Nobody warned you about the rage.

Not the sadness — you expected that. But the anger? The kind that makes you look at a picture of your mom and say *fuck you for leaving me?* That part, nobody talks about.

In this raw, honest solo episode, Nicole Weston opens up about the grief emotion she was least prepared for — the rage that followed her mom's death and refused to move no matter how many books she read, groups she joined, or therapy sessions she attended. Five years out, from a deeply integrated place, Nicole reflects on what that anger was really doing for her, why it's okay to be furious at someone you love who died, and what happens when your inner spark starts to go quiet.

This episode gives you full permission to be exactly where you are — and offers real, practical tools for honoring your anger without letting it define you.

There's not a lot of spaces where you can openly talk about how angry you are at your dead mom. I'm the one that's living. I'm the one going through the emotions. And if I don't move it, it's going to move me" - Nicole Weston

In This Episode

- Why Nicole was blindsided by the intensity of her grief rage — even as a trained coach who teaches emotional processing every day

- The second year: why it hit harder than the first, and how perfectionism made it worse

- What to do when the books, groups, and therapy aren't moving the anger

- How survival mode creeps in slowly — and how your spark starts to go out without you noticing

- Why being angry at your mom for dying is not a character flaw — it is love with nowhere to go

- The moment Nicole realized: *thank you, rage. You kept me alive.

- Practical tools to release anger safely, without judgment

- Why your emotional map is one of the most powerful tools you have in grief

Connect with Nicole

Website: www.nicoleweston.ca

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/thenicoleweston/

Connection Call: https://nicoleweston.as.me/connection

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About Nicole Weston

Nicole Weston is a transformational life coach, trained social worker, podcast host, and Quantum Change Process™ practitioner. She works with women navigating grief, motherhood, and major life transitions — helping them move from survival mode into integration, so they can lead their families, businesses, and communities from a place of wholeness. She is a motherless mother, a wife, a business owner, and she built this podcast because she couldn't find the community she needed — so she created it.

Can't Call Your Mom is a movement for women who refuse to grieve quietly, and who refuse to choose between healing and ambition.*

New episodes every week.

You’re the strong one. The capable one. The one everyone comes to. And when your mom dies, you expect yourself to handle it. After all, you handle everything.

But what happens when grief doesn’t cooperate with your identity? When the woman who holds it all for everyone else finds herself completely lost, sitting at the bottom of a depth she didn’t know existed—and doesn’t know how to climb out?

In this first guest episode of Can’t Call Your Mom, Nicole sits down with Nikki, a fellow mom, entrepreneur, and motherless daughter who navigated two devastating losses in back-to-back years—her mom to dementia in 2019, and her brother the following year. What emerged from that season was a reckoning with anger, identity, the raw logistics of death, the darkness she never saw coming, and ultimately, a slow and honest return to herself.

This conversation is raw, real, and full of the kind of moments that make you feel less alone at 2am.

• [03:15] The lesson Nikki’s mom gave her without knowing it: do things scared. How a fearless-looking woman was actually afraid of everything—and pushed through anyway.

• [07:45] Losing her mom AND her brother in back-to-back years—and what it means to be in survival mode before you’ve even started grieving.

• [10:00] The business of death: the U-Haul, the executor duties, the selling of her mom’s house—and why none of us are prepared for the logistics of loss.

• [13:20] The moment the anger hit: “Mom, you didn’t teach me how to grieve. You didn’t teach me how to do this part without you.”

• [18:30] How buying a horse became a return to herself—sitting in the field, a book in hand, six months to simply be sad.

• [24:50] The darkness nobody talks about: “I didn’t know I was capable of having dark thoughts… and that was terrifying to me.”

• [32:20] The identity crisis of the strong woman who judges herself for struggling. The self-judgment. The anger turned inward.

• [40:00] Why there is no timeline for grief—and what Nikki’s journey back to herself actually looked like (it took until 2025).

• [48:00] The moment her spark started coming back: glimmers, dark humor, and learning to use “nobody died today” as a barometer.

• [52:00] Sitting with her mom’s body, holding her hand for two hours, and witnessing the colors in the room shift as her mom’s soul left. Soul-to-soul.

