In this anniversary episode, I’m reflecting on how this podcast began — and why so many women resonate with episode one: loneliness inside a marriage that looks “fine” on the outside.

Before my separation nearly 15 years ago, the fighting had stopped. But instead of feeling better, we became quiet roommates. The chaos was gone… but so was the connection.

If you’re not fighting but still feel distant, disconnected, or emotionally alone, this episode is for you.

I unpack the real root of that loneliness — attachment longing — and walk you through the five core questions underneath conflict and disconnection:

Are you there for me? Do I matter? Will you come when I call? Do you need me? Will you be there when I’m vulnerable?

You’ll learn why loneliness isn’t proof your marriage is broken — and how to move toward deeper attunement without rushing to fix everything.

If you’ve ever felt married but emotionally single, you are not alone.

Resources:

The Every Woman’s Bible is a study Bible for the heart and mind with over one hundred

scholars, writers, and contributors - all women - from around the world. It is packed with study notes and devotionals that address topics relevant to women with cultural, historical, and literary clarity and context to gain greater understanding.

Discover God’s heart for you through deep study and reflection.

Learn more at EveryWomansBible.com.

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Work with me:

• Schedule a 45 min 1:1 coaching call: https://thegracefueledwife.com/coaching

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In this very special 200th episode of The Grace Fueled Wife Podcast, I’m sitting with you in a conversation that feels both tender and necessary—the difference between intent and impact in marriage.

Because so often, we mean well. We’re not trying to hurt our husbands or create distance. And yet, our words can land in ways we never intended, leaving both of us feeling misunderstood, defensive, or shut down. If you’ve ever found yourself saying, “That’s not what I meant,” or “I was just trying to help” I want you to know - you’re not alone!

In this episode, I talk about why good intentions aren’t always enough, and how emotional attunement is what actually creates safety and connection. I’ll walk you through why impact matters more than intent during moments of tension, and how learning to repair—rather than retreat—can become one of the most powerful tools in your marriage.

We’ll talk about how to:

• Slow down defensiveness (yours and his)
• Take responsibility for impact without drowning in shame
• Repair moments of disconnection instead of avoiding them
• Rebuild emotional safety, even when conversations feel vulnerable

This isn’t about blaming yourself or fixing your husband. It’s about learning how to show up with wisdom, humility, and grace—so reconnection becomes possible again.

Wait!!! Before you go!

Here are some ways you can work with me or become a part of my community!

Work with me:

• Schedule a 45 min 1:1 coaching call: https://thegracefueledwife.com/coaching

Not ready to work with me yet? These are some ways to learn about me for free.

• • Join my community on Facebook - The Grace Fueled Wives Club https://www.facebook.com/groups/GraceFueledWifeCommunity
  • Become an Insider and get updates on all the podcast news: https://thegracefueledwife.com/insider

Have you ever found yourself and your husband stuck in recurring arguments that never seem to resolve? I've been there too. Today, we're piecing together everything we've learned about the negative communication cycle and how it’s responsible for your disconnection. We're diving into practical steps to recognize, regulate, and change these patterns in real-time. We'll talk about how to move from frustration back to connection, and I'll share personal anecdotes and clients' stories that highlight the importance of breaking these cycles. By the end, you'll know how to step out of reactivity with awareness, humility, and grace, fostering a deeper, more empathetic connection in your marriage. This isn't about forcing change, but about gentle, mindful shifts that make all the difference. Join me, take a deep breath, and let's work on breaking those negative cycles together.

Wait!!! Before you go!

Here are some ways you can work with me or become a part of my community!

Work with me:

• Schedule a 45 min 1:1 coaching call: https://thegracefueledwife.com/coaching

Not ready to work with me yet? These are some ways to learn about me for free.

• Join my community on Facebook - The Grace Fueled Wives Club https://www.facebook.com/groups/GraceFueledWifeCommunity
• Become an Insider and get updates on all the podcast news: https://thegracefueledwife.com/insider

Have you ever found yourself in a full-blown argument over something small, wondering how it got so big? In this episode, I share how understanding your nervous system can help you stop getting defensive, even when you feel attacked! You’ll learn what the “stoplight” model of emotions looks like, how Scripture affirms what neuroscience teaches about safety, and a simple breathing exercise to calm your body and reconnect with your spouse.

Join me as we explore how to move from protection mode to grace-filled connection, because even your nervous system is fearfully and wonderfully made.

Wait!!! Before you go!

Here are some ways you can work with me or become a part of my community!

Work with me:

• Schedule a 45 min 1:1 coaching call: https://thegracefueledwife.com/coaching

Not ready to work with me yet? These are some ways to learn about me for free.

