Want to submit questions? Email us at hello@carlandlaura.com

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In this raw episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura tackle five questions most couples are too afraid to say out loud: Is watching pornographic Instagram accounts cheating? What do you do when your husband's porn addiction has shut down your sex life completely? How do you find a godly partner after everything you've been through? Is your wife overreacting after an emotional affair – and can you even ask that? And does it really take this long to be fully honest after betrayal?

The answer to all of them will challenge everything you think you know about loyalty, intimacy, and what real honesty actually costs.

Drawing from 23 years of marriage and their own journey through betrayal, Carl and Laura expose an uncomfortable truth: most couples aren't fighting about the wrong things. They're avoiding the right conversation entirely. Whether it's a husband defending his Instagram habits, a wife starving for physical closeness while her husband battles porn-induced erectile dysfunction, or a betrayed spouse wondering if her reaction is too much – the pattern is always the same. Clarity gets delayed. Pain gets prolonged. And both people slowly stop trusting.

Laura shares what it's like to carry shame you didn't earn, and why a wife's confidence has nothing to do with her husband's addiction. Carl delivers the message most betraying spouses need to hear: you don't get to decide what your partner can handle. Full disclosure isn't a punishment. It's the only road back.

From the "If it's not a big deal, stop doing it" challenge that silences every deflection, to why two weeks is approximately enough time to finish a Netflix show – not repair a marriage – to the 24-hour honesty rule that rebuilt theirs, this episode delivers practical truth for anyone willing to stop surviving and start connecting.

This episode will challenge any couple still negotiating how much truth is enough.

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Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/

Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/

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Supported by God Behind Bars https://godbehindbars.com

Supported by Plana https://plana.org/

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Want to submit questions? Email us at hello@carlandlaura.com

In this raw episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura do something brand new: they open the inbox and answer real questions from real people navigating the hardest seasons of their marriages. No scripts. No filter. Just honest, experience-backed responses to the emails and DMs that have been flooding in for years.

Drawing from 23 years of marriage and their own journey through betrayal, rebuilding, and recovery, Carl and Laura tackle four gut-wrenching listener questions—and don't hold back. From a wife whose husband is weaponizing scripture after years of infidelity, to a man whose wife refuses to cut off the affair partner, to a woman whose unfaithful husband expects love after doing the bare minimum—this episode exposes the patterns that keep broken marriages stuck and the truths that set people free.

Laura shares the exact daily check-in framework—physically, emotionally, spiritually, and sexually—that became a cornerstone of their rebuilding process, including the words that were completely off the table. Carl delivers the standard every betrayer needs to hear: not cheating anymore doesn't earn you credit. That's the minimum. The minimum is over and above.

From why "God hates divorce" is not a weapon, to the "two truths" tool that has carried Laura through five years of healing, to why consistency over years matters more than heroic effort over months—this episode delivers the kind of counsel most people can't find anywhere else.

This episode will challenge anyone who believes change is proven by words instead of time, fruit, and evidence.

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Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/

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Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/

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Supported by Plana https://plana.org/

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Supported by God Behind Bars https://godbehindbars.com

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CHAPTERS:

00:00 We're Doing Something New

02:17 What Are Daily Check-Ins After Betrayal?

05:58 The Words We Banned From Our Check-Ins

09:30 When Should Reconciliation Stop Being An Option?

13:04 How Do You Actually Know Someone Has Changed?

17:06 God Behind Bars Partnership

17:39 Should Contact With The Affair Partner Be Cut Off?

23:40 Feelings Don't Lead – Principles Do

25:41 My Husband Isn't Going Above And Beyond

30:11 Plana Partnership

30:33 Is There Hope For Change After Betrayal?

35:43 The Two Truths Tool That Changed Everything

39:18 Consistency Is The Only Proof That Matters

46:54 Final Thoughts: Nobody Is Too Far Gone

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Want to submit questions? Email us at hello@carlandlaura.com

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In this raw episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura tackle the question most couples never ask out loud: Do I even know what I need anymore? And have I actually told them? The answer will challenge everything you think you know about needs, resentment, and why so many marriages slowly drift apart.

Drawing from 23 years of marriage and their own journey of rebuilding after Laura couldn't name a single personal need for months, Carl and Laura expose an uncomfortable truth: couples don't fail because they have needs. They fail because needs go unspoken, then assumed, then resented. And that quiet drift is destroying more marriages than any loud fight ever could.

Laura shares what it took to finally identify her own needs after years of putting everyone else first and why it took months before she felt safe enough to voice them. Carl delivers the challenge most husbands avoid: if you're waiting for your wife to validate you but you haven't validated yourself, you're handing her a weight nobody was meant to carry.

From why your needs must be updated like an iPhone, to the definition of validation that changes everything, to why withholding encouragement from your spouse leaves them vulnerable to hear it from someone else, this episode delivers practical truths for couples who want to stop assuming and start connecting.

This episode will challenge any marriage that's been running on old information while wondering why nothing feels right anymore.

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Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/

Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/

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Supported by Plana https://plana.org/

Supported by God Behind Bars https://godbehindbars.com

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CHAPTERS:

00:00 Am I Too Needy? Maybe That's The Point

01:16 Why "You Complete Me" Is A Terrible Operating System

03:34 Half Your Fights Are Really About This

05:00 Your Needs Must Be Updated Like An iPhone

07:12 Couples Don't Fail Because Of Needs

09:22 Laura Couldn't Name A Single Need For Months

11:51 God Behind Bars Partnership

13:07 Own Your Needs First Then Share The Remainder

19:23 How Do We Handle The Need For Validation

19:54 Plana Partnership

22:45 Why A Wife's Voice Is Uniquely Powerful

27:10 The Connection Between Empty Tanks And Affairs

31:37 Final Thoughts: Become The Needy Couple

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.