but your life doesn't reset.

That stress you carried in December? The habits you tried to change? The grief, the guilt, the pressure, the debt, the health stuff, the family stuff? It all walks right into January with you. And when you stack ambitious goals on top of an already maxed-out life, you don't get transformation. You get burnout, shame, and another "I guess I just can't stick with anything" story.

In this episode, Jonathan Collier and Dr. Mark Mayfield break down why traditional New Year's resolutions set people up for failure—and what actually helps if you want real, sustainable change.

This one is for the person who's tired of starting over every January.

In This Episode:

• Why your body and nervous system don't reset on January 1
• The goal-setting "industrial complex" and how marketing exploits your desire to change
• Capacity: why you can't add to your plate without subtracting something first
• The "should" voice, shame, and why motivation is rarely the real problem
• Dopamine, shiny object syndrome, and what happens when the initial excitement fades
• "Procrastination by education"—why more tools and courses don't equal more change
• A practical method: work backward from the goal, define YOUR version of success, and take one realistic step this week
• Neuroplasticity and how habits actually form through small, repeated action

Key Moments:

[03:15] Why Hallmark movies ruined our expectations (and a perfect plot breakdown)

[06:30] "It's like saying I'm $150,000 in debt, but I'm going to invest in Bitcoin this year"

[11:00] The lie we believe about motivation and discipline

[17:08] What happens to your nervous system when you expect a "reset"

[24:28] Dopamine, shiny object syndrome, and why the excitement fades

[30:22] "Procrastination by education" explained

[33:23] We approach goal setting like building a house—but we haven't cleared the lot

[36:00] Mark's practical method: work backward from 360 days

[42:03] Neuroplasticity: the trail-blazing analogy for building new habits

[48:25] Permission to make healing your only goal this year

Resources Mentioned:

• Capacity audit worksheet (download at mentalhealthmadesimple.life)
• Next week's episode: "Motivation Isn't the Problem. Capacity Is."

Important Note

This podcast is educational content and is not a replacement for professional counseling, therapy, or medical care. If you're experiencing a mental health crisis or have immediate safety concerns, please reach out to a licensed professional or crisis service.

Avoiding difficult conversations doesn’t make problems disappear. It usually makes them louder, messier, and harder to fix later.

In this episode of Mental Health Made Simple, Jonathan and Dr. Mark Mayfield break down how to have difficult conversations without creating unnecessary conflict, why avoidance compounds relational damage, and how to approach hard conversations with honesty, curiosity, and care.

This is not about being “nice,” walking on eggshells, or blowing things up. It’s about learning how to enter challenging conversations in a way that lowers defensiveness, builds clarity, and protects the relationship on the other side.

We talk about why pain demands to be dealt with, how small unresolved issues quietly build into major breakdowns, and why confrontation doesn’t have to mean conflict. You’ll also learn a simple, practical tool you can use immediately: soft startups — clear, respectful ways to begin hard conversations without triggering shutdown or escalation.

This episode is conversational, practical, and grounded in real-life relationships, not theory.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

• How to have difficult conversations without creating conflict
• Why avoiding hard conversations makes them worse over time
• The difference between confrontation and conflict
• Why curiosity is more effective than accusation
• How your energy enters a conversation before your words do
• Why “being honoring” is not the same as being passive or overly nice
• How to approach feedback without triggering defensiveness
• Why your role is to bring clarity, not fix people
• How intent and impact both matter in communication

Difficult conversations are not the problem. Avoidance is.

When handled with curiosity, honesty, and care, hard conversations can actually strengthen trust, deepen relationships, and prevent long-term emotional damage.

Soft startups are respectful ways to begin difficult conversations without escalating emotions or triggering defensiveness.

5 Soft Startups You Can Use Right Now

1. “I want to talk about something that’s been on my mind. Is now a good time?”
2. “I might be off, but can I check something with you?”
3. “I’m bringing this up because I respect you and think it matters.”
4. “Can we try something different going forward?”
5. “I think I messed up, and I’d like to talk about it.”

