Hey Lifers!

Welcome back to Ask Uncut, where we answer your deepest, darkest and most burning questions!

Laura reveals something she’s been noticing lately (and no it’s not Britt’s baby boobs) and we want to know if anyone else has heard it…

Vibes of the week:

Britt – Believe Me, the four-part British true crime drama about London’s black cab driver case and the women who weren’t believed. It’s free on ABC iview. (Heads up: it deals with sexual assault, so please skip it if that’s not something you’re in the space for.)

Laura – Stone Bridge Frames, the walnut photo booth strip frames that have finally rescued the family photo strips from the fridge.

Then it’s into your questions!

Q1: CAN I STAY FRIENDS WITH MY EX’S FAMILY?

My ex-fiancé and I were together from when I was 16 until 29. It was a long and very messy breakup. Years later I found my penguin. We’re engaged and have two beautiful children. My ex’s sister and sister-in-law have stayed in my life and they are genuinely my friends. We see each other regularly and our kids have playdates. I’m completely over my ex, and my fiancé has no issue with these friendships. But I’ve always drawn the line at birthday parties or events where my ex and his parents will be, out of respect for him and his new girlfriend. It’s now been more than seven years and I wonder if I’m unnecessarily removing myself from events I’d really like to attend. We’ve just been invited to a big birthday party and I genuinely want to go. Is that crossing a line?

Q2: SHE’S NOT AS ATTRACTIVE AS I’D LIKE. DO I TELL HER?

I’ve been seeing this girl as a friends with benefits for about six months, but it’s getting more serious. We spend whole weeks together and we’re about to meet each other’s families. She’s a great chick, we’re extremely compatible in bed, she gives me very little drama and we click. The issue is she’s not as attractive as I like, and I’m a little embarrassed by it. I can’t see myself giving her the relationship she wants because I’m just not attracted to her the way she is to me. Do I tell her this and break her heart? Do I make up another reason to break up with her? Do I keep her discreet forever? Or do I keep this one running in the background while I “try others out”?

(This one came into the Facebook group. We didn’t publish it, he’s no longer a member, and we have THOUGHTS.)

Q3: MY BOYFRIEND STILL SLEEPS WITH HIS BLANKIE

I’ve been with my boyfriend for four years. About three months in, he revealed a blankie he keeps in his bed, that his mum gave him when he was a baby. At first I didn’t care that much, but four years on I wonder at what age he decides he doesn’t need it anymore. He says it calms him down and he looks for it every night. For extra context: he only washes it every few months, and he has a smaller version that he once gave to me when I was having a bad night. I have not touched it since, lol. When will the time be up?

Q4: MY FRIEND MARRIED HER FIRST BOYFRIEND AND NOW SHE’S WONDERING “WHAT IF?”

My friend has been with her now-husband since she was 18. He was her first serious relationship, her first sexual partner, and her first and only boyfriend. They’ve been married almost four years and she loves him dearly. Recently, out of the blue, a guy she flirted with when she was 18 messaged her. Nothing ever happened between them, but his messages have become increasingly flirty and he’s said things like “I miss you so much”. It’s really gotten into her head. What if she’d explored more before settling down? What has she missed by only ever being with one person? She hasn’t cheated and doesn’t want to throw away her marriage over a fantasy, but she knows continuing these conversations could cross a line, and that scares her. What should she do?

TIMESTAMPS

0:00 — Intro: Britt’s half up half down era (and why she says “becwase”)
4:11 — Vibes of the week: Believe Me & photo booth frames
9:19 — Q1: Can I stay friends with my ex’s family?
15:47 — Q2: She’s not as attractive as I’d like. Do I tell her?
22:07 — Q3: My boyfriend still sleeps with his blankie
32:25 — Q4: My friend married her first boyfriend and now she’s wondering “what if?”

Want more? There’s a bonus ep waiting for you over on [Patreon / Life Unlocked], recorded moments after Britt shared her big news with Laura.

If we answered your question, we want the aftermath! Let us know what happens.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey Lifers! Welcome to Offcuts, your little weekend schneck!

