To mark 50,000 subscribers, I went through your comments and answered 30 real questions from husbands and wives: sexless marriage, desire, rejection, menopause, porn, attraction, pressure, and whether intimacy can actually come back.

I've alternated them, one from a man, one from a woman, to show both sides of the story.

👉 Want to work through this with someone? Book online therapy with me or my team: https://laurahow.com/online-therapists/

👉 Join the Good Wife Club (women-only community, monthly live with me): https://laurahow.com/good-wife-club/

👉 Join the Good Husband Club (men-only community, monthly live with me): https://laurahow.com/good-husband-club/

A note before you watch: these are short answers to big questions, based on the little I know from each comment. They are not individual therapy, and they are not advice for abusive or coercive relationships.

Thank you for 50,000. It's beyond anything I imagined when we started.

⏱️ Timestamps:

00:00 — Who is Laura How?

01:08 — How much sex is normal in marriage?

01:57 — Keeping lust alive after 20 years

02:25 — Married or just roommates?

03:07 — Lonely in marriage for 23 years

04:22 — Is sex a need in marriage?

05:44 — Why does sex feel like a chore?

06:14 — Do sexually generous women exist?

06:48 — When a wife has no desire

07:40 — Sex without emotional engagement

08:05 — He expects sex without effort

09:36 — Getting your wife to watch these videos

10:19 — Low libido and saving your marriage

12:05 — Asking for sex or pressuring?

13:19 — Guilted into sex by your husband

14:19 — Walking on eggshells in marriage

15:24 — "He only wants me for sex"

16:03 — Painful sex after menopause

17:04 — Convincing your wife to try HRT

17:56 — Body image and intimacy

18:41 — Losing attraction to your wife

20:31 — When the husband doesn't want sex

21:54 — "She told me to look outside the marriage"

23:10 — Porn and OnlyFans in marriage

24:04 — She won't work through her trauma

25:05 — Can a sexless marriage be fixed?

26:44 — Trapped and afraid to divorce

28:27 — Erectile dysfunction and intimacy

29:23 — Is a sexless marriage bad for wives too?

31:19 — The Good Wife Club and Good Husband Club

32:30 — Thank you for 50,000

👉 One-Day Couples Intensive (for stuck or sexless marriages): https://laurahow.com/1-day-couples-intensive/

💬 Let me know in the comments: what question should I answer next?

🔗 Follow me for more:

Facebook → https://www.facebook.com/laurahowcounsellor

Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/laurahow/

X (Twitter) → https://x.com/laurahow

📌 Hashtags #SexlessMarriage #MarriageAdvice #RelationshipTherapist

When your wife says she “doesn’t feel safe,” it might sound like an accusation. What does that even mean, and how is it your fault when you’ve worked hard to provide? In this team episode, Marijke, Zac and I unpack what safety actually means for women and for men, why it affects desire, and how two people who love each other end up feeling unsafe with the one person who’s meant to be home. 👉 Book online sessions with Zac or Marijke: https://laurahow.com/online-therapists/

In this episode, we discuss:

✔️ Why women carry a constant, low-level scan for safety — and how it follows them into the bedroom

✔️ “Diffuse awareness” vs single focus — why a loud, messy, overwhelming environment can switch desire off

✔️ How men signal stress as aggression or brooding — and why it can feel frightening even when nothing is wrong

✔️ The archetypal homecoming row — “What’s wrong with you?” — and the argument that ends any chance of sex

✔️ Why women read men better than men read themselves — and the energy you carry through the door

✔️ What men actually hear in “I don’t feel safe” — and why it lands like an attack

✔️ Gottman’s love map — why sharing your day is for the relationship, not just for you

✔️ Pokes vs strokes — and the five-to-one ratio that keeps a marriage warm

✔️ The power of specific praise — and why “you’re amazing” means nothing

✔️ “I love you” vs “Do you like me?” — the question that changes everything

✔️ The double bind of wanting to feel liked while withholding the very thing he needs

✔️ Laying down the sword — why real intimacy takes courage, vulnerability and surrender

We record this monthly — we’d love to hear from you.

👉 Leave your questions in the comments for the next episode.

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💎 More ways to connect and grow:

💠 Therapists — Work with me: https://laurahow.com/work-for-me/

💠 Join my newsletter: https://laurahow.com/newsletter-signup/

💠 Support my work: https://laurahow.com/support/

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📲 Follow me:

Instagram → / laurahow

Facebook → / laurahowcounsellor

Twitter (X) → / laurahow

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⌚️ Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction

00:14 What Does Safety Mean in a Relationship?

