EPISODE SUMMARY

When you lose the external structure of work, role, or identity, your days can feel formless. And formless days lead to anxiety, low motivation, and the feeling that you're wasting time—even when you're technically "free."

Jessica experienced this twice: once in January 2025 when federal contracting changes collapsed her business structure overnight, leaving her in crisis with no sleep, negative thoughts, and paralysis. And again in September 2025 when she intentionally chose a six-month sabbatical in Costa Rica—same loss of structure, completely different experience. The first felt like failure. The second felt like permission, recovery, and the restoration of creativity she thought she'd lost.

This episode is about the difference between those two experiences—and how to rebuild routine that serves you instead of constrains you. Because structure isn't the enemy. Rigidity is. You need anchors, not schedules. Rituals, not routines. Rhythm, not rules.

If you're newly unemployed with empty days, retired without knowing what to do with unscheduled time, or between roles and can't seem to get anything done—this episode will show you how to create meaningful structure without replicating the old job.

RESEARCH & RESOURCES MENTIONED

1. Wendy Wood - Habits research and why losing external structure removes behavioral triggers
2. Francesca Gino & Michael Norton - The psychological power of rituals vs. routines; how rituals reduce anxiety and create meaning
3. University of Pennsylvania Study - Temporal structure and wellbeing; predictable patterns reduce anxiety and increase life satisfaction
4. Retirement Adjustment Research - Bridge activities that create structure and meaning without performance pressure

THIS WEEK'S REFLECTION ACTIVITY

Download the Building Your Daily Anchors worksheet

CONNECT WITH JESSICA

If you're realizing you need support rebuilding structure that serves you instead of constrains you, visit Asbatra.com to explore one-on-one coaching. We design anchors, create rituals, and build rhythm that reduces anxiety without creating rigidity. It's for people who want days that feel meaningful—not just productive.

Website: www.asbatra.com

Substack: https://asbatracoaching.substack.com/ - Join the community for deeper discussions and downloadable worksheets

Leave feedback: Use the thumbs up/down button in your podcast app or comment on Substack

EPISODE CREDITS

Host & Producer: Asbatra Coaching

Episode Length: 34 minutes

EPISODE SUMMARY

You thought this transition would take three months. Maybe six. But here you are—eight months in, twelve months in, maybe longer—and you're still in the middle. You're starting to wonder: What's wrong with me? Why is this taking so long? Why can't I just figure it out?

Here's the truth: You're not failing. Extended transitions are normal. Most transitions take 18-24 months to fully stabilize—not the three to six months we expect. This episode is about surviving the extended timeline without losing yourself, redefining what progress actually looks like, and building the resilience to stay in the middle without collapsing back to the old or forcing a premature new.

If you're laid off and still looking, retired and still aimless, or in a new role that still doesn't feel right—this one's for you.

RESEARCH & RESOURCES MENTIONED

1. Nancy Schlossberg's Transition Theory - Framework for understanding transitions through the 4 S's: Situation, Self, Support, and Strategies
2. Harvard Business Review (2023): "Why Career Transition Is So Hard" - Research showing career transitions typically take 18-24 months to stabilize because they involve identity work, not just job search
3. Annie Duke: "Quit: The Power of Knowing When to Walk Away" - Strategic resource reallocation and why taking interim roles can be the smartest move during extended transitions

THIS WEEK'S REFLECTION ACTIVITY

Download the Redefining Progress worksheet

CONNECT WITH JESSICA

If you're navigating an extended transition and need support redefining what progress actually looks like, visit Asbatra.com to learn about one-on-one coaching. We don't just talk about patience—we set micro-milestones, experiment, and build tolerance for the timeline without the guilt.

Website: https://www.asbatra.com/

Substack: https://asbatracoaching.substack.com/- Join the community for deeper discussions and downloadable worksheets

Leave feedback: Use the thumbs up/down button in your podcast app or comment on Substack

EPISODE CREDITS

Host & Producer: Asbatra Coaching

Episode Length: 33 minutes

EPISODE SUMMARY

Fifteen years. That's how long Jessica ran her company before she finally admitted to herself: I want something different. Not because the work wasn't important. Not because she'd failed. But because it had stopped feeling like hers. The creativity and innovation that launched the business had been replaced by limitations defined by someone else. It had become a job. And she didn't want it anymore.

