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We’re off this week since Sam just had baby number four and is home with the family. In the meantime, we’re bringing back an OG episode from the archive on emotional communication, one of our favorite episodes from the early days.

In this one, Cole breaks down the difference between emotional and intellectual communication, and why so many of us as dads default to trying to solve a problem when our wife or kids actually just need to feel heard first. He walks through a few real examples from his own life and marriage, like missing his wife’s frustration three different times because he kept trying to fix things instead of just listening, or telling his son about the square footage of a new house when what his son actually needed was for someone to acknowledge that it’s okay to be sad about leaving the old one behind.

They also get into a couple of simple, practical tools you can start using right away, including the nonverbal paraphrase and the emotional paraphrase, and talk through how to get better at reading whether someone is communicating with you emotionally or intellectually in the moment.

If you’ve got young kids, or if you’ve ever been told by your wife that you don’t really get what she’s trying to say, this is a great one to revisit. We’ll be back soon with new episodes. Congrats again to Sam and Raquel on baby number four.

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Sam and Cole open this one honoring Chad Gilbert, who passed away just two days before recording. Sam shares what it was like knowing him for over a decade, touring together, and working on music with him, and what Chad taught him.

From there it's a full listener Q&A. Financial planning before a baby arrives, why job security means having options now more than a pension, and why housing and debt decisions made pre-kids can wreck you post-kids. Cole gets into how to handle a family member who's all vanity and no real presence with his own kids, and talks through repressed grief when you have to be strong for everyone else while you're falling apart.

They also cover advice for a guy stuck falling for anyone who shows him attention, tips for someone wanting to start their own podcast, and how they stay on the same page in their marriages with money and scheduling.

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Sam breaks down the six biggest mistakes he sees dads make when it comes to fitness after having kids. Waiting for the perfect time to start, acting like you're already old at 40, copying a program built for someone with zero family obligations, all or nothing thinking, refusing to adjust for where your body actually is now versus ten years ago, and making the whole thing way more complicated than it needs to be.

Cole gets honest about which of these he still struggles with, and they get into why consistency beats perfection every time. Simple stuff works. Squat rack, some dumbbells, the basic lifts, done consistently for years, beats any fancy program you found on Instagram.

They also talk about why physical fitness opens doors with your kids, whether that's snowboarding, backpack hunting, or just having the energy to keep up, and why waiting until conditions are perfect means you'll never start.

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Blake Kasemeier (@blakeoftoday) joins Sam and Cole this week — content creator, BJJ black belt, garage gym owner, dad of two, and friend of the show.

A long awaited conversation with Blake after two failed attempts (our fault, not his)! We cover Blake's transition into fatherhood, what he had to give up, and what he gained in the process. We compare notes on home gym setups, alternative music backgrounds, screen time, and how to construct a life that fits your unique skills and aligns with your values as a family. We talk about how depression in his 20s and the loss of his mother led him to be more vocal about his emotions in a way that ultimately reduced the power they had over him.

We are big fans of Blake and highly recommend following him on IG/YouTube.

Thanks for listening!

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Sacrifice isn't part of fatherhood. It's the point.

Sam and Cole get into something nobody told them going in: giving up what you want isn't a tax you pay for having kids — it's the actual goal. Sam and Cole talk through years of quietly shutting down the versions of themselves that want a 2-hour gym session, extended hunting trips, songwriting careers, and why that used to feel like loss and now feels like the win.

They trace it through the hard stretches that don't resolve into anything — the weeks where the baby's not sleeping, the wife's laid up, and nobody hands you a trophy at the end of it. Cole reframes it from the other direction: not sacrifice, but selfishness, and how easily that default takes over if you let it.

They also get into what it actually looks like to be the guy your family can rely on no matter what — and why giving yourself credit for showing up, even quietly, even when no one's watching, matters more than people think.

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If you died today, would you be happy with the example you set?

That question started this whole podcast. One year later, Sam and Cole go back to it — and the honest answer is still no. Which is kind of the point.

This week they walk through the questions that built the show: what your family would actually say about you if you were gone, what you've modeled as most important versus what you've just said out loud, and whether you've built a well-rounded example — not jacked with no emotional skills, not soft with no backbone.

They get into sobriety as a non-negotiable for a lot of guys, over-indexing on fitness as a way to avoid the harder emotional work, and the gap between what you tell your kids to do and what you actually do yourself.

Go write your own answers down before you talk yourself out of it.

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We're back after a two-month hiatus, and life didn't slow down while we were gone. Between a brutal round-two stomach flu that wrecked a family trip, a baseball season that's eaten every weeknight, a UK tour stop, and a genuinely terrifying dirt bike accident with a 13-year-old and a Life Flight helicopter, there was a lot to catch up on.

We also get into something we don't talk about enough — what happens to the rest of your day, and your life, when your brain is being rewired by your phone. Not the four-hours-a-day stat everyone already knows, but the part nobody's measuring: what it's doing to your ability to just read a book, sit in a car, or have a conversation.

In this episode:

• Why we disappeared for two months
• Coaching travel baseball and why the "season" never actually ends
• A UK festival, a legendary stage mosh pit, and catching up with Jack Osbourne
• Buying 10 acres of raw land in Idaho and the LARPing that's followed
• The dirt bike accident that ended in a helicopter — and what it taught us about risk, fear, and raising capable kids
• Why hardcore music (and staying sober) shaped one of our lives more than almost anything else
• Quitting the phone cold turkey and what that's actually revealed about the rest of the day

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Cole and Sam go straight to the listener questions this week, and the questions are good. From entrepreneurs struggling to be present with their kids while carrying the weight of being the sole breadwinner, to navigating spirituality in the household, to what actually happens to your marriage and your parenting when things get hard — this one covers a lot of ground.

They also get into what it actually means to "lead" your family, why gentle parenting without any firmness creates kids who know exactly how to work around you, and why the guy who's never wrong is the worst kind of leader in a household.

In this episode:

• The entrepreneur trap — when working hard is a STERB vs. when it's just a build phase
• Adopting faith into the household without being pushy
• Twins advice from a dad who actually has them
• Why you are the key variable in your kids' lives — not their behavior
• Managing conflict in marriage without pulling your kids into it
• Firmness vs. anger — and why your kids can tell the difference