00:39 Why Women Experience Safety Differently

02:51 How Men Express Unhappiness (And Why It Feels Unsafe)

04:35 Women's Emotional Radar — An Evolutionary Advantage

06:18 The Jumper Story: A Case Study in Miscommunication

09:05 The Core Difference: Sex vs. Emotional Connection

11:28 The Power of Specific Compliments

13:34 The Double Bind: Withholding Sex & Affection

15:19 Why Women Can't "Just Switch Off" Their Minds

17:47 The Beautiful Potential: What Men & Women Teach Each Other

20:47 Laying Down the Sword — The Courage of Vulnerability

22:45 Changing Deep-Seated Patterns Takes Real Work

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📌 Hashtags #SexlessMarriage #EmotionalSafety #MarriageAdvice #CouplesTherapy #RelationshipAdvice #MarriageCounselling #IntimacyInMarriage #LauraHow #FeelingSafe #LoveAndCherishPodcast

If you've noticed your sex life decline after having children, you're not alone. In this team episode we talk honestly about why intimacy after baby is one of the biggest threats to a marriage, what drives resentment between partners in the newborn phase, and what couples can actually do to reconnect sexually before distance becomes the default.👉 Book online sessions with Zac or Marijke: https://laurahow.com/online-therapists/

Having a baby is one of the most beautiful things a couple can do together, and one of the most threatening to their sexual bond. We explore why the arrival of children so often becomes the beginning of the end for intimacy, and what it actually takes to choose each other through it.

👉 Book a session with Zac: https://laurahow.com/therapists-zac-fine/

👉 Book a session with Marijke: https://laurahow.com/therapists-marijke-roberts/

In this episode, we discuss:

✔️ Why new parenthood can become the beginning of the end for intimacy

✔️ The resentment trap — and why both partners fall into it

✔️ How porn fills the gap when men check out instead of leaning in

✔️ The "crucible" — why crisis is the perfect ingredient for transformation

✔️ Why reclaiming your sexuality after babies is an act of courage

✔️ How Russ made Laura his muse and what that looked like in practice

✔️ The danger of anti-marriage messaging and the friends who normalise it

✔️ Why a sexy, stable marriage is the greatest gift you can give your children

✔️ Maturity, choice, and why parenthood removes every excuse not to show up

We record this monthly — we'd love to hear from you.

👉 Leave your questions in the comments for the next episode.

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🔔 Subscribe for monthly conversations about: sexless marriages, intimacy after children, responsive desire, resentment and repair, and what it really takes to keep a marriage alive long-term.

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🧠 Need support? Work with me or one of the therapists on my team: https://laurahow.com/online-therapists/

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💎 More ways to connect and grow:

💠 Therapists — Work with me: https://laurahow.com/work-for-me/

💠 Join my newsletter: https://laurahow.com/newsletter-signup/

💠 Support my work: https://laurahow.com/support/

📲 Follow me:

Instagram → / laurahow

Facebook → / laurahowcounsellor

Twitter (X) → / laurahow

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⌚️ Timestamps:

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📌 Hashtags #SexlessMarriage #IntimacyAfterBaby #MarriageAdvice #CouplesTherapy #RelationshipAdvice #MarriageCounselling #IntimacyInMarriage #LauraHow #ParenthoodAndSex #LoveAndCherishPodcast

“Feminism has always been a force for good and equality.” Is that really the full story? In this conversation with philosopher and author Carrie Gress, we explore how feminist ideas have shaped modern relationships, and why many men and women are now questioning the narrative they were raised to believe. 👉 Book an online session: https://laurahow.com/online-therapists/

Carrie Gress, Catholic philosopher, author of The End of Woman and co-creator of Theology of Home, joins me for a direct and thoughtful discussion about the deeper impact of feminist ideology on marriage, family life, and how men and women now relate to each other.

We talk about the growing divide between the sexes, the loss of trust, and the quiet confusion many people feel but struggle to name. From rising mental health concerns to the breakdown of shared meaning in relationships, this conversation looks at what’s changed, and what it’s costing us.

We also explore ideas that are rarely spoken about openly, including the concept of “toxic femininity,” the devaluing of motherhood, and why conversations about men’s needs are often met with resistance.

This is not about blaming one side. It’s about understanding what has gone wrong, and what needs to be rebuilt.

In this episode:

✔️ Why many people are starting to question feminism’s impact on relationships

✔️ The growing mistrust between men and women

✔️ Mental health struggles in both sexes, and what’s driving them

✔️ Why “toxic femininity” is rarely discussed

✔️ The devaluing of motherhood and its wider consequences

✔️ Why talking about men’s needs creates backlash

✔️ The impact on children and future family life

✔️ How modern culture shapes how we see each other

✔️ Why restoring trust between men and women matters

✔️ What a more grounded, family-centred life could look like

👉 Find Carrie Gress:

• Website: https://www.carriegress.com/

• Theology of Home: https://theologyofhome.com/

• Bio: https://www.carriegress.com/about

💬 Let me know in the comments: Do you think feminism has helped or harmed modern relationships? What are you seeing in your own life?