• [55:00] If you could call your mom today, what would you say? Nikki’s answer: thank you.

Nicki is a women’s self worth and freedom facilitator. She teaches women to put themselves first, especially after a major life event like loss or a divorce. She empowers women to be brave, break free from limiting beliefs, set healthy boundaries, and rediscover their worth. Nicki’s mission is to help women not just survive big things, but use them as a catalyst for growth, healing, and lasting empowerment. She is passionate about helping women move from self doubt and disconnection to clarity, self trust, and real internal power. She is a certified root cause therapy practitioner and uses this to help women reveal and release limiting beliefs and regulate their nervous systems. Her work is about real change, grounded in action, power, and possibility,

Website: www.healingufirstcoaching.com

Nikki helps women rebuild their lives after divorce and big life changes. If today’s episode spoke to you, she’d love to connect.

About Nicole

Nicole Weston is a transformational Life Coach, Quantum Change Process™ practitioner, and the founder of Can't Call Your Mom. She is also a mom, a wife, a business owner, and a motherless mother, a woman who has done the deep work of integrating grief and ambition, and who now walks other women through that same transformation.

Resources & Links

• Connect with Nicole on Instagram: @thenicoleweston

• Join our community channel CCYM Inner Circle

• Have a story to share? Apply here

• Book a free connection call:

• Share this episode with a woman in your life who needs to hear it

Some episodes ask big questions. This one just slows everything down.

Episode 2 of Can't Call Your Mom is a love note — to you, to your inner child, and to your mom. Nicole opens with something simple and profound: grief needs to be witnessed. Not fixed. Not rushed. Witnessed.

In this softer, more intimate episode, Nicole shares the healing practice of expression — why saying the things out loud, in a journal, in a voice note, or to a trusted witness, is one of the most powerful tools we have on this grief journey. She also does something deeply vulnerable: she calls her mom. She leaves her a voicemail — live, unscripted, from the heart — and invites you to do the same.

This episode is permission. Permission to slow down. To say the things you are still carrying. To let yourself be seen — not as someone who has it figured out, but as someone who loved deeply and is still loving through the loss.

• Why grief needs witnesses — not solutions — and how to ask for that from the people you trust

• The power of expression: journaling, voice notes, and verbally processing your grief as a tool for healing

• Nicole's story of standing in line at Life Labs alone during fertility testing — and the moment her mom's name was called

• The complicated experience of receiving signs from the other side — and why those moments can be both comforting and heartbreaking, especially in the early years

• Nicole's live, unscripted voicemail to her mom — raw, real, and full of love

• What it means to be a generational cycle breaker — and how grief is teaching her family to do love differently

• The invitation: what do you need to say to your mom that you haven't yet?

• The closing reminder: you are not failing. Your heart is healing.

"Grief doesn't need an audience — but it does get lighter when we witness it and hold it together. Those two powerful words: me too. I feel that. You're not alone in this. That's when healing happens." — Nicole Weston

If there are things you wish you could still say to your mom, Nicole invites you to say them anyway. Write them in a journal. Record a voice note in your notes app. Say them out loud in the car. Let the words exist somewhere — because sometimes the most healing thing we can do is say them, even now.

If you're open to sharing, send Nicole a voice note. She may read or play it in a future episode. Your words might be exactly what another woman needs to hear.

About Nicole

Nicole Weston is a transformational Life Coach, Quantum Change Process™ practitioner, and the founder of Can't Call Your Mom. She is also a mom, a wife, a business owner, and a motherless mother, a woman who has done the deep work of integrating grief and ambition, and who now walks other women through that same transformation.

Resources & Links

• Connect with Nicole on Instagram: @thenicoleweston

• Join our community channel CCYM Inner Circle

• Have a story to share? Apply here

• Book a free connection call:

• Share this episode with a woman in your life who needs to hear it

Subscribe wherever you listen, leave a review, and share this episode with a woman in your life who is still carrying things she never got to say. You know someone who needs this.

Produced by Nicole Weston & Co-Produced Hunter Blackett

Audio Editor & Mixer: Hunter Blackett