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Why People Pleasers Tolerate Disrespect (And How to Finally Set Boundaries)

What if the very thing you’re doing to keep the relationship… is the thing slowly eroding your self-respect?

If you’re a highly sensitive person or a recovering people pleaser, you’ve likely tolerated behavior that didn’t feel good. You minimized it. You excused it. You smoothed it over. Not because you’re weak — but because your nervous system was trying to protect you.

In this episode, I’m breaking down why people pleasers tolerate disrespect, how the freeze and fawn responses keep you stuck, and what it actually looks like to set boundaries without guilt.

If you’ve ever thought:

• “I don’t want to make a big deal out of it.”
• “I’m probably just being too sensitive.”
• “They didn’t mean it.”
• “If I’m patient enough, they’ll change.”

…this episode is for you.

Because in trying not to lose the relationship, you may be losing yourself.

Why Highly Sensitive People Struggle With Boundaries

When someone makes a cutting comment or dismisses your experience, your body doesn’t always respond with confrontation.

Many highly sensitive people default to:

Freeze – You go into shock. You can’t believe they would treat you that way.
Fawn – You rush to reassure the person who hurt you.
“It’s okay.”
“I know you didn’t mean it.”

This isn’t weakness. It’s a stress response.

But when you repeatedly smooth things over instead of addressing the behavior, you unintentionally teach others that your boundaries are optional. And your body feels it — anxiety, tension, walking on eggshells.

4 Sneaky Ways You Say “Yes” When You Mean “No”

1. You Accept Words Without Watching for Change

They say, “I’m sorry. I’ve changed.”

You want to believe them, so you focus on their words instead of their behavior. You forgive without evidence. You accept apology without accountability.

Kindness without accountability keeps unhealthy patterns alive.

2. You Minimize the Impact to Protect the Relationship

You tell yourself:

• “It’s not that bad.”
• “They’re just stressed.”
• “I’m overreacting.”

But every time you minimize their behavior, you also minimize your boundary. Over time, your needs matter less.

3. You Overexplain Your Boundaries

Instead of saying,
“That doesn’t work for me,”

you add context and reassurance.

You take on the emotional labor so they don’t have to self-reflect. Clear boundaries don’t require a long defense. They require calm clarity.

4. Your Body Has Checked Out And is Saying No— But You’re Still Saying Yes

You feel tightness in your chest.
You feel drained.
You walk on eggshells.

Your body is saying no, but your mouth keeps saying yes.

Sometimes you don’t realize a boundary was crossed until later. That delayed awareness doesn’t invalidate the violation. Your body keeps the score.

Boundaries don’t push the right people away. They filter out the wrong ones.

A true yes doesn’t feel anxious or heavy.
It feels steady. Clear. Expansive.

Boundaries don’t destroy healthy relationships.
They reveal which ones are.

If this episode resonated and you’re ready to stop people pleasing, strengthen your boundaries, and rebuild self-trust, I’d love to support you.

Book your free clarity call here:
👉 https://calendly.com/maryannwalkerlife/freeconsult

You do not have to betray yourself to be loved.

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You’re Not Too Sensitive — You’re Just Unregulated

If you’ve ever whispered to yourself, “I’m just too sensitive,” this episode is going to change everything.

Crying at the slightest tension. Replaying conversations in your head. Feeling guilty for saying no. Shutting down in conflict. Overexplaining. People-pleasing. Walking on eggshells so no one else feels uncomfortable. Sound familiar?

What if your sensitivity isn’t the problem?

In this episode, I’m breaking down the truth about being a highly sensitive person (HSP) and why the real issue isn’t your deep emotions — it’s nervous system dysregulation. I’ll show you the difference between suppression and regulation, how emotional reactivity leads to self-betrayal, and what it actually looks like to turn your sensitivity into your greatest strength.

Because your sensitivity is not a weakness. It’s a superpower — when you know how to regulate it.