Key Takeaways

• Confrontation doesn’t have to be conflict
• Curiosity lowers emotional temperature faster than control
• Difficult conversations are meant to bring clarity, not instant solutions
• You can’t control impact, but you can control intent and posture
• Speaking up without staying present afterward isn’t care — it’s abandonment
• Being a guide is more effective than being a fixer

Who This Episode Is For

• Anyone who avoids hard conversations until things explode
• Leaders, partners, parents, and friends who want healthier communication
• People who want to give feedback without damaging relationships
• Anyone who wants practical tools instead of vague advice

Important Note

This podcast is educational and is not a replacement for professional counseling or mental health care. If you are dealing with life-safety concerns or immediate emotional distress, please reach out for professional help.

If you are in the U.S. and need immediate support:
Call or text 988 — Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (Available 24/7)

This episode explores how to have difficult conversations, communication skills, emotional intelligence, conflict resolution, giving feedback, relational health, and practical tools for navigating hard conversations in relationships, families, workplaces, and leadership contexts.

If someone came to mind while listening to this episode, don’t ignore it. Download the soft startups guide and take one small step toward the conversation you’ve been avoiding.

Subscribe, rate, and review the show wherever you listen, and visit mentalhealthmadesimple.life for more practical tools to support your mental and emotional health.

When someone says, "I'm dealing with anxiety," most people freeze.

You want to support them. You don't want to say the wrong thing. And before you know it, you're either trying to fix it, minimize it, or change the subject entirely.

In this episode, Jonathan and Dr. Mark Mayfield unpack why anxiety feels so uncomfortable to talk about, why it seems to be everywhere right now, and why most of our go-to responses actually make things worse. They break down what anxiety is (and what it isn't), why those quick online tests get misread, and what actually helps when someone trusts you enough to open up.

This isn't a clinical deep dive. It's a practical conversation about how to respond to anxiety well—without turning it into a project to solve.

What We're Actually Talking About

• Why mental health labels feel more visible right now—and why that's complicated

• How "anxiety" has become shorthand for a lot of different experiences
• Why naming anxiety tends to suck the air out of a room
• The difference between being informed and self-diagnosing
• Why most people jump to fixing instead of just listening

Why Do People Get This Wrong?

Most people feel pressure to do something when anxiety gets named.

We think we need the right answer. We need to make it better. We need to offer advice or a solution.

But anxiety is usually tied to uncertainty, lack of control, or something that can't be resolved in the moment. When we rush to fix it, we add pressure instead of relieving it.

What Actually Helps When Someone Shares Their Anxiety

You don't need clinical language or perfect insight.

Simple responses go further than you'd think:

• "Thank you for trusting me with that."
• "That sounds hard."
• "Help me understand what that looks like for you."

Then stop talking.

Creating safety, staying curious, and resisting the urge to fix does more than most advice ever will.

A Note on Sharing Anxiety

If you're the one naming anxiety, clarity helps.

It's okay to say:

• "I don't need you to fix anything."
• "I just want you to know where I'm at."

That removes pressure from the other person and keeps the conversation grounded.

Not everyone gets the same level of access to your inner world, and that's not unhealthy—it's wise.

What Is Anxiety, Simply Put?

Clinically, anxiety is complex and long-term. But in everyday life, it often shows up when someone is trying to get certainty about something they can't control yet.

That's not weakness. That's a nervous system doing its job—just too loudly or too often.

Understanding that distinction matters, especially when we're having these conversations with each other.

Resources Mentioned

• Managing Leadership Anxiety by Steve Cuss
• Path to Wholeness by Dr. Mark Mayfield

Learn More

• Understanding Anxiety Disorders — National Institute of Mental Health: https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/anxiety-disorders
• How to Help Someone with Anxiety — Mental Health First Aid: https://www.mentalhealthfirstaid.org/2019/04/how-to-help-someone-with-anxiety/

Closing Thought

You don't have to say the perfect thing. You don't have to fix anything.

Most people just need someone who can sit with them—without turning their anxiety into a problem to solve.

That's how people feel seen, heard, and known. Without making things heavier than they already are.

Disclaimer

Mental Health Made Simple is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional counseling, diagnosis, or treatment. Listening to this podcast does not create a counselor-client relationship. If anxiety is persistent, overwhelming, or disruptive, consider speaking with a licensed mental health professional. If you are in immediate danger, contact your local emergency number.

