"We don't commit because we are afraid to fail but we fail because we don't commit"

One of my favourite sayings.

Commitment is absolutely everything and without it life is not only hard but you will find yourself drifting away from what is truly important to you.

Whether it be kayaking, coaching, policing, mentoring, the one thing I hear that separates those out who get results from those that don't is commitment.

People are often waiting for motivation, to 'feel' like doing the work but that feeling often comes after we have started.

People want confidence before they take the leap but it's commitment that gets us through the fear, get's us taking action, which then leads to the confidence.

You don't have to wait for fear to go before you commit and in fact that's why you need commitment, because when you do something for the first time you will feel fear.

Commitment is not something we wait for, it's a decision. You may not know how to do something and you may even be really bad at it but you can still decide to commit to doing it and that's where progress is made.

Have a listen and see my insights regarding commitment.

Today I am joined by Kristian Potter who is a Mindful Alignment Coach and founder of 'Internal Flow'.

We talk about the how to reduce stress, the benefits of marginal gains and the importance of rest as well as many other things

Kristian's website is www.internalflow.co.uk and his email address is kristian@internalflow.co.uk

you can also catch him on LinkedIn www.linkedin.com/in/internalflow

A lot of people rely on deadline pressure to get things done. They leave things to the last minute and love the excitement of it.

The problem comes when we have left things to the last minute and then other urgent things fall into our lap or we have to turn down a genuinely fun activity because we have to get the thing done that we have been putting off.

We get addicted to the hormones of stress to get things done and then complain that our life is hectic and busy.

When you realise the deadline is not causing the pressure and you can make that switch from "I can't be bothered" to "Let's get to work" without leaving it to the last minute, you have more options open to you.

You will also likely live a healthier life because you will not constantly be running at full throttle.

Watch the YouTube version by following the link below:

https://youtu.be/3jFMESX6sMU

I hear a lot of people setting boundaries because someone is triggering them and then complaining because that person has violated their boundary.

Firstly, I think the word triggered is overused and we should be replacing it with the word stimulus. Triggered for me suggests that the other person is the cause of our anxiety which puts the ball well and truly in their court. They have all the power.

When we see this person as the stimulus we can see them more as an object that our brain has created an association with and is then creating the appropriate response to correspond with that association.

This approach gives us our control back. Then we can set our boundaries because we realise that this person is not the cause of the pain, they are just the stimulus.

I teach people not to set boundaries in an attempt to control others or from a place of frustration because that just doesn't work. We want to set boundaries to get control back of our lives and to protect our relationships. In that case we need a good, loving reason why when we are setting them and enforce them from a loving place.

Have a listen and see what you think.

To watch the YouTube version click the link below:

https://youtu.be/AuR4NjxW4NE

In this episode I discuss with my good friend Ron Hill about the benefits of marginal gains and getting out of the 'All or Nothing' thinking that so many perfectionists get stuck in, leading to them giving up, being de-motivated and often feeling lost.

We also ricocheted into the topic of letting go of needing a particular outcome and how it can actually make you more motivated, successful and fulfilled.

We often think we have to 'need' something to be driven to get it, but as Dan Sullivan and Dr Benjamin Hardy say in the Gap and the Gain, a need is a sign of an unresolved internal conflict. In other words, we might be trying to achieve some goal because we are trying to prove that we are good enough. We are then attached to that goal because we need to achieve it for our sense of value and worth as a person.

When we approach it like this, any sort of failure has a huge impact and we never actually feel fulfilled. We hold back and don;t go 'all in' because failure is now personal.

On paper we might appear successful, but inside we are still struggling because all the external achievements in the world can't make you believe that you are good enough, that's an internal game.

When we separate our self worth from the achievement we experience less anxiety and find the calm and fulfillment we have been striving for.

Do we still strive for more?

Of course we do, because as humans we are designed to evolve but it no longer means anything about our sense of worth and value as a person.

Now we can go all in, fail big and it mean nothing about us.

That is true freedom!

Watch it on YouTube

https://youtu.be/rbJ3lRabLOM

People come to me saying they feel lost, de-motivated, confused and feel like they are drifting.

They think the problem is a big one but the solution is really simple.

Have a listen to how you can go from feeling lost to energised in a few easy steps.

To watch the YouTube version then please follow the link below:

https://youtu.be/TcD8PCmwIhw

If you're feeling lost and want to take this to the next level then book a FREE Discovery Call using the link below:

https://CoachingwithJonnyBevan.as.me/Discovery-Call

Most people rely on willpower to stop bad habits but willpower is finite and we either end up folding or even if it works in one area we find ourselves creating new bad habits in other areas.

In this episode I will explain why.

Link to the YouTube video

https://youtu.be/Q2sWdl7OIeM

Jonny

In this episode I am going to discuss what I believe to be the downsides of this approach.

Our brain works on reward and when we start rewarding ourselves for activities we find hard to do then we end up making the activity harder in the long run.

Would love your thoughts about this.

Link tot he YouTube video

https://youtu.be/DOJ_uWldE0E