But admitting that felt like betrayal. Like failure. Like quitting.

This episode is the bridge between recognizing you're in transition and actually navigating it. It's about giving yourself permission to want something different than what you've been working toward—even when you've invested years, money, identity, or reputation into the path you're on. Using Annie Duke's framework from "Quit," this episode reframes quitting as strategic resource reallocation rather than failure, and teaches you how to calculate expected value, set kill criteria, and create backup plans so you can walk away from bad bets without guilt.

If you've ever wanted something different but felt like you weren't allowed to—this episode is for you.

RESEARCH & RESOURCES MENTIONED

1. Annie Duke: "Quit: The Power of Knowing When to Walk Away" - Framework for skillful quitting as strategic resource reallocation. Core concepts: kill criteria, expected value calculations, sunk cost fallacy, loss aversion, endowment effect, status quo bias, backup plans, and embracing the quitter identity.
2. IDEA Analytics now focuses on organizational change management projects involving digital transformation, talent acquisition, and leadership development.

THIS WEEK'S REFLECTION ACTIVITY

Download the Permission Exercise Worksheet

CONNECT WITH JESSICA

If you need support navigating financial anxiety and making strategic decisions under pressure, visit Asbatra.comto explore one-on-one coaching. We separate fear from facts, identify what actually creates security for you, and build strategic plans that give you runway without compromising what matters. It's for people who want to make financial decisions from strategy, not panic.

Website: www.asbatra.com

Substack: https://asbatracoaching.substack.com/ - Join the community for deeper discussions and downloadable worksheets

Leave feedback: Use the thumbs up/down button in your podcast app or comment on Substack

EPISODE CREDITS

Host & Producer: Asbatra Coaching

Episode Length: 39 minutes

Episode Summary

Here's the paradox I see constantly: A leader's role becomes uncertain. And what does that leader do? They work harder.

More projects. Longer hours. Yes to everything. They're exhausted, overwhelmed, and burning out—but they keep performing. Because if they can just prove their value, maybe they'll be safe.

Except the harder they perform, the more unsustainable it becomes. It's a trap. And if you're in it right now, you probably know it—but you don't know how to stop.

This episode unpacks why successful leaders double down on performance during transitions, what the research says about the addictive nature of the validation cycle, and how to start untangling your worth from your output.

Resources Mentioned

• Emily and Amelia Nagoski, Burnout

• Carol Dweck, Mindset

• Brené Brown, Atlas of the Heart

• Adam Grant, Think Again

This Week's Reflection Activity:

Download the Performance Inventory Worksheet

CONNECT WITH JESSICA

If you need support navigating financial anxiety and making strategic decisions under pressure, visit Asbatra.comto explore one-on-one coaching. We separate fear from facts, identify what actually creates security for you, and build strategic plans that give you runway without compromising what matters. It's for people who want to make financial decisions from strategy, not panic.

Website: www.asbatra.com

Substack: https://asbatracoaching.substack.com/ - Join the community for deeper discussions and downloadable worksheets

Leave feedback: Use the thumbs up/down button in your podcast app or comment on Substack

EPISODE CREDITS

Host & Producer: Asbatra Coaching

Episode Length: 31 minutes

Episode Summary

Three weeks. That's how long a highly competent executive spent deciding whether to apply for a new role. Not because she lacked information—she had plenty. She couldn't decide because the decision felt like it was defining who she was becoming.

This episode tackles why smart, capable people suddenly can't make decisions during transitions—and why "just decide already" is useless advice.

We'll dig into the difference between decision fatigue and decision avoidance, what the research actually says about why your brain freezes when stakes feel high, and why you're probably waiting for certainty that will never arrive. Then we'll flip the script entirely: instead of trying to make the "right" decision, you'll learn how to design a 30-day experiment.

Resources Mentioned

• Sheena Iyengar, The Art of Choosing

• Dr. Maya Shankar on uncertainty and the brain

• Daniel Kahneman, Thinking Fast and Slow

• William Bridges, Transitions

This Week's Reflection Activity

Download the Decision Archaeology Worksheet

CONNECT WITH JESSICA

If you need support navigating financial anxiety and making strategic decisions under pressure, visit Asbatra.comto explore one-on-one coaching. We separate fear from facts, identify what actually creates security for you, and build strategic plans that give you runway without compromising what matters. It's for people who want to make financial decisions from strategy, not panic.

