Repetition gets a bad reputation.

Growing up autistic, I often repeated thoughts, behaviors, routines, conversations, phrases, and ways of regulating myself—and for a long time, I assumed that if something kept coming back, there must be something wrong with me that I hadn't figured out yet.

So I kept digging.

Eventually, I realized repetition itself wasn't the problem.

In this episode of Imperfectly Better, I explore the different roles repetition has played in my life: emotional regulation, predictability, rehearsal, learning, processing change, building skills, and sometimes simply enjoying something enough to do it again.

But repetition can also become a trap.

I talk about the difference between genuinely processing something and what I call “orbiting”—restarting the same question over and over while hoping one more insight, perspective, or explanation will finally give you certainty.

Along the way, we get The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask, mining for ore, stirred-up lakes, treating myself like a data analytics project, and the question that has helped me become much more discerning about my own loops:

Does this repetition help me return to life—or does it keep asking me to escape it again?

This is the next episode in my seven-part series inspired by Kaelynn Partlow's Life on the Bridge, exploring her experiences alongside my own life as an autistic person.

Learn more about Life on the Bridge

Explore Kaelynn Partlow’s YouTube channel

Podpage Website

For Feedback, Questions, and Recommendations

What happens when social interaction feels like a play where everyone else got the script except you?

Growing up autistic, I spent years trying to figure out the rules of conversation, dating, and connection. Every mistake became another rule. Every awkward interaction became something to troubleshoot. And for a while, scripts genuinely helped—but eventually, trying to find the “right” response started getting in the way of actually connecting with the person in front of me.

In this episode of Imperfectly Better, I talk about what helped that change: learning through failure, reflection, curiosity, and experience; becoming more comfortable saying “I don't know”; and eventually treating conversation less like something to solve and more like improv.

Along the way, we get a terrible teenage jazz-band romance idea, Data trying to engineer small talk on Star Trek: The Next Generation, Kaelynn Partlow's wonderful flying-dolphin analogy, five simultaneous baseball pitchers, and the realization that uncertainty doesn't have to mean you're doing something wrong.

Learn more about Life on the Bridge

Explore Kaelynn Partlow’s YouTube channel

Podpage Website

For Feedback, Questions, and Recommendations

What happens when overwhelm becomes so intense that your usual coping skills are no longer accessible?

In the first episode of a seven-part series inspired by Kaelynn Partlow’s Life on the Bridge, Cody explores his experiences with autistic overwhelm, shutdowns, and meltdowns. Using Kaelynn’s sinking-boat analogy, he examines how capacity can deteriorate in stages—from “I want to get away,” to “I have to do something,” to the feeling of being completely trapped.

Through stories from middle school and a recent convention, Cody considers why the middle of a meltdown is not the time for a lesson, how stepping away can make it possible to return more fully, and the important difference between protecting your capacity and automatically avoiding discomfort.

The episode ultimately asks: What are your earliest signs of overload—and what might help you act before your boat goes underwater?

Learn more about Life on the Bridge

Explore Kaelynn Partlow’s YouTube channel

Podpage Website

For Feedback, Questions, and Recommendations