A Rotten Fridge, Clogged Pipes, and My Initiation into New York City

I five months in near-total silence on my grandparents' home in Topeka, Kansas trusting myself and embracing the quiet nothingness of the in-between. After being sent a blaring sign from The Universe that it was time to leave Denver and move to New York City, I knew I needed to deepen my relationship to myself and nervous system before I did. Then, it was time. Every step of the process of finding a new apartment and planning my trip across the country, I checked-in with my body and waited until it felt warm, light, and gooey before I said yes.

And then I pulled up to my new Brooklyn apartment, walked through the door, and the place was trashed. Literally.

This is my first ever solo episode. I'm pulling back the curtain on the last year of my life. The breakup that broke seriously engrained pattern. The profound boredom that cracked everything open. The decision to stop running away from places and start walking intentionally toward them. And what it actually means to be in the egg phase of the cycle of transformation instead of the cocoon — because they are not the same thing, and the distinction changes everything.

In today’s episode, we’ll dive into:

• The "What Would My Favorite Self Do?" experiment that started as a response to a breakup and became a complete life overhaul
• Why I went to Kansas before I went to New York — and why that was never the consolation prize
• The four stages of the transformation cycle and how they map onto the lunar cycle, the seasons, the menstrual cycle, and the butterfly
• What the void actually feels like from the inside (hint: 50 shades of gray, not in the fun way... but also kind of in the fun way)
• The difference between running away from a place and intentionally walking toward one
• How a rotten fridge, three plumbers, and six hours with Kevin became a spiritual initiation
• What it means to check your body for a "yes" — and what warm, light, and gooey actually feels like
• Why my inner child panicked when I crossed back into New York — and how I handled it
• The ventilator metaphor — and what it actually costs to take yourself off life support
• Saturn into Aries, synchronicities in the street, and the weekend that made the decision for me
• Why talking about the move would have taken me out of it — and what I chose instead
• The caterpillar phase: what it looks like to consume, grow, and stretch without ripping
• How Magnetic Habits Bingo kept me grounded through 305 days of complete upheaval

This episode is for:

• The ones who are mid-void and needed someone to tell them what's actually happening
• The ones who have run away from every place they've ever lived and are starting to wonder if it's them
• The ones whose body is screaming "not like this, not this fast" even when the decision is right
• The ones who have been calling it "the cocoon" when really they've been in the egg this whole time
• The ones whose external world is currently a complete disaster and are desperately trying to find the metaphor
• The ones who are ready to stop settling for relationships and cities and versions of themselves they've already outgrown
• The ones who want permission to do the big thing slowly
• And anyone who’s nosy and just wants to know why I went dark for 3+ weeks on social media

Ready to go through your own transformation?

The waitlist for Metamorphosis — my 12-week group immersion for self-alchemy — is now open! Over three-months starting in March, you'll meet and build unbreakable self-loyalty with your Inner Self, Younger Self, Shadow Self, Higher Self, and Future Self (and Spirit Guides) so you can stop suffering your own worst enemy and start thriving as your own best friend. There are only 13 spots. Want in?

Join the waitlist here: ashleybyjones.com/metamorphosisOr DM me directly to learn more.

Wanna come yap with me about the cycle of transformation or moving insanity?Instagram: @ashley.b.jonesWebsite: ashleybyjones.com

What if play isn't just for kids? What if it's the practice that keeps you tethered to yourself when everything falls apart?

Rachael Renae spent over a decade as a civil engineer, building what looked like a stable life while her creative soul screamed to get out. Then her dad got sick. She moved home. He passed away six months later. And suddenly, she couldn't fake it anymore. So, she quit her corporate job, started making weird paper mache sculptures taller than herself, and discovered that play isn't optional when everything falls apart — it's survival.

This conversation is about what happens when grief cracks you open and, instead of trying to put yourself back together the same way, you let yourself become something new.

