Have you ever been told you are "too much"? Or maybe you have been called "high maintenance" just because you deserve basic consistency?

In this episode, we are looking at the trap of the "Cool Guy."

You know the one. He pretends he doesn't care. He accepts the bare minimum. He shrinks himself down so he doesn't scare anyone away.

But here is the truth. Lowering your standards to make someone else comfortable doesn't secure the relationship. It just guarantees you will end up resentful.

We are going to flip the script. Standards aren't barriers that push people away. They are filters that protect your energy.

When someone can't meet your baseline for respect and communication, that is valuable information. It isn't a reason to negotiate yourself down.

It is time to shift from asking "I hope they choose me" to asking "Are they actually good enough for me?"

If you are ready to stop apologising for having needs and want to build the self-respect to hold your standards even when your voice shakes, come and join us.

Head to thefreedomcommunity.com to join other gay men doing this exact work.

Follow me on instagram for daily reminders that luxury goods don't apologise for their price tag.

David

You know that friendship...

The one that has been running on autopilot for years. Maybe you grew up together. Maybe you survived something hard together. But now? You leave every catch-up feeling drained instead of lifted.

Yet you stay.

But here is the hard truth we are tackling in this session. Letting go isn't about being disloyal. It is about being honest with yourself.

We are going to look at the conflict between the part of you that wants to be a "good friend" and the part of you that just wants some peace.

Plus, I am sharing three practical ways to help you:

• Spot the good intention behind your loyalty so you can stop beating yourself up.

• Shift your view from "losing a friend" to simply "making space."

• Visualise the change so you can feel the relief before you even have the conversation.

You don’t have to burn bridges just to build boundaries. But you do have to stop setting yourself on fire to keep everyone else warm.

Let’s keep talking:

If you are ready to stop using compliance to buy safety and want to be in a room with other men doing this exact work, come and join us in The Freedom Community. It is my free coaching space where checking in with yourself becomes automatic.

And for daily reminders that your boundaries aren't selfish, come say hi on Instagram.

David 💚🏳️‍🌈

Kind or Just People-Pleasing? How to Tell the Difference

Someone asks you for something and you feel that familiar pressure building. One part of you knows this doesn't work, but the other part says "good people help, caring people sacrifice." So you agree, rearrange your plans, push your needs aside, and three hours later you're sitting there thinking "I've done it again. I've made myself disappear."

In this episode, I break down why gay men confuse compliance with kindness, and share three practical techniques to tell the difference between genuine generosity and self-erasure. You'll learn how to read your body's signals before you respond, how to make the cost of self-betrayal feel immediate so you can make clearer choices, and how to filter decisions through your actual values instead of your conditioning.

This isn't about becoming selfish or rigid. It's about understanding that disappointing someone else is temporary, but betraying your future self can be permanent.

If you want to learn these techniques with my guidance and break these patterns with other gay men who are done using compliance to buy safety, head to thefreedomcommunity.com to explore my coaching space where checking in with yourself becomes automatic. You can join for free.

Follow me on Instagram for daily reminders that your boundaries aren't selfish, they're sacred.

Other ways to connect:

New: Join my ⁠⁠Telegram Broadcast Channel⁠

YouTube: ⁠⁠David Allison Coach⁠⁠

Website: ⁠⁠DavidAllisonCoach.com⁠