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That's Where I'm At

That's Where I'm At

De : Laura Richards
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 Welcome to "That's Where I'm At" with your host, Laura Richards! Join Laura Richards, a survivor of narcissistic abuse with 33 years experience, as she guides you through the journey of identifying, healing from, and thriving after emotional and psychological abuse. With a mission to raise awareness, foster emotional recovery, and empower you to love yourself, Laura brings honesty, compassion, and a touch of humor to every episode. Dive into deep, meaningful conversations, tackle tough topics, and uncover moments of hope and healing. Our supportive community is here for you, offering insights, support, and a shared path to recovery and empowerment. Subscribe now and be part of a transformative journey that's messy, real, and truly inspiring!2023 Développement personnel Hygiène et vie saine Psychologie Psychologie et psychiatrie Réussite personnelle
Épisodes
  • EP 80: When Love Becomes a Prison with Dana Diaz: The Complex Reality of Living with a Covert Narcissist

    EP 80: When Love Becomes a Prison with Dana Diaz: The Complex Reality of Living with a Covert Narcissist
    May 6 2026
    In this episode of That's Where I'm At, host Laura welcomes Dana S. Diaz, a bestselling, award-winning author, keynote speaker, and survivor of narcissistic abuse. Dana shares her powerful story of escaping a 25-year marriage to a covert narcissist, offering a deeply honest look into the realities of long-term psychological abuse. After enduring abuse in both childhood and marriage, Dana refused to stay a victim and now uses her voice to help others break free. Featured on nearly 300 podcasts worldwide, she blends raw truth with neuroscience-backed insight to expose the patterns that keep people stuck and guide survivors toward lasting healing and empowerment. In this conversation, Dana and Laura unpack the complexities of narcissistic abuse, trauma bonding, and the physical toll of chronic stress caused by prolonged trauma. Dana also highlights the challenges victims face when leaving abusive relationships and the importance of recognizing manipulation tactics like gaslighting. Despite the pain of her journey, Dana's story is one of resilience, transformation, and hope—reminding listeners that they are not alone and that healing is always possible. Key Topics & Timestamps How Dana's Work Began (00:03:21) Dana explains her work started from a hidden journal she kept while trapped with her abusive husband during COVID. Life with a Narcissist (00:04:33) Dana describes the isolation and control she experienced, including having no smartphone and being accused of cheating. The Pandemic's Impact (00:05:52) The speakers discuss how the pandemic lockdown intensified domestic abuse situations, trapping victims at home with their abusers. Red Flags of Abuse (00:07:45) Laura highlights red flags from Dana's story, such as isolation, control over technology, and financial entitlement from the abuser. The Trauma Bond Explained (00:09:18) The conversation covers trauma bonding, explaining how victims become chemically bonded to their abusers, making it difficult to leave. Dana's Traumatic Childhood (00:10:13) Dana shares her history of being unwanted by her mother and abused by her overtly narcissistic stepfather. From One Abuser to Another (00:13:17) Dana explains how her childhood primed her to fall for her future husband, who offered the attention she craved. The Cycle of Abuse and Love Bombing (00:14:38) Dana describes the cycle of violence followed by promises of love, which kept her hoping for change. The Neuroscience of Abuse (00:20:34) Dana discusses the neuroscience behind trauma bonds, explaining how repeated experiences rewire the brain, making victims believe the abuse is their fault. Defining Narcissism (00:25:39) Dana explains narcissism on a scale, comparing benign narcissists to benign tumors and malignant narcissists to malignant tumors. The Physical Toll of Chronic Stress (00:30:40) Dana details her severe health issues, including an autoimmune disorder and lung syndrome, caused by years of chronic stress. The Turning Point (00:35:14) A neurologist's advice to remove the "toxic" element from her life became the catalyst for Dana's decision to leave. Life After Abuse (00:38:43) Dana shares her incredible post-divorce success, including remarrying, publishing a bestselling trilogy, and finding her purpose. You Don't Need to Understand It to Leave (00:42:49) The speakers discuss reaching a point where understanding the "why" behind the abuse no longer matters; leaving is enough. Misdiagnosed and Medicated (00:49:28) Dana shares how her ex convinced her she was bipolar, leading to a decade of incorrect medication for PTSD. Challenging Social and Religious Pressure (00:53:41) The conversation addresses the societal and religious pressures that often keep women trapped in abusive marriages. The Alarming Statistics of Domestic Violence (01:00:16) Dana shares shocking statistics about the prevalence of intimate partner violence and its fatal consequences for women. Finding Resources and Support (01:02:09) The hosts emphasize that resources and support systems exist to help victims leave, including shelters and pet fostering services. Powerful Quotes from the Episode Dana, 'I'm locked in a house with a man who wants me dead.' Dana 'He loves me, but he's choosing to abuse me. He's choosing to hurt me. He wants me to be in pain. He wants me to suffer. And then by the end of that 25 years, it was, he actually wants me to be dead.' Dana, 'I had been living in fight or flight mode since I was six or seven years old.' 'Dana Diaz', '00:36:38', 'My health, my life was not worth this man that clearly didn't love me.' 'Dana, 'I finally realized that I had to stop living the life that was dictated to me, and live the life that was always in my heart.' RESOURCES: COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlauraYOU'RE NOT CRAZY ebook: GET IT HEREMARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HEREJOIN THE NICE GUY RECOVERY COMMUNITY: https://...
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    1 h et 12 min
  • EP 79: Living in the Aftermath with Lyndsey Hackford: Stories of Survival, Advocacy, and Hope Beyond Abuse

