In this episode of the Love You To Life Podcast, Elizabeth White and Calvalyn Day declare it No November. Somewhere between Halloween and New Year's, the women we know turn into party planners, caterers, built-in therapists, and travel agents, mostly for zero dollars. Consider this episode your permission slip to say no, so you have room to say yes.

Elizabeth breaks down what happens in your body when you say yes to everything: the teeth grinding, the tight stomach, the sleep that won't come. She explains why "I declare myself well" can't become a lifestyle. Calvalyn counts the eight weeks left in the year and asks what you actually have capacity for. They talk about why our lives are not our mothers' lives, who is watching how we say no, and simple scripts for saying no without over-explaining. Then each host shares her own no list: perfect timing, holiday overcommitment, storybook mothering, and dry begging.

This one is for the high-achieving woman who gets excited when plans get canceled, keeps traditions out of guilt, and says yes before she checks her calendar. Count the cost, respect the pause, and make room for your best yes.

Both hosts have room for new coaching clients heading into 2027. Book a discovery call to see if working with one of us is a good fit.

Resources Mentioned:

Book a call with Elizabeth https://call.lovinglifewithliz.com/

Book a call with Calvalyn https://upgradecoaching.lovable.app

Stay Connected!

Instagram

Elizabeth — https://www.instagram.com/lovinglifewithliz

Calvalyn — https://www.instagram.com/calvalyn/?hl=en

TikTok

Elizabeth — https://www.tiktok.com/@lovinglifewithliz

Calvalyn — https://www.tiktok.com/@calvalynday

LinkedIn

Calvalyn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/calvalynday/

Elizabeth — https://www.linkedin.com/in/elizabeth-white-lmhc-lcac-board-certified-life-coach-34ba8734/

Key Takeaways

• No is a complete sentence. Any context you add is optional.

• Every no makes room for a yes you actually want.

• Stress with nowhere to go shows up in your body: your jaw, your stomach, your sleep.

• Pushing through sometimes is human. Pushing through as a lifestyle costs you.

• There are about eight weeks left this year. You can't be everywhere for everybody.

• Your life is not your mother's life, so her standards don't have to be yours.

• If you get excited when plans get canceled, you probably should have said no.

• Check your capacity, not just your calendar, before you say yes.

• Count the full cost: 30 minutes to put it up is also an hour to take it down.

• Someone is watching how you say no and learning they're allowed to say it too.

Chapters

00:00 Bone Broth vs. Coffee: Welcome In

00:51 Where No November Came From

02:53 The Unpaid Holiday Jobs Women Take On

04:17 Say No So You Can Say Yes

05:12 What Stress Does to Your Body

06:57 Oura Ring Truths and "I Declare Myself Well"

11:35 Eight Weeks Left: What's Your Capacity?

13:50 Our Lives Are Not Our Mothers' Lives

16:17 Respect the Pause: Who's Watching You

17:34 Scripts for Saying No

19:23 When You're Relieved Someone Canceled

20:45 Elizabeth's No: Perfect Timing and Holiday Plans

23:39 Calvalyn's No: Dry Begging

27:31 Saying No to Storybook Mothering

29:12 Three Questions for Your No November

32:05 Count the Cost Before You Say Yes

33:40 Discovery Calls for 2027

Keywords

Love You To Life Podcast, Elizabeth White, Calvalyn Day, No November, how to say no, saying no, boundaries, holiday boundaries, holiday stress, capacity, overcommitment, people pleasing, stress and the body, rest, emotional labor, dry begging, Black women wellness, high-achieving women, women's mental health, life coaching for women

In this episode of the Love You To Life Podcast, Elizabeth White and Calvalyn Day open up the archives of the Love You To Life Club, the virtual community they ran for high-achieving, ambitious women during the pandemic, and bring back one of its most-loved traditions: the Level Up List. Every month, club members got ten small, doable challenges designed to move their lives in the right direction. This list is from March 2021, and it still hits in 2026.

Elizabeth and Calvalyn walk through all ten items, from freshening up your playlist and trying a new color to getting in front of the camera, going no salt, taking a movement break, and putting your devices to bed early. Calvalyn shares why she has no photos of herself pregnant with any of her children, Elizabeth breaks down why rested women make richer decisions, and both hosts talk about how simply not rushing can tell your nervous system you are safe. They close with practicing forgiveness without giving anyone renewed access to you, and bringing back the joy of snail mail.

This one is for the woman who feels like she's treading water: tired, stretched thin, and short on joy. You don't need a breakthrough moment to feel better. You need small steps you can actually cross off. Try one item or all ten this month, and let the Lovey-Lifers cheer you on.