Website: www.asbatra.com

Substack: https://asbatracoaching.substack.com/ - Join the community for deeper discussions and downloadable worksheets

Leave feedback: Use the thumbs up/down button in your podcast app or comment on Substack

EPISODE CREDITS

Host & Producer: Asbatra Coaching

Episode Length: 30 minutes

"So, what do you do?"

I was at a dinner party two years into my transition out of law enforcement when someone asked me that question. And I froze. Not because I didn't have an answer—I had plenty. I froze because for the first time in 25 years, I didn't lead with my title. And without it, I wasn't entirely sure who I was.

This episode is about the identity crisis nobody warns you about: what happens when the professional shorthand you've used for decades suddenly doesn't fit anymore. We'll dig into why your brain is wired to resist this shift, why you can't think your way into a new identity (you have to live your way into it), and how to start separating who you are from what you do.

Asbatra Worksheet: Identity Inventory

Resources and Research:

1. Dr. Maya Shankar, A Slight Change of Plans (podcast on identity and change)
2. Herminia Ibarra, Working Identity, www.herminiaibarra.com
3. Erik Erikson's identity development theory, which you can read more about here: Maehler, D. B., & Hernández-Torrano, D. (2025). Identity development research: a systematic review of reviews. Self and Identity, 24(8), 907–942. https://doi.org/10.1080/15298868.2025.2549770

Mentioned in this episode:

About Leading in Balance

Episode Summary

You've set the boundary. You meant it this time. And then someone called with a "quick question" and forty minutes later you're sitting in a parking lot wondering why you can't just say no.

This episode is about the real reason your boundaries keep failing—and it's not because you lack willpower.

I share my own breakdown moment (literally, in my car), unpack what behavior research actually says about why motivation alone won't save you, and walk through a practical framework for boundaries that stick. We'll talk about what boundaries are really protecting, why transitions make this harder, and how to design your way around the guilt instead of trying to white-knuckle through it.

Asbatra Worksheet: The Boundary Audit

Research/Book References:

1. Book: Fogg, BJ. Tiny Habits: The Small Changes That Change Everything. Found on Amazon at: https://www.amazon.com/Tiny-Habits-Changes-Change-Everything/dp/0358003326
2. Brené Brown resources on setting boundaries include books Daring Greatly, Atlas of the Heart, and more than one podcast you can find at www.brenebrown.com

Mentioned in this episode:

About Leading in Balance

Leading in Balance with Dr. Jessica Herbert

From stuck to strategic. From overwhelmed to empowered.

Episode Summary:

In this introductory episode, Dr. Jessica Herbert explores the often-overlooked “murky middle” of leadership transitions. Whether you’re facing a new role, a reorganization, retirement, or a personal shift, this episode offers a candid look at the challenges and opportunities that come with change. Jessica shares her own story, outlines the four phases of transition, and introduces the podcast’s unique structure—combining real stories, research, and actionable reflection activities.

Key Topics Covered:

1. The discomfort and uncertainty of leadership transitions
2. Personal stories of change and self-discovery
3. Why traditional leadership advice often falls short
4. The four phases of transition:
5. Recognizing you’re in transition
6. Navigating ambiguity and exploration
7. Designing intentional living and leadership
8. Sustaining change and integration
9. The importance of reflection and actionable insight
10. How to redefine success and set new boundaries

Reflection Activity:

Jessica invites listeners to pause and reflect on three key questions:

1. What has changed in the last 6–12 months that’s making you question your identity as a leader?
2. What are you afraid will happen if you address this transition head-on?
3. If you could design your next chapter without anyone else’s expectations, what would it look like?

About the Host:

Dr. Jessica Herbert is an ICF professional certified coach, data scientist, and thought leader with 27 years of experience working with leaders in high-stress, high-impact roles.

Connect & Learn More:

• Be sure to subscribe to Asbatra Coaching on Substack

1. New episodes every Thursday: On Substack or on Spotify
2. Join the conversation: https://asbatracoaching.substack.com/
3. Work with me: www.asbatra.com or www.drjessicaherbert.com
4. For coaching, workshops, and retreats, visit www.asbatra.com, or www.asbatra-retreats.org, to schedule your call with Jessica today.

Closing Thought:

“Insight without action is just entertainment. You’re here