In This Episode, We Cover:

• Why highly sensitive people are often mislabeled as “too sensitive”
• The difference between emotional suppression and emotional regulation
• Signs of nervous system dysregulation (fight, flight, freeze, fawn)
• How people-pleasing becomes a form of self-abandonment
• How to increase your tolerance for discomfort without shutting down
• The cost of staying emotionally reactive (burnout, resentment, anxiety, indecision)
• How to act instead of react in triggering situations
• Why upgrading your nervous system is the key to healthy boundaries and emotional maturity

The Truth About Sensitivity and Emotional Regulation

Highly sensitive people feel deeply. That’s not the issue.

The issue is that most of us were never taught how to process what we feel.

And because only about 15–20% of the population is highly sensitive, many of us grew up in environments where our depth wasn’t understood — and sometimes wasn’t welcomed.

But here’s the shift:

Regulation does not mean feeling less.
It means feeling safer as you feel.

It means:

• Experiencing sadness without drowning
• Feeling anger without exploding
• Noticing guilt without turning yourself into the villain
• Staying present in discomfort without self-abandoning

Suppression pushes emotions away.
Regulation stays with yourself through them.

What Emotional Regulation Looks Like in Real Life

Emotional regulation isn’t about being calm 24/7. It’s about recovery time. Capacity. Integrity.

It’s learning to separate your emotions from your actions.

Because when your emotions run the show, you betray yourself.
But when you regulate, you act in alignment with who you want to be.

If You’re a Highly Sensitive Person, Hear This:

You are not broken.
You are not dramatic.
You are not weak.

You simply require a different set of tools.

Work With Me

If you’re tired of:

• Emotional reactivity
• People-pleasing
• Overthinking every interaction
• Feeling guilty for having needs
• Shutting down in conflict

My 12-week coaching program is designed specifically for highly sensitive people who want to:

• Act instead of react
• Set boundaries without guilt
• Express needs without anxiety
• Stop self-abandoning in relationships
• Build emotional resilience and regulation

Click here to book your free clarity call, and let’s see if coaching is the right next step for you. https://calendly.com/maryannwalkerlife/freeconsult

You don’t need to feel less. You need to feel safer as you fe

Send us a text

Guilt or Discomfort? How Highly Sensitive People Can Tell the Difference
Have you ever felt overwhelming guilt after saying no — even when you didn’t do anything wrong?

For highly sensitive people and recovering people pleasers, guilt often shows up not because of a moral failure, but because of discomfort. In this episode, MaryAnn Walker breaks down the crucial difference between true guilt and the nervous-system discomfort that comes from disappointing others, setting boundaries, or choosing yourself.

Through a personal holiday story and relatable examples, you’ll learn why your body can react as if you’ve done something “bad” — even when you haven’t — and how to stop letting discomfort dictate your decisions.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode
-The key difference between true guilt and emotional discomfort
-Why highly sensitive people often confuse discomfort with wrongdoing
-How people-pleasing patterns train your nervous system to fear disappointment
-Common ways guilt shows up for HSPs and recovering people pleasers
-Why setting boundaries can feel wrong even when it’s healthy
-How nervous system activation can masquerade as guilt or shame
-Questions to ask yourself to determine whether repair is actually needed
-How learning this distinction builds self-trust and emotional resilience

Challenge for the Week
The next time guilt shows up, pause and ask yourself:
Have I actually done something wrong?
Or am I feeling discomfort because I broke an old pattern?
Notice what’s happening in your body — tight chest, racing thoughts, urge to fix — and remind yourself: discomfort is not a moral failure.

Work With Me
If your default setting has become guilt, shame, or over-responsibility for other people’s emotions, you don’t have to navigate this alone.
I offer six and twelve week coaching packages designed to help highly sensitive people:
-Trust themselves again
-Set boundaries without drowning in guilt
-Regulate their nervous systems
-Stop over-owning other people’s emotions

Apply to work with me at www.maryannwalker.life.
Spots are limited — reach out now to get on my calendar.

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