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Welcome back to The Angela Rose Show!

In this episode, I am so honored to sit down with my guest, Kenzie. She is the very first single woman to leave her Beachy Amish Mennonite church community, and her journey of courage and self-discovery is deeply inspiring.
Kenzie and I dive into what it was really like growing up under strict religious expectations, navigating insular community rules around dress and behavior, surviving abuse, bullying, and the devastating impact.

Her message to anyone feeling stuck in a high-control system is powerful: you don't need a traumatic story or a massive justification to walk away—it is enough to simply decide you want a different future for yourself.

In our conversation, we cover:

• Kenzie’s upbringing in the Beachy Amish Mennonite culture
• Learning she had a stepbrother at 4-and witnessing the hush-hush that followed
• Double standards and strict rules surrounding appearance and clothing
• School bullying experiences, abusive discipline, and childhood isolation
• Processing trauma, overcoming suicidal ideation, and finding purpose
• What happened when she became the first single girl to step away from her local church

Please leave Kenzie some love in the comments below, and let us know what part of her story resonated with you the most! If you find value in these conversations, remember to like, share, and subscribe to help us keep unveiling stories of religious abuse and healing.

Follow Angela Rose:
Instagram: / angelarosemartin
Facebook: / angelarose
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Crisis Support Resources
Crisis Text Line — Text TWLOHA to 741741
Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — Call 988
National Child Abuse Hotline — Call 800-422-4453
National Domestic Violence Hotline — Call 800-799-7233
RAINN (Sexual Assault Support) — Call 800-656-4673

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“We all affect everyone else’s mental health. If you are going through something right now, just keep going."

In this deeply powerful episode of The Angela Rose Show, Angela sits down with Laverne, who traveled all the way from Canada to share his story of growing up inside the Holdeman Mennonite community, surviving childhood abuse, sexual assault, religious fear, and the long road of reclaiming his voice, his body, and his worth.

Laverne opens up about the painful reality of growing up with an abusive mother- a woman he describes as violent, manipulative, emotionally cruel, and incapable of offering the nurture every child deserves. As the scapegoated child in a large family, Laverne experienced repeated verbal, emotional, and physical abuse, often being punished for things he did not do and learning early that love, safety, and protection were not guaranteed at home.

He shares how that maternal wound shaped so much of his life: the begging to be loved, the fear of rejection and abandonment, and the way childhood trauma impacted him in relationships and his career in law enforcement.

This conversation also explores the betrayal of not being protected after childhood sexual assault, the silence and control inside the church system, and the way religious fear was used to pressure children into compliance. Laverne names the devastating contradiction of a church that preached non-resistance while violence lived inside the home, and a culture that claimed to protect children while abuse was normalized, minimized, and handled internally.

Laverne shares honestly about therapy, EMDR, somatic healing, mental health crisis, PTSD, parenting differently, and what it means to “heal out loud” so others know they are not alone. He speaks with deep love for the little boy who survived, questioned, resisted, and somehow never fully lost himself.

With courage and honesty, we explore:
• Growing up in the Holdeman Mennonite community in Canada
• The impact of an abusive mother
• Being scapegoated as a child and punished for being true to himself
• The lifelong wound of not receiving nurture, affection, or protection from a mother
• Religious fear, hellfire preaching, revival pressure, and spiritual control
• The betrayal of childhood sexual assault not being handled with safety or justice
• Why silence only serves abusers
• How abuse hides inside high-control religious systems
• Mental health stigma, suicidal ideation, and why men need safe spaces to speak
•A career in Law enforcement, PTSD, burnout, and childhood trauma resurfacing
• Forgiveness as something done for yourself—not as permission for continued harm
• Parenting with love, protection, curiosity, and freedom
• Reclaiming the little boy who always knew he deserved more

This is not just a story of survival.
It is a story of truth, courage, and learning to love yourself again.

Trigger Warning: Discussion of childhood physical abuse, maternal abuse, sexual assault, religious trauma, coercive control, emotional abuse, mental health crisis, suicidal ideation, PTSD, family trauma, and spiritual manipulation.

If Laverne’s story resonated with you, please leave a comment and let him know what part of his story you connected with. These conversations matter. They help others feel less alone, and they remind us that telling our story can become a lifeline for someone else.

Follow Angela Rose:
Instagram: / angelarosemartin
Facebook: / angelarosemartin
TikTok: / angelaroseshow

Connect with Laverne (Guest)

Instagram: / trueemotiondad

Facebook: / Laverne Friesen

Tiktok: / trueemotiondad

Crisis Support Resources
Crisis Text Line — Text TWLOHA to 741741
Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — Call 988
National Child Abuse Hotline — Call 800-422-4453
RAINN — Call 800-656-4673

Support the show

Send us Fan Mail

The Scream I Couldn’t Let Out: Trauma Recovery, Somatic Release & Being Safely Witnessed

“I had always wanted to be able to scream. I always felt like I needed to let out a scream, but I couldn’t.”

In this powerful season one closing episode of The Angela Rose Show, Angela shares a deeply personal recovery story about experiential trauma therapy, emotional release, and what it felt like to finally be safely witnessed.

Instead of interviewing a guest, Angela reflects on her time at a trauma-informed healing workshop in Tennessee, where storytelling, confidentiality, consent, and shared humanity created a space where survivors could be seen without being fixed, advised, or judged.

Angela opens up about the impact of sharing her story timeline in a small group, watching others gently respond with tears, anger, and quiet connection. For someone who had often felt dismissed, misunderstood, or spiritually corrected instead of heard, this experience became a powerful example of what safe witnessing can feel like.

She also shares two deeply embodied moments from her recovery: the first time she was finally able to scream with a circle of other survivors, and a powerful exercise where carrying and throwing rocks became a physical release of anger, injustice, and old identities she never asked to carry.

With honesty and courage, we explore:
• Why some survivors feel the need to scream, but cannot access it
• The healing power of being witnessed without advice, fixing, or spiritual correction
• How storytelling can reduce shame and create connection
• The importance of consent, not only physically, but emotionally and verbally
• Why trauma survivors may need safe witnesses before they can fully express pain
• Somatic release through screaming, movement, nature, and embodied therapy
• Releasing anger in safe ways after years of suppression, obedience, and fear
• Dropping the “rocks” we were handed but never chose to carry
• The role of survivor community in helping us feel less alone
• Learning that emotional expression is not what is wrong with us — it may be what is right about us

This is not just a story about therapy.
It is a story of being heard, releasing what was never yours, and learning to express what had been silenced.

Trigger Warning: Discussion of trauma recovery, emotional abuse, psychological abuse, coercive control, religious trauma, suicidal ideation/intrusive thoughts, emotional suppression, and somatic release.

If this episode resonated with you, comment “I get it” below. If you have ever felt that scream stuck inside, or if you have ever needed someone to simply witness your pain without fixing it, you are not alone.

Therapy Resource: Onsite https://experienceonsite.com/

Follow Angela Rose:
Instagram: / angelarosemartin
Facebook: / angelarosemartin
TikTok: / angelaroseshow

Crisis Support Resources
Crisis Text Line — Text TWLOHA to 741741
Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — Call 988
National Child Abuse Hotline — Call 800-422-4453
National Domestic Violence Hotline — Call 800-799-7233
RAINN — Call 800-656-4673

Support the show