We dive into:

• Why matching your mug to your outfit is an act of survival during hard times
• Play and creativity as a tether to your authentic self when everything else is falling apart
• How grief expands your capacity for joy (not just pain)
• The spell book her mom found and the shame of having your creativity discovered
• Closing her stationery business because monetizing joy killed the magic
• Being terrible at stained glass and why that's perfect information
• Jealousy as a roadmap to what you actually want
• Why creativity is human nature—from field hollers to concentration camp art
• Naming your inner child and becoming your own best friend
• Building trust with yourself through tiny daily choices that compound
• "It should feel like the book"—her framework for relationships that feel resistance-free
• The difference between making art to sell vs. making art because you're obsessed

This episode is for: anyone navigating grief or loss, people who dismiss play as frivolous, burnt-out corporate workers who feel that crunchy agitation of "something's not right," anyone who thinks they're "not creative," the ones who need permission to be gloriously bad at things, anyone protecting their joy from monetization, people rebuilding their life from scratch and terrified they're doing it wrong.

Free resources from Rachael:

• Silly Questions for Creative Connection - Deepen your relationships through play
• 80+ Play Ideas + Exercise - Discover your version of play

Rachael's book Prioritize Play comes out June 2026

The Juice Box community: Rachael's year-long creative container where you pick a play priority each season and actually follow through. Opens for new members April 2026.

Where to find Rachael:Instagram: @rachaelrenae Website: rachaelrenae.com

Rachael Renae is an artist and creativity hype gal! I help creatives use play as a tool to overcoming blocks, connecting with themselves, and living their big, juicy lives!

The Power of Ravishing The F*ck Out of Your Life with Giana Cerasia

What if shadow work isn't about digging through your trauma—but about throwing the most exquisite dinner party for every version of yourself you've been taught to exile?

Giana Cerasia has been a lot of things: a Title I teacher with 150 students a day, a prison reformer, a government lobbyist fighting for educational equity, a CrossFit athlete, a 4th generation Italian witch. She's also someone who brought her husband AND their girlfriend home to her mom's house for the holidays—and sat in the discomfort while her family spun out. Because Giana knows something most of us are terrified to accept: wholeness doesn't come from fixing your broken parts. It comes from learning to ravish them.

This conversation isn't about healing in the "love and light" way. It's about getting feral with your shadows, sitting in discomfort until you find play on the other side, and refusing to collapse yourself into a single story just to belong.

In today’s salacious convo, we dive into:

• What shadow work actually is (spoiler: not rehashing trauma),
• the half-closed loops we carry and why they keep us stuck,
• how sitting in discomfort creates intimacy,
• why the opposite of trauma is play,
• loving the good girl and the control freak instead of exiling them,
• bringing your husband and girlfriend home to your mom's house,
• and the one exercise you can do right now with the person who pisses you off most.

This episode is for:

• anyone exhausted from trying to "fix" themselves,
• chronic people-pleasers managing everyone else's feelings,
• humans who've been taught to pick one identity but know they're multifaceted as fuck (the ones ready to stop performing and start ravishing),
• women hungry to descend into shadow and alchemize it into power.

Where you can hang out with Giana:Instagram: @giana.cerasia | Podcast: Kitchen Table Sauce | Substack: Giana's Substack | Free Monthly Women's Circle: Sign up here

Giana is launching her Apprenticeship in Depth, Paradox and Power - a 7-month journey (starting in April, ending in Scorpio season) where you'll play, dig, and experiment your way into ravishing your life. Join the waitlist at her Instagram or website.

About Giana:Giana Cerasia is a strategist, coach, and modern-day medicine woman for people who refuse to live half a life. She's obsessed with complexity—how we hold contradiction, inhabit our bodies, and stop collapsing into binaries in cultures addicted to simplicity. She's been many things: teacher, prison reformer, lobbyist, athlete, corporate executive, coach, and a 4th generation Strega. Each bearing the same lesson—simplification of identity is seductive, but wholeness lives in the mess. Today, she runs Ravish where she works with women hungry to descend into shadow, tend their paradox, and alchemize it into power, creativity, and embodied leadership. She also runs And/Also, a business strategy studio, and hosts free monthly community spaces for women.