When Your Title Was Your Identity (And Now You're Not Sure Who You Are)
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When Your Title Was Your Identity (And Now You're Not Sure Who You Are)
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"So, what do you do?"
I was at a dinner party two years into my transition out of law enforcement when someone asked me that question. And I froze. Not because I didn't have an answer—I had plenty. I froze because for the first time in 25 years, I didn't lead with my title. And without it, I wasn't entirely sure who I was.
This episode is about the identity crisis nobody warns you about: what happens when the professional shorthand you've used for decades suddenly doesn't fit anymore. We'll dig into why your brain is wired to resist this shift, why you can't think your way into a new identity (you have to live your way into it), and how to start separating who you are from what you do.
Asbatra Worksheet: Identity Inventory
Resources and Research:
- Dr. Maya Shankar, A Slight Change of Plans (podcast on identity and change)
- Herminia Ibarra, Working Identity, www.herminiaibarra.com
- Erik Erikson's identity development theory, which you can read more about here: Maehler, D. B., & Hernández-Torrano, D. (2025). Identity development research: a systematic review of reviews. Self and Identity, 24(8), 907–942. https://doi.org/10.1080/15298868.2025.2549770
Mentioned in this episode:
About Leading in Balance
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