Before the toys, before the cartoons, before the catchphrases — there were two guys in an apartment with a strange idea and a black-and-white comic.

This week we explore the surprisingly gritty origins of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, why they worked, and how they somehow grew up alongside us. We break down the turtles’ personalities, argue about weapons, revisit Secret of the Ooze, and relive the absolute rage of the NES game.

Then we draft our ultimate TMNT teams and let a brutally honest judge decide who wins.

It’s about brotherhood, nostalgia, and the weird stuff that shaped us.

This is The Dad Brotocol. Before we were dads, we were bros.

Happy Valentine’s Day. We talk first crushes, celebrity draft picks, embarrassing Facebook memories, and play “Would You Still Crush On Her If…” Things spiral (as they do), but somehow we land on nostalgia, bromances, and clean laundry. This one’s on you.

This week on Dad Brotocol, we throw the lamest Super Bowl party imaginable and somehow never recover. We argue about whether the Pro Bowl should be legally put down, debate Bill Belichick and Hall of Fame politics, relive the Super Bowls that hooked us as kids, and spiral into ranking NFL dynasties until everyone’s mad.

There’s nostalgia, yelling, bad lists, good memories, tired dads, kids in the background, and at least one story about boycotting the Super Bowl out of pure spite. It’s messy, honest, and exactly how Super Bowl conversations actually go when real dads get together.

Grab some wings (hopefully flats), lower your expectations, and enjoy the chaos.