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🔔 Subscribe for conversations that challenge mainstream narratives about marriage, men, women, and what really creates lasting connection:

👉 https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCE_Fs1wPifrghIGdSzsbrKg?sub_confirmation=1

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🧠 Need support? Work with me or a therapist on my team:

https://laurahow.com/online-therapists/

One-Day Couples Intensive (crisis support):

https://laurahow.com/1-day-couples-intensive/

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

💎 More ways to connect & grow

Therapists, work with me → https://laurahow.com/work-for-me/

Join my newsletter → https://laurahow.com/newsletter-signup/

Support my work → https://laurahow.com/support/

Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/laurahow/

Facebook → https://www.facebook.com/laurahowcounsellor

X (Twitter) → https://twitter.com/laurahow

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⌚ Timestamps

[Add after editing]

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📌 Hashtags

#Feminism #MarriageAdvice #MensIssues #CouplesTherapy #RelationshipAdvice #CarrieGress #MarriageCounselling #IntimacyInMarriage #LauraHow #TheologyOfHome #

"The Future is Female." But where does that leave our sons? In this conversation with George from The Tin Men, we examine the silent crisis facing men and boys, the institutional bias in our schools and courts, and why society seems to have lost its compassion for male suffering.👉 Book an online session: https://laurahow.com/online-therapists/

George, the creator behind The Tin Men, joins me for a critical look at how modern narratives are failing a generation of young men. From classrooms where boys are subjected to "misogyny training" and viewed as potential threats, to family courts that presume fathers are second-class parents, we explore how these systemic biases are destroying lives.

We discuss the devastating data on male suicide, the widening education gap, and why standing up for boys has become a revolutionary act.

In this episode:

✔️ The "War on Boys" in education: Why boys are falling behind

✔️ "Misogyny Training": How schools are teaching boys self-loathing

✔️ The "Violent Male" Myth and its impact on Family Court

✔️ Why society struggles to feel empathy for men

✔️ The link between relationship breakdown and male suicide

✔️ Institutional bias: Is the system rigged against fathers?

✔️ How to protect your sons from toxic narratives

✔️ Why "The Future is Female" is a dangerous slogan

✔️ The importance of male advocates like The Tin Men

✔️ How we can build a future that values both sexes

👉 Find The Tin Men:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetinmen/

Blog: https://thetinmen.blog/

💬 Let me know in the comments: Do you think schools and society are biased against boys? What changes have you noticed?

🔔 Subscribe for conversations that challenge mainstream narratives about marriage, men, women, and what really creates lasting connection:

👉 https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCE_Fs1wPifrghIGdSzsbrKg?sub_confirmation=1

🧠 Need support? Work with me or a therapist on my team: https://laurahow.com/online-therapists/

One-Day Couples Intensive (crisis support): https://laurahow.com/1-day-couples-intensive/

💎 More ways to connect & grow

Therapists, work with me → https://laurahow.com/work-for-me/

Join my newsletter → https://laurahow.com/newsletter-signup/

Support my work → https://laurahow.com/support/

Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/laurahow/

Facebook → https://www.facebook.com/laurahowcounsellor

X (Twitter) → https://twitter.com/laurahow

⌚ Timestamps

📌 Hashtags #TheTinMen #MensMentalHealth #WarOnBoys #FamilyCourt #Feminism #LauraHow #EducationGap #MensRights #FathersRights #Masculinity #SystemicBias #BoysCrisis

I'm joined by two therapists from my practice, Zac Fine and Marijke Roberts, for the second episode of our monthly series exploring how to restore sacred connection in long-term relationships.👉 Book online sessions with Zac or Marijke: https://laurahow.com/online-therapists/

When intimacy becomes mechanical or disappears entirely, couples lose more than just sex, they lose sacred space together. We discuss how to move beyond "getting the deed done" and rediscover intimacy as a profound, connected experience that honours both partners.

👉 Book a session with Zac: https://laurahow.com/therapists-zac-fine/

👉 Book a session with Marijke: https://laurahow.com/therapists-marijke-roberts/

In this episode, we discuss:

✔️ Why sacred intimacy matters more than mechanical sex

✔️ Creating liminal space—ritual moments outside everyday life

✔️ Moving from "I want sex" to "I want connection with you"

✔️ Simple practices: eye contact, attuned breathing, mindful touch

✔️ The "Kings and Queens" exercise for asking and receiving

✔️ How porn culture has replaced sacred sexuality with performance

✔️ Responsive desire and why women often need different pathways to arousal

✔️ Attachment wounds that block intimacy and how to heal them

✔️ Turning conflict into curiosity when one partner withdraws

✔️ Why recovery is slow, human-paced work, not a quick fix

We'll be recording this podcast monthly, and we'd love to hear from you.

