Jayson and Ellen explore divorce through an evolutionary and cultural lens. Why does divorce feel easier in some cultures than others? Why do some couples stay together but never truly thrive? How do you know when someone is the wrong person, and how do you honestly assess whether you did everything you could to make the relationship work? They also examine when divorce does not actually make things better and why taking responsibility for your role in relationship failures matters more than blame.

Timestamps:

• 1:36 - Human evolution and divorce
• 4:38 - Cultural differences in the ease of divorce
• 9:44 - Not all couples that stay together thrive
• 15:00 - How do you know when someone is the “wrong” person
• 18:42 - Did you do everything you could to make things work?
• 21:55 - When divorce doesn’t make things better
• 26:16 - Consider your own role in relationship failures

Links:

• ​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Ellen's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• ​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jayson's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you find this show valuable, please follow the show on Spotify, give us a rating and tell your friends and family about Integrated!

Jayson and Ellen explore what it really means when couples say they never fight. They break down why fighting is anything that needs repair, not just overt conflict, and why couples who never fight miss important opportunities to learn. They look at the types of couples who avoid conflict, how much fighting is too much, which couples can work through frequent conflict, and the deeper issues that can be masked by a lack of fighting.

Timestamps:

• 1:39 - When couples say they never fight
• 4:11 - Fighting is anything that needs to be repaired
• 9:50 - If you never fight you never learn
• 12:50 - Types of couples that don’t fight
• 17:04 - How much fighting is too much?
• 20:27 - What kinds of couples can overcome fighting?
• 22:52 - Issues masked by a lack of fighting

Links:

• ​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Ellen's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• ​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jayson's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you find this show valuable, please follow the show on Spotify, give us a rating and tell your friends and family about Integrated!

Jayson and Ellen break down the popular ideas around masculine and feminine energy and why these constructs create more harm than help. They explore how this paradigm becomes oppressive, why traditional gender roles limit co creation, and how over functioning and under functioning show up in relationships. They also examine why these ideas keep circulating despite causing so much confusion and disconnection.

Timestamps:

• 1:44 - Popular masculine and feminine constructs
• 7:15 - The oppressive nature of this paradigm
• 18:39 - Traditional gender roles are bad for co-creation
• 23:47 - Over-functioning and under-functioning
• 32:10 - Why do these ideas perpetuate?

Links:

• ​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Ellen's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• ​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jayson's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you find this show valuable, please follow the show on Spotify, give us a rating and tell your friends and family about Integrated!

What does it mean to win even when a relationship ends? Jayson and Ellen explain how to learn from your relationship regardless of the outcome and why being invested in your own growth is the real victory. If you want to leave every relationship better than you entered it, this episode will show you how.

Timestamps:

• 1:24 - How to win even if you lose
• 3:31 - Learning from your relationship even if it ends
• 10:36 - You have to be invested in your own growth

Links:

• ​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Ellen's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• ​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jayson's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you find this show valuable, please follow the show on Spotify, give us a rating and tell your friends and family about Integrated!

Most couples don’t actually work on their relationship—they just work on everything else. In this episode, Jayson and Ellen unpack what it really means to prioritize your relationship, not just maintain it. They discuss why you can’t rely on a professional to do the heavy lifting, how to develop a longevity mindset, and how to talk about the relationship itself in a way that creates lasting change.

Timestamps:

• 3:49 - You can’t just rely on a professional
• 8:36 - The relationship longevity mindset
• 14:29 - Learning how to talk about the relationship
• 10:56 - Getting support

Links:

• ​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Ellen's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• ​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jayson's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you find this show valuable, please follow the show on Spotify, give us a rating and tell your friends and family about Integrated!

Ellen and Jayson talk about the most common sex problems couples face. How can sex become a crutch or start to feel transactional? What role do our sexual histories play? And how can couples bring up sex issues without causing shutdown or shame?

Timestamps:

• 0:27 - The most common sex problem
• 4:11 - The lazy guy thought process
• 6:58 - The woman’s perspective
• 10:56 - Sexual histories
• 13:54 - Don’t let sex become transactional
• 17:08 - Sex as a crutch
• 19:41 - Communicating about sex
• 31:17 - How to bring up sex in a relationship

Links:

• ​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Ellen's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• ​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jayson's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you find this show valuable, please follow the show on Spotify, give us a rating and tell your friends and family about Integrated!

What’s the most powerful lever you can pull to help you and your partner break free from communication loops and recurring frustrations? In this episode, Ellen and Jayson share practical tips and demonstrate both helpful and unhelpful ways to express and receive emotions.

How did your parents respond to your emotions, and how does that shape the way you respond to others today? What is emotional glue and why is it so important in relationships?

If you’re looking to become a better partner, you’ll find this episode insightful and valuable.

Timestamps:

• 5:11 - The lever you need to pull
• 8:01 - How did your parents respond to your emotions?
• 13:14 - Why is emotional glue so important?
• 19:57 - Examples of speaking and receiving emotions
• 37:14 - Conclusion

Links:

• ​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Ellen's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• ​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jayson's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you find this show valuable, please follow the show on Spotify, give us a rating and tell your friends and family about Integrated!

Do you want to learn how to move through arguments with your partner quickly, effectively, and efficiently? This episode is for you. Jayson and Ellen talk about conflict and how to resolve it. What should you do when you find yourself in an argument? What is the talking path? What is the listening path? Why is it important to deal with one conflict at a time? Don’t miss this insightful episode.

Timestamps:

• 1:22 - How to move through an argument quickly
• 4:25 - What to do when you find yourself in an argument
• 9:11 - The talking path - taking ownership
• 16:09 - The listening path- LUFU
• 25:26 - One thing at a time

Links:

• ​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Ellen's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• ​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jayson's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you find this show valuable, please follow the show on Spotify, give us a rating and tell your friends and family about Integrated!