Before the toys, before the cartoons, before the catchphrases — there were two guys in an apartment with a strange idea and a black-and-white comic.

This week we explore the surprisingly gritty origins of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, why they worked, and how they somehow grew up alongside us. We break down the turtles’ personalities, argue about weapons, revisit Secret of the Ooze, and relive the absolute rage of the NES game.

Then we draft our ultimate TMNT teams and let a brutally honest judge decide who wins.

It’s about brotherhood, nostalgia, and the weird stuff that shaped us.

This is The Dad Brotocol. Before we were dads, we were bros.

Happy Valentine’s Day. We talk first crushes, celebrity draft picks, embarrassing Facebook memories, and play “Would You Still Crush On Her If…” Things spiral (as they do), but somehow we land on nostalgia, bromances, and clean laundry. This one’s on you.

This week on Dad Brotocol, we throw the lamest Super Bowl party imaginable and somehow never recover. We argue about whether the Pro Bowl should be legally put down, debate Bill Belichick and Hall of Fame politics, relive the Super Bowls that hooked us as kids, and spiral into ranking NFL dynasties until everyone’s mad.

There’s nostalgia, yelling, bad lists, good memories, tired dads, kids in the background, and at least one story about boycotting the Super Bowl out of pure spite. It’s messy, honest, and exactly how Super Bowl conversations actually go when real dads get together.

Grab some wings (hopefully flats), lower your expectations, and enjoy the chaos.

Why don’t our kids listen to our podcast? When we were kids, listening to adults talk felt important. Now? Our kids couldn’t care less.

This week, the bros stretch, sweat, and emotionally relive PE — the best, the worst, and the stuff that probably stuck with us a little too long. From parachutes, dodgeball, floor hockey, and legendary PE teachers… to ropes we never climbed, miles we never ran fast enough, locker rooms, bullying, and the weird social hierarchy that only existed in gym class.

We also try to answer an important question: Why would recess as an adult be amazing, but PE as an adult would absolutely suck?

Along the way we spiral (briefly) into football, nostalgia, confidence, embarrassment, and why being “good at one thing” in PE could make you feel like a hero for a day.

Before we were dads… we were just trying not to get picked last.

In this episode, we take a hard nostalgic look at recess—the good, the bad, and the absolute shit. From four square and “the big toy” to concussions, staples, and questionable adult supervision, we break down why recess ruled… and why adults desperately need it back.

We also debut:

• A chaotic (and unnamed) nostalgia segment
• A full Uncle Chris Update involving layoffs, unions, overtime, and life choices
• The idea that recess for adults should be mandatory (with buddy benches)
• Whose Most Likely To cards 81–90
• A completely failed prank call that somehow proves a future episode idea

Plus, we plug a bonus interview with Brian Ruppert that may or may not have been buried for over a year.

It’s messy, loud, nostalgic, and way better than Episode 42. You’re welcome.

In this episode, we take a turn and get serious for a minute. We talk about what it’s like being dads watching our kids grow up—missing who they were, being proud of who they’re becoming, and not always knowing how to hold both at the same time.

There’s still laughter, chaos, and classic Dad Brotocol detours, but at the heart of this one is a real conversation about fatherhood, time moving too fast, and those quiet moments that hit harder than expected.

We’re not telling our kids’ stories. We’re talking about what it feels like to be their dads.

Thanks for being here. Sorry about that.

It’s the New Year’s episode… which means nothing goes according to plan.

Uncle RC waits. Uncle Chris is late. Technology immediately betrays everyone. From a painfully long cold open and a brutally honest 2025 Chris Life Review, to New Year’s resolutions that feel suspiciously low-bar, the guys do what they do best: argue, spiral, and somehow keep recording.

Along the way, they debate whether Travis Kelce is retiring, relive questionable road-trip memories, and test a wildly inappropriate adult card game that proves some situations really can get worse. There’s eggnog judgment, mic-distance policing, accidental therapy, and the realization that getting older mostly just means arguing about staying up past midnight.

It’s messy. It’s loud. It’s way too long in places. But hey — it’s a brand-new year.

Before we were dads… we were this.

It’s Episode 40, which means Uncle Chris is in charge… and things immediately go off the rails.

In this Christmas Train Wreck episode of The Dad Brotocol, we attempt to:

• Talk about NFL players doing “nice things” for Christmas
• Explain what a Christmas miracle even is
• Tell the true (and absolutely wild) story of a dead cat that came back on Christmas Eve — complete with a real newspaper article from 1994
• Relive the time we almost died in a truck accident after Christmas
• Argue about Home Alone 2, Miracle Whip, slushy machines, and whether miracles count if the Chiefs lose
• End the night with the Naughty Things game, where things get inappropriate, confusing, heartfelt, offensive, nostalgic, and somehow all of it works

There is yelling. There is swearing. There is sibling energy. There is no clear structure — by design.

If you like polished podcasts, this is not for you. If you like chaotic brother banter, accidental emotional moments, and a Christmas episode that feels like it was recorded five minutes before dinner… welcome home.