👉 Leave your questions in the comments for the next episode.

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🔔 Subscribe for monthly conversations about:

Sacred intimacy, sexless marriages, creating connection, responsive desire, attachment healing, and rediscovering meaningful sex in long-term relationships.

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🧠 Need support? Work with me or one of the therapists on my team:

https://laurahow.com/online-therapists/

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

💎 More ways to connect and grow:

💠 Therapists — Work with me: https://laurahow.com/work-for-me/

💠 Join my newsletter: https://laurahow.com/newsletter-signup/

💠 Support my work: https://laurahow.com/support/

📲 Follow me:

Instagram → / laurahow

Facebook → / laurahowcounsellor

Twitter (X) → / laurahow

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⌚️ Timestamps:

0:00 - Introduction: Welcome to Love and Cherish Podcast

0:23 - Why Men Want Enthusiastic Partners: The Deep Need to Feel Wanted

1:57 - Creating Sacred Spaces for Intimacy: Moving Beyond Mechanical Sex

6:22 - Practical Connection Exercises: Eye Contact, Breathing, and Touch

10:48 - Learning to Listen to Your Body Instead of External Advice

13:56 - Kings and Queens Exercise: Taking Turns Asking for What You Want

16:32 - Getting Curious About Resistance: Why Intimacy Feels Hard

19:29 - Personal Story: Understanding Shame and Childhood Wounds in Relationships

24:26 - Attachment Theory and Healing: Moving Toward Secure Relationships

26:05 - Closing Thoughts: Embracing the Slow Process of Growth

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📌 Hashtags:

#SacredIntimacy #SexlessMarriage #IntimacyInMarriage #MakingLove #ResponsiveDesire #LiminalSpace #AttachmentHealing #MarriageTherapy #LoveAndCherishPodcast #ConnectionOverSex #MindfulIntimacy

"Feminism has always been a force for good and equality." Is that really true? In this conversation with retired Professor Janice Fiamengo, we examine feminism's actual origins, its pervasive influence on modern relationships, and why so many men and women are waking up to a very different reality than what we've been told. 👉 Book an online session: https://laurahow.com/online-therapists/

Professor Janice Fiamengo, creator of The Fiamengo Files video series and author of Sons of Feminism, joins me for an unflinching look at how feminist ideology has shaped our attitudes toward men, marriage, and family life. From classrooms teaching children that men are the problem, to therapy rooms filled with women who've been taught to fear and distrust their husbands, we explore how these ideas have taken root and what the cost has been to both sexes.

This conversation challenges the narrative that feminism's only critics are those who hate women or want to deny them opportunities. Instead, we examine the historical record, question why certain perspectives have been suppressed, and ask what happens to societies that tell men they don't matter.

In this episode:

✔️ Why feminism was never really about equality (the historical evidence)

✔️ How anti-male messaging appears everywhere (schools, therapy, media)

✔️ The victim mentality and why it's so appealing (and so destructive)

✔️ What happens when women lose faith in men

✔️ The natural order of family life and why it matters

✔️ How to recognize feminist ideology in your own thinking

✔️ Why restoring faith between the sexes is essential

✔️ The good news: men don't actually want to harm women

✔️ What a life centered on family and gratitude actually looks like

✔️ Why psychological problems shouldn't be blamed on an entire sex

👉 Find Janice Fiamengo:

• The Fiamengo Files (YouTube): https://www.youtube.com/@StudioBrule

• Substack: https://fiamengofile.substack.com/

• Book: Sons of Feminism: https://amzn.to/3Zf2DBZ

💬 Let me know in the comments: Has feminist ideology affected your view of men or marriage? What's your experience been?

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🔔 Subscribe for conversations that challenge mainstream narratives about marriage, men, women, and what really creates lasting connection:

👉 https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCE_Fs1wPifrghIGdSzsbrKg?sub_confirmation=1

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

🧠 Need support? Work with me or a therapist on my team:

https://laurahow.com/online-therapists/

One-Day Couples Intensive (crisis support):

https://laurahow.com/1-day-couples-intensive/

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

💎 More ways to connect & grow

Therapists, work with me → https://laurahow.com/work-for-me/

Join my newsletter → https://laurahow.com/newsletter-signup/

Support my work → https://laurahow.com/support/

Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/laurahow/

Facebook → https://www.facebook.com/laurahowcounsellor

X (Twitter) → https://twitter.com/laurahow

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⌚ Timestamps

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📌 Hashtags

#Feminism #MarriageAdvice #MensIssues #CouplesTherapy #RelationshipAdvice #JaniceFiamengo #MarriageCounselling #IntimacyInMarriage #LauraHow #FiamengoFiles #TraditionalMarriage #FamilyLife