    EP 79: Living in the Aftermath with Lyndsey Hackford: Stories of Survival, Advocacy, and Hope Beyond Abuse
    Apr 29 2026
    In this episode of That's Where I'm At, host Laura speaks with Lyndsey Hackford, a domestic violence survivor, advocate, and host of the podcast Living in the Aftermath. After enduring years of coercive control and abuse that began at just 16 years old, shaped by her strict Mormon upbringing, Lyndsey now uses her voice to shed light on the psychological realities of abuse and why leaving is often far more complex than it seems. Lyndsey shares how her abuser used subtle manipulation to isolate her from dance, family, and her sense of independence, along with the darkest moments of her experience and the challenges she faced within the justice system. Drawing from both lived experience and her advocacy work, she now helps others understand trauma, reclaim their identity, and find meaning and purpose after abuse. Together, Laura and Lyndsey explore the long-term impact of coercive control, the complexities of healing, and the importance of creating honest, supportive spaces for survivors. Through her podcast Living in the Aftermath and her advocacy, Lyndsey continues to educate, empower, and amplify the voices of those navigating life after abuse. Key Topics & Timestamps Guest Introduction (00:01:25) Laura introduces her guest, Lyndsey Hackford, a survivor, advocate, and host of the "Living in the Aftermath" podcast. Meeting the Abuser (00:02:46) Lyndsey shares that she met her abusive ex-partner at the young and naive age of sixteen. Upbringing and Religious Background (00:03:19) Lyndsey describes her strict Mormon upbringing, which taught her to be subservient and not question male authority. Early Isolation Tactics (00:04:58) Lyndsey's abuser convinced her to quit competitive dance, a lifelong passion, framing it as a way to gain independence. The Subtlety of Control (00:07:12) Lyndsey explains how her ex's manipulation didn't seem like isolation at the time, but rather like supportive encouragement. Questioning Authority (00:07:57) Lyndsey and Laura discuss being labeled "difficult" as children for asking questions, especially within high-control religious environments. The Dynamics of Isolation (00:11:30) Lyndsey describes how her ex made family events so uncomfortable that she chose to cut off contact with her family. The Burden of Managing an Abuser (00:15:09) The hosts discuss the exhausting and impossible task of managing an abuser's emotions and making them feel comfortable. Life After Abuse (00:18:46) Lyndsey and Laura talk about the overwhelming but exciting process of rediscovering their own identities after leaving their relationships. Emotional vs. Physical Abuse (00:22:02) Lyndsey emphasizes that the emotional abuse she endured for years was often harder to process than the physical violence. Grieving Someone Who Is Still Alive (00:23:56) The hosts discuss the unique and complex grief of mourning a relationship with an abuser who is still living. A Violent Attack (00:27:29) Lyndsey recounts a brutal physical assault where her ex threw her onto concrete, resulting in a serious head injury. The Danger of Leaving (00:30:05) Lyndsey explains why leaving is the most dangerous time for a survivor, using her own story as a powerful example. The Abuser's Childhood (00:35:38) Lyndsey explains how her ex's traumatic childhood, including being given up by his birth father, shaped his abusive behavior. The First Arrest (00:37:17) Lyndsey details the confusing events leading to her ex's first arrest, which he initiated by calling the police himself. The Aftermath and Final Outcome (00:41:52) Lyndsey shares the journey through the legal system, the divorce, and how her ex eventually gave up parental rights. Becoming an Advocate (00:47:22) Lyndsey explains how she found purpose by sharing her story, speaking at high schools, and starting her own podcast. Powerful Quotes from the Episode Lyndsey, 'The moment you realize that you're not responsible for that other person that you will never please, it is the most relieving feeling on the planet.' Lyndsey, 'I still believe to this day that the emotional stuff I went through was so much harder than anything physical I went through, and I suffered that for so much longer, but didn't even realize it.' Lyndsey, 'It did feel like I was grieving my relationship with him as I was in it, because it felt like I didn't know the person that I was with.' Lyndsey, 'There were so many things that I questioned and I'm like, "Was that real? Did that really happen to me?"' Lyndsey, 'I knew very early on that if I didn't find a purpose for my trauma, it was going to destroy me because it doesn't go away.' RESOURCES: COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura YOU'RE NOT CRAZY, RECLAIMING YOUR SANITY AND SELF-WORTH AFTER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE ebook: laurarichpodcast.gumroad.com/l/notcrazyebook MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/book-store FOLLOW THE PODCAST: http://...
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    53 min
  • EP 78: Healing Hidden Trauma and Finding Your Voice with Christina L. Woods