First up, we go behind the scenes of last week's pregnancy announcement, including how it actually went down on camera, who was in on the secret ahead of time, and why Laura completely zoned out and missed the whole thing live (we promise it's funnier than it sounds).

Then, a viral video from Bundaberg, Queensland has taken over the internet: a giant inflatable nutcracker Christmas decoration malfunctioned in the most unfortunate way possible, the council issued an actual apology, and we debate whether it's too early for Christmas decorations full stop.

We also get into a new study claiming 80% of people lie at least once every ten minutes, and unpack the difference between harmless white lies, embellishment, and full blown dishonesty.

Then, two new relationship theories we can't stop thinking about: the Meet Them Twice Theory (if someone's truly meant for you, the universe will bring them back) and the Rockstar Theory (every relationship needs one rock and one star to thrive). We share our own stories, including Laura's very real "meet them twice" moment with Matt, and debate whether these theories actually hold up.

Slide into the Life Uncut DMs at @lifeuncutpodcast on Instagram

Join us on Patreon for exclusive content and bonus episodes

You can watch us on Youtube

Join us on tiktok

Or join the Facebook Discussion Group

Hosted by Britt Hockley & Laura Byrne

Produced by Lachy Pugsley

Video Produced by Lachy Pugsley & Vanessa Beckford

Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! Xx

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Content warning: This episode discusses postpartum psychosis, suicide and the death of children. If that's not something you're in the space to hear right now, please skip this one and look after yourself. Support services are listed at the bottom of these notes.

Hey Lifers. Today's episode is a heavier one, and it's a little different to our usual Friday chats.

So many of you have been following the Lindsay Clancy case, and it's come up again and again in the discussion group. Lindsay is the Massachusetts mum charged with the murder of her three young children in January 2023. Her trial ended in a mistrial in September after the jury couldn't reach a unanimous verdict, and it's left a lot of us with more questions than answers.

This episode is not about the outcome of the Lindsay Clancy case. We're not here to debate the verdict, weigh up the evidence or decide whether anyone is guilty. What we want to do is understand the bigger picture: what postpartum psychosis is, how mental illness is assessed in the justice system, and how to recognise the warning signs in ourselves and the people we love.

We're not experts, and we didn't want to add to the noise. So we found someone who is. Dr Jackie Rakov is a Melbourne-based clinical and forensic psychiatrist. She assesses people facing very serious charges, writes reports for the courts and is cross-examined as an expert witness. Jackie has no involvement in the Clancy case and isn't here to diagnose anyone from afar. She's here to help us understand how this actually works.

We also get into what happens when most of us are getting our information from a three-minute TikTok, and what someone who does this work for a living wishes the internet understood about cases like this one.

Then we head into the courtroom. How is mental illness assessed and proven in a criminal case, and how much room is there for error? What does "not guilty by reason of insanity" really mean for what happens to a person afterwards? Can someone seem completely fine in the hours before a tragedy? And how much rests on the twelve people who end up on a jury?

Most importantly, we cover the warning signs to look for in yourself, your partner or someone you love.

Postpartum psychosis is a medical emergency. If you're worried about yourself or a new parent in your life, please don't wait.

If this episode has raised anything for you:

• Emergency: call 000 or go to your nearest emergency department
• PANDA (Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Australia): 1300 726 306, panda.org.au
• Lifeline: 13 11 14 (24/7), lifeline.org.au
• ForWhen (perinatal mental health support line): 1300 24 23 22, forwhenhelpline.org.au
• 13YARN (crisis support for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people): 13 92 76 (24/7)
• Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636, beyondblue.org.au
• Gidget Foundation Australia: gidgetfoundation.org.au

⏱️ TIMESTAMPS
0:00 Why we're talking about the Lindsay Clancy case
4:18 Postpartum depression vs postpartum psychosis, and what causes it
8:26 What the internet gets wrong about cases like this
12:45 How mental illness is proven in court, and what the verdict really means
17:47 How a forensic psychiatric assessment works
33:43 The gaps in perinatal mental health care
37:07 Warning signs for new parents and their families
42:12 Where to find support

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.