• Join my community on Facebook - The Grace Fueled Wives Club https://www.facebook.com/groups/GraceFueledWifeCommunity
• Become an Insider and get updates on all the podcast news: https://thegracefueledwife.com/insider

In this episode, I dive deep into the world of emotional pursuers—something I know all too well from personal experience. I'll share my story of how years of tiny rejections and a relentless drive for validation shaped my adult relationships, leading to constant anxiety and a desperate need for connection. We'll explore how these anxiously attached styles develop and the exhausting cycle they create. But don't worry, it's not all doom and gloom! I'll tell you how I began to heal by leaning into my faith and re-identifying myself through God's eyes, rather than seeking my husband's validation. This episode is all about finding strength in your identity and embracing grace in your relationships. I hope my journey can offer you some guidance and hope if you're facing similar challenges. So, if you're an emotional pursuer longing for connection but often finding yourself in a cycle of blame and resentment, you're in the right place. Let's work on becoming the grace-fueled wives we aspire to be, together.

00:00 Introduction: The Weight of Tiny Rejections

01:03 Understanding Emotional Pursuers

01:48 A Personal Story of Perfectionism

04:00 The Impact of Inconsistent Caregivers

04:40 The Exhausting Cycle of Pursuers

08:12 Finding Strength in Faith

09:42 A Path to Healing and Connection

10:22 Conclusion and Support

Wait!!! Before you go!

Here are some ways you can work with me or become a part of my community!

Work with me:

• Schedule a 45 min 1:1 coaching call: https://thegracefueledwife.com/coaching

Not ready to work with me yet? These are some ways to learn about me for free.

• Join my community on Facebook - The Grace Fueled Wives Club https://www.facebook.com/groups/GraceFueledWifeCommunity
• Become an Insider and get updates on all the podcast news: https://thegracefueledwife.com/insider

In this episode I continue the discussion from last week about negative communication cycles, focusing specifically on emotional withdrawers. I'll share a personal story and explore why some people withdraw emotionally in relationships. We delve into how childhood experiences and societal expectations shape this behavior. I highlight the struggles that withdrawers face, such as feeling unsafe expressing emotions and the pressure of perceived failure. By understanding their experiences, we aim to foster empathy, and improve communication. Join me to learn more about how to offer grace and nurture a healthier relationship.

03:06 Understanding Withdrawers

04:07 The Impact of Upbringing on Withdrawers

05:07 Withdrawers in Professional Life

06:51 The Emotional Struggles of Withdrawers

10:40 Empathy for Withdrawers

Wait!!! Before you go!

Here are some ways you can work with me or become a part of my community!

Work with me:

• Schedule a 45 min 1:1 coaching call: https://thegracefueledwife.com/coaching

Not ready to work with me yet? These are some ways to learn about me for free.

• Join my community on Facebook - The Grace Fueled Wives Club https://www.facebook.com/groups/GraceFueledWifeCommunity
• Become an Insider and get updates on all the podcast news: https://thegracefueledwife.com/insider

In this episode, we dive into the root causes of disconnection in marriages focusing on unmet emotional needs and negative communication cycles. I share a personal story showcasing how recognizing these cycles and responding differently can transform interactions. Using a practical exercise, I explain the mechanics of negative communication and how it perpetuates disconnection. Tune in to understand how you can stop these cycles and start feeling connected again. Don't forget to check out the free video training and our community resources - If you’re already on my insider list, I’ve included it with this week’s email.

00:23 Understanding Communication Issues in Relationships

01:19 Personal Story: Handling a Partner's Mood

04:09 The Negative Communication Cycle Explained

04:38 Visualizing the Communication Cycle

13:14 Impact of Negative Cycles on Emotional Needs

14:29 Conclusion and Resources

Wait!!! Before you go!

Here are some ways you can work with me or become a part of my community!

Work with me:

• Schedule a 45 min 1:1 coaching call: https://thegracefueledwife.com/coaching

Not ready to work with me yet? These are some ways to learn about me for free.

• Join my community on Facebook - The Grace Fueled Wives Club https://www.facebook.com/groups/GraceFueledWifeCommunity
• Become an Insider and get updates on all the podcast news: https://thegracefueledwife.com/insider
• Download the visual aid from this episode (If you’re already on my insider list it will be included with this week’s email): https://thegracefueledwife.com/cycle

In this episode, I give you some tips on how you can put defensiveness aside and respond with grace when a situation gets challenging! We explore the emotions behind defensiveness and how to navigate them effectively by learning the three key steps to deescalate an argument. I also share how validating feelings and communicating from a place of understanding can make a huge difference in your relationships.

00:00 Introduction and Welcome Back

01:13 A Personal Story of Defensiveness

02:28 Reflecting on Emotional Reactions

05:52 Practical Steps to Deescalate Arguments

09:15 Final Thoughts and Announcements

Wait!!! Before you go!

Here are some ways you can work with me or become a part of my community!

Work with me:

• Schedule a 45 min 1:1 coaching call: thegracefueledwife.com/coaching

Not ready to work with me yet? These are some ways to learn about me for free.

• Join my community on Facebook - The Grace Fueled Wives Club https://www.facebook.com/groups/GraceFueledWifeCommunity
• Become an Insider and get updates on all the podcast news. Thegracefueledwife.com/insider