    EP 78: Healing Hidden Trauma and Finding Your Voice with Christina L. Woods
    Apr 22 2026
    In this episode of That's Where I'm At, host Laura speaks with Christina L. Woods, an internationally recognized Clinical Hypnotherapist, Rapid Transformational Therapist®, Certified High Performance Coach, Reiki Master, author, and founder of Wise Woods Hypnotherapy, Inc. Christina helps women unlock their worth, release limiting beliefs, and align with their authentic selves through her signature Wise Woods Method™, which blends hypnotherapy, coaching, and energy healing. Christina shares her powerful personal journey from a 30-year corporate career to discovering hypnotherapy after her marriage collapsed and her health declined. Drawing from both her professional background and lived experience, she opens up about buried childhood trauma, including sexual abuse she didn't acknowledge until age 50, and how it shaped patterns of people-pleasing, overachievement, and self-sabotage. Together, Laura and Christina explore the power of subconscious beliefs, the role of various healing modalities, and the importance of self-compassion, boundaries, and breaking shame. This episode is a deeply honest and transformative conversation about reclaiming your identity, trusting your inner wisdom, and creating a life that feels aligned, meaningful, and fully your own. Key Topics & Timestamps Guest Introduction & Overview (00:01:33) Laura introduces Christina Woods, her background, and previews the conversation about childhood trauma and healing. Christina's Career Shift & Hypnotherapy Introduction (00:03:17) Christina shares her transition from corporate life to healing work and initial misconceptions about hypnotherapy. Childhood Patterns & Overachievement (00:04:10) Christina discusses how childhood survival strategies led to people-pleasing, overachievement, and stress in adulthood. Therapy & Hypnotherapy Experience (00:05:06) Christina describes her journey into therapy, discovering hypnotherapy, and how it quickly revealed and rewired limiting beliefs. How Beliefs Shape Reality (00:07:04) Explains how subconscious beliefs drive behavior and how hypnotherapy helps rewire them for positive change. Challenging Internal Narratives (00:08:02) Laura and Christina discuss questioning negative self-talk and the importance of forming new, positive neural pathways. Learning, Failing, and Growth (00:11:13) They talk about the value of trying new things, embracing failure, and how the brain grows through new experiences. Impact of Narcissistic Relationships (00:12:27) Laura shares how being with a narcissist stifled her ability to try and fail, leading to self-silencing. Seeking Evidence for Beliefs (00:13:06) Christina explains how people seek evidence to support their strongest beliefs, even if those beliefs are negative or untrue. Paradigm Shifts & Changing Self-Dialogue (00:14:21) Discussion on how changing internal dialogue can shift reality and self-perception. Questioning Thoughts & Ownership (00:15:14) Laura emphasizes that not all thoughts are true and the importance of identifying whose voice is influencing self-perception. Unlearning Old Patterns After Divorce (00:19:26) Laura reflects on the process of unlearning automatic behaviors and discovering her authentic self post-divorce. Making New Thoughts Familiar (00:20:26) Christina explains the brain's resistance to change and the need to make new, positive thoughts familiar through repetition. Childhood Trauma's Impact on Adulthood (00:22:29) Christina shares how buried childhood sexual abuse shaped her self-worth, relationships, and coping mechanisms. The Relief of Facing Trauma (00:27:10) Christina describes the relief and self-compassion that came from acknowledging and processing her trauma. Breaking Shame Through Community (00:30:18) Laura discusses how sharing stories and connecting with others helps break the isolation of shame. Universal Patterns of People-Pleasing (00:32:14) They discuss how many women develop people-pleasing tendencies due to childhood roles and expectations. Subconscious Mind & Hypnotherapy (00:32:53) Christina explains the power of the subconscious mind and how hypnotherapy accesses and rewires it. Healing Modalities After Divorce (00:34:43) Christina lists the various healing methods she used post-divorce, including EMDR, therapy, and energy healing. Journaling as a Healing Tool (00:37:44) Both discuss the power of journaling for processing emotions, tracking growth, and expressing anger safely. Boundaries, Anger, and Self-Abandonment (00:41:40) They explore how anger signals unmet needs, the importance of boundaries, and the tendency to self-abandon. Closing Encouragement & Resources (00:44:55) Christina offers final encouragement that change is possible, and Laura shares where listeners can find Christina and support the podcast. Powerful Quotes from the Episode Christina, 'I have learned things about myself that I believed to be true that aren't even true—beliefs like I'm not good enough and I'm ...
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    47 min
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