Kind or Just People-Pleasing? How to Tell the Difference

Someone asks you for something and you feel that familiar pressure building. One part of you knows this doesn't work, but the other part says "good people help, caring people sacrifice." So you agree, rearrange your plans, push your needs aside, and three hours later you're sitting there thinking "I've done it again. I've made myself disappear."

In this episode, I break down why gay men confuse compliance with kindness, and share three practical techniques to tell the difference between genuine generosity and self-erasure. You'll learn how to read your body's signals before you respond, how to make the cost of self-betrayal feel immediate so you can make clearer choices, and how to filter decisions through your actual values instead of your conditioning.

This isn't about becoming selfish or rigid. It's about understanding that disappointing someone else is temporary, but betraying your future self can be permanent.

If you want to learn these techniques with my guidance and break these patterns with other gay men who are done using compliance to buy safety, head to thefreedomcommunity.com to explore my coaching space where checking in with yourself becomes automatic. You can join for free.

Follow me on Instagram for daily reminders that your boundaries aren't selfish, they're sacred.

Other ways to connect:

New: Join my ⁠⁠Telegram Broadcast Channel⁠

YouTube: ⁠⁠David Allison Coach⁠⁠

Website: ⁠⁠DavidAllisonCoach.com⁠