We're told the holidays are supposed to feel joyful. Warm. Meaningful. What do you if they just suck?

In this episode, Jonathan and Dr. Mark Mayfield talk honestly about why Christmas can be one of the hardest times of the year for mental health.

From family dynamics and grief to social pressure, financial stress, and emotional overload, this conversation names what many people quietly experience but rarely say out loud.

This episode may feel uncomfortable at times, but it’s worth sitting with. Whether you love Christmas, struggle through it, or feel somewhere in between, this conversation offers permission, perspective, and practical ways to get through the season without pretending you’re okay when you’re not.

What We Talk About in This Episode

• Why the holidays intensify stress, grief, and emotional fatigue
• The pressure to feel happy and why it often backfires
• How family dynamics resurface old roles and expectations
• Why “just set boundaries” isn’t always helpful advice
• Sensory overload, decision fatigue, and emotional labor during the holidays
• Practical boundaries that actually work in real-life family settings
• How to respond to uncomfortable questions without overexplaining
• Giving yourself permission to feel what you actually feel
• Why “okay” is sometimes the healthiest place to land
• Simple ways to recover emotionally after holiday gatherings

Key Takeaway

• You are allowed to experience the holidays honestly.
• You don’t have to feel great to be okay.
• And you don’t have to get through everything at once, just one thing at a time.

Resources & Next Steps

• Reflect on one non-negotiable you can name this holiday season
• Plan your exit before gatherings begin
• Schedule recovery time after high-demand events
• Share this episode with someone

Important Disclaimer

This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, counseling, or medical advice.
Dr. Mark Mayfield is a licensed clinician, but this podcast does not establish a therapeutic relationship. If you are in crisis or need professional support, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional or contact local emergency services.

If you’d like help finding a therapist, you can reach out to us and we’ll help point you in the right direction.

Too many of us wake up, grab a screen, and never really put it down. Then we wonder why we feel anxious, fried, or disconnected from the people right in front of us.

In this episode, Jonathan and Dr. Mark break down the link between screen time and mental health, for adults, teens, and kids, and offer simple ways to build healthier tech habits without pretending phones don’t exist.

You’ll hear us talk about:

• How constant screen time affects stress, sleep, and emotional regulation
• Why kids’ and teens’ brains are especially vulnerable to phone and social media overuse
• What “dopamine hits” and notifications actually do to our nervous system over time
• How multitasking and “doom scrolling” quietly drain creativity and increase burnout
• Practical ideas for screen-free zones, tech boundaries at home, and “90s weeks”
• How to take an honest inventory of your own screen use and make small, realistic changes

We’re not here to demonize phones or shame anyone. Screens are part of life. The goal is to understand how they’re shaping our mental health, and what you can do to move the needle even 10% in a better direction between now and January 1.

Helpful Resources

We’ll include research and a few simple tools in the show notes to help you:

• Reflect on your current tech habits

• Set age-appropriate guidelines for kids and teens

• Experiment with “analog” practices that give your brain a real rest

If you find this conversation helpful, share it with a friend, leave a rating and review, and subscribe so you don’t miss future episodes.

Every share helps us simplify mental health for more people who need it.

This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health care, diagnosis, or treatment. Dr. Mark Mayfield is a licensed clinician, but this podcast does not provide therapy. If you are struggling with your mental health, please reach out to a qualified mental health professional in your area. If you need help, and don't know where to turn to find suitable care, reach out. We can help point you in the right direction.
If you are in crisis or considering self-harm, contact your local emergency number or crisis hotline immediately. You’re not alone, and support is available.

Men are struggling silently — and most people have no idea how deep it runs.

In this episode, Jonathan and Dr. Mark Mayfield have one of the most honest conversations we’ve ever released.

They break down why so many men feel pressure to “stay strong,” how that leads to emotional constipation, and why opening up feels risky even when life is on the line.

They also share parts of their own stories, including their suicide attempts, the moments that pushed them to rock bottom, and what it took to rebuild.

This episode may feel uncomfortable at times, but it’s worth sitting with. Whether you’re a man or someone who loves one, this conversation is for you.

You’ll walk away with practical tools, powerful questions, and a clearer understanding of how men can move from silence to strength.