Download the Level Up List in the show notes, then tell us in the comments which challenge you're taking on

DOWNLOAD the Level Up List

Level Up List (March 2021 edition)

The Well Counseling and Consulting Group — book with therapist Yameen Chestnut

Stay Connected!

Instagram

Elizabeth — https://www.instagram.com/lovinglifewithliz

Calvalyn — https://www.instagram.com/calvalyn/?hl=en

TikTok

Elizabeth — https://www.tiktok.com/@lovinglifewithliz

Calvalyn — https://www.tiktok.com/@calvalynday

LinkedIn

Calvalyn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/calvalynday/

Elizabeth — https://www.linkedin.com/in/elizabeth-white-lmhc-lcac-board-certified-life-coach-34ba8734/

Key Takeaways

• Small steps train your brain not to fear the big goal.

• Crossing off something that's just for you is a real win.

• A fresh playlist can move you out of a season you've already processed.

• Try a new color and notice how you feel before and after.

• Get in the picture. Your kids will want photos of you someday.

• Small swaps, like watching your sodium at one meal, compound over time.

• A 10-minute walk after a meal counts. Movement doesn't need an hour.

• Confidence comes from doing new things, not waiting to feel ready.

• Rested women make richer decisions.

• Forgiveness frees you. It doesn't give anyone renewed access to you.

Chapters

00:00 Hot Fire and Holding On to Your Joy

00:38 Back to the Love You To Life Club Archives

01:31 The Level Up List and the Level Up Dance

03:29 Why Small Steps Help You Level Up

04:59 Shout Out to the Lovey-Lifers

05:56 The March 2021 List, Written From Our Guts

06:52 #1 Freshen Up Your Playlist

09:16 #2 Try a New Color

11:24 #3 Get in Front of the Camera

14:31 #4 Go No Salt

17:10 #5 Take a Movement Break

19:06 #6 Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

21:00 #7 Put Your Devices to Bed Early

24:47 #8 Slow Down, Friend

27:50 Slowing Down and Your Nervous System

30:46 #9 Practice Forgiveness

33:50 #10 Send Some Snail Mail

35:22 Which Level Up Will You Try This Month?

In this episode of the Love You To Life Podcast, Elizabeth White and Calvalyn Day are talking harvest season and what it takes to clear the ground before you can grow what you actually want. If this year didn't go the way you planned, the missteps, bad decisions, and regrets you keep replaying might be the weeds choking out your next season. Some of it has to be ripped up by the root, and that starts with forgiving yourself.

Elizabeth and Calvalyn unpack why your relationship with yourself is the operating system for every other relationship, why grace and accountability go hand in hand, and how rumination keeps you chewing on the past without ever processing it. From shame spirals and parenting regrets to money decisions made before a layoff, a Scarlet Letter detour, and the oldest-daughter burden, they show the difference between the leaves (overgiving, overworking, people-pleasing, overspending) and the roots underneath them: the beliefs that you're only worthy when you're earning, proving, or being perfect.

This one is for the high achiever who has become her own biggest bully. You'll also hear how to tell whether you need a therapist, a coach, or both, and why pulling bad roots is only half the work. The other half is nourishing the roots you want to keep. Pick one thing to forgive, one root to pull, and one to cultivate. We're on the journey with you.

Resources Mentioned:

The Well Counseling Group https://thewellcounselinggroup.com/

Stay Connected!

Instagram

Elizabeth — https://www.instagram.com/lovinglifewithliz

Calvalyn — https://www.instagram.com/calvalyn/?hl=en

TikTok

Elizabeth — https://www.tiktok.com/@lovinglifewithliz

Calvalyn — https://www.tiktok.com/@calvalynday

LinkedIn

Calvalyn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/calvalynday/

Elizabeth — https://www.linkedin.com/in/elizabeth-white-lmhc-lcac-board-certified-life-coach-34ba8734/

Key Takeaways

• Forgiving yourself isn't excusing, justifying, or pretending it didn't happen. It's choosing to stop punishing yourself.

• Your relationship with yourself is the operating system for how you relate to everyone else.

• If it's hard to forgive, trust, or stop judging others, look at how you treat yourself.

• Grace and accountability go hand in hand: own what happened, then decide how you'll show up now.

• Rumination is chewing without swallowing. Nothing gets processed, so nothing moves.

• You're meditating any time you give something consistent, focused attention. Choose what gets it.

• You made the best decision you could with the information you had at the time.

• Overgiving, overworking, and people-pleasing are leaves. The root is a belief about your worth.

• Pull the roots that don't serve you, and water the ones that do.

• Therapy works from the past forward; coaching works from the present forward. You may need one or both.