What You’ll Learn

• Why “man up” doesn’t work and actually makes things worse
• How ignored emotions turn into anger, burnout, and shutdown
• Why men fear embarrassment more than vulnerability
• The identity confusion around “toxic masculinity” and over-correction
• Why curiosity is one of the most powerful tools for emotional health

• How to support a man who doesn’t have the words yet
• Why talking about feelings isn’t weakness — it’s strength

Statistics Don't Lie

• Men die by suicide about four times more than women
• Men make up 78–80% of all suicide deaths
• After breakups or divorce, men may face up to 8× higher risk of suicide compared to married peers
• Men are significantly less likely to seek treatment for depression or mood disorders

Resources Mentioned

• The Path Out of Loneliness — Dr. Mark Mayfield
• The Path to Wholeness — Dr. Mark Mayfield
• The Loneliness Workbook (self-paced, practical emotional skills)
• Additional tools and resources:
  https://www.mentalhealthmadesimple.life

Disclaimer

This podcast is for education only. It is not therapy or a replacement for mental health treatment.
If you are in crisis:

• In the U.S., call or text 988 or visit 988lifeline.org

• Outside the U.S., check your local emergency resources

• If you need help finding a therapist, reach out and our team will help you get connected

You matter. Seeking help is strength.

This week, Jonathan and Dr. Mark jump into one of the most confusing parts of emotional health: Why you feel lonely, why being alone isn’t the same thing as loneliness, and why solitude might actually be the thing your mind has been avoiding… but your soul desperately needs.

But first—an update.

Mark shares the story of how a simple relay race (yes, a relay race) turned into a blown Achilles and a forced season of slowing down. That honest moment becomes a doorway into today’s topic: how life has a way of pushing us into unwanted stillness… and how we can learn from it instead of fighting it.

From freak accidents to Final Destination-level childhood stories to the difference between doom-scrolling and actual solitude, this episode stays practical, relatable, and real.

🧠 What You’ll Learn in This Episode

• The state of being vs. the state of feeling lonely

• Why hopelessness sneaks up on you before you notice it

• How to know whether you need people or space

• The difference between reflection vs. rumination

• Why scrolling doesn't count as “alone time”

• How to build healthy solitude without shutting the world out

• How to identify the inputs that drain you

• • How to recharge before life derails you

  
  

  🔧 Practical Takeaways (Made Simple)

  • Pause before reacting: Ask “Do I need connection or do I need space?”

  • Learn your emotional battery: Irritability, procrastination, missed deadlines, overreacting—those can all be loneliness signals.

  • Use solitude for truth, not punishment:

    • Reflection asks: “What’s true?”

    • Rumination asks: “What’s wrong with me?”

  • Build micro-solitude: Be present on a walk, doing dishes, or sitting outside without constant distraction.

  • Check your inputs: More screen time ≠ more rest. Doom scrolling isn’t solitude.

• • Community isn’t always local: Sometimes your people live across time zones and screens—and that still counts.

  
  

  💬 A Line to Remember

  “Loneliness will drain you. Solitude, when you choose it, will refill you.”

  🌐 Resources + Connect with Us

  This episode is designed to help simplify your mental health journey and give you language for what you’re feeling.

  Explore tools, resources, and upcoming content at:
  www.MentalHealthMadeSimple.life

  ⚠️ Important Disclaimer

  Mental Health Made Simple is hosted by Dr. Mark Mayfield, a licensed clinician, and Jonathan Collier, a practitioner who speaks from lived experience.

  This podcast is for education and support only. It is not therapy, it is not a diagnosis, and it does not replace working with a licensed mental health professional.

  Therapy is valuable and often essential. If you’re struggling, we strongly encourage you to reach out to a therapist in your area.

  If you’re in crisis, thinking about harming yourself, or don’t feel safe:

  • Contact your local emergency number or crisis hotline immediately.

  If you need help finding a therapist, reach out to us at
  www.MentalHealthMadeSimple.life and we’ll help you explore next steps.

  ⭐ If This Episode Helped You…

  Please take 10 seconds to:✔ Rate the podcast✔ Leave a quick review✔ Share the episode with a friend

  Your support helps us reach more people who need simple, honest mental health clarity.

  
  

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