Negative Income, Positive Trauma: (Anything Is Not Better Than Nothing)

People keep telling me, “Anything is better than nothing,” which is a cute idea until you open a calculator and realize that going back to work actually puts you in the red. That’s not something. That’s negative. That’s me paying money to have a job like it’s a reverse subscription service to burnout.

In this episode, I’m back in 2026 (late, obviously), talking about what it’s like to try to re enter the workforce after your nine year old dies and your entire personality gets put through a woodchipper. I spent nearly a decade as my son Kingston’s full time caregiver, then 18 months in grief free fall, and now I’m being told to “just go back to normal” like the last ten years were a weird gap year.

We get into:

• How caregiving, grief, and spiritual weirdness translate to exactly nothing on a résumé

• Why “just take anything” is financial gaslighting when childcare and lowball salaries equal negative income

• What boundaries actually are (hint: not you being a bitch) and why people react like you slapped their dad when you start using them

• Why the people closest to you fight your boundaries the hardest, and how to say no without writing a 12 page apology email

• How honoring your energy, your nervous system, and your connection to your dead child becomes non negotiable after your life detonates

This is not a soft, tea light grief podcast. There are no angel wing platitudes, no five step formulas, and definitely no “and then I magically healed” ending. Just one grieving mother telling the truth about trauma, identity, money, boundaries, and the deeply fucked math of trying to be “productive” when your nervous system is already doing advanced parkour.

If your current life motto is “Honestly, I’m fine” but what you really mean is “I’m not fine at all, but I’m still here,” this one is for you.

Links & Things I Mentioned:

Picture Book – Zuma’s Magical Balloon
A children’s book with a suspicious history of making grown men cry in airports and parked cars.
https://payhip.com/TheAfterWords

Grief & Signs Journal – You’re Not Crazy, You’re Connected
For anyone who keeps seeing signs, then immediately gaslighting themselves about it.
https://payhip.com/TheAfterWords

Start Here (Everything in One Place):
https://linktr.ee/Haute.Mess

Listen to the Podcast:
https://open.spotify.com/show/3KMvsMYt9F1e10sKhzehU2
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/honestly-im-fine/id1788589795
https://youtube.com/@honestlyimfine

Connect with Me (Maile Navarro):
Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/honestly__im_fine
https://www.instagram.com/hautemess_la

TikTok
https://www.tiktok.com/@haute__mess

This episode is exactly what it sounds like and somehow also not.

I’m sitting down with my ex-husband, Michael, the father of our two kids, Kingston and Zuma, to talk about grief, parenting, loss, and what it looks like when two people survive the same earthquake and end up standing on completely different fault lines.

We lost the same child.
We did not grieve the same way.

And no, this is not a debate or a reconciliation special.

This is a conversation about public grief vs private grief, why one parent talks and the other disappears, and how neither approach fixes anything, but both are human.

We talk about signs, silence, anger, awkward moments, and the unspoken pressure to perform pain correctly so other people feel comfortable.

There is no moral of the story.
There is no healing arc tied up with a bow.

There is humor, honesty, a few derailments, and exactly zero instructions on how you should be doing grief.

If you’re grieving a person, a version of your life, a marriage, or just your tolerance for bullshit, you’re welcome here.

We’re fine.
Don’t make it weird.

🎧 Links, books, and the things I keep referencing mid-sentence:

You're Not Crazy, You're Connected: Grief Journal
https://payhip.com/b/q2fPt

Zuma's Magical Balloon with Audio
https://payhip.com/b/A58gO

Follow me everywhere!
👉 https://linktr.ee/Haute.Mess

This episode is what happens when a grieving mom, a medium-in-training, and a woman with the bladder of a Victorian ghost all live in the same body.

I watched Oprah talk to Laura Lynn Jackson about signs from the other side, and instead of feeling comforted like a normal person, I got fired up like a feral televangelist because every time I say the exact same stuff, people look at me like I’m about to start a cult in my laundry room. Yet Oprah nods once and suddenly America believes in intuition again.

So naturally I took this emotional instability to Six Flags on Thanksgiving, because nothing says spiritual awakening like pissing your pants on a roller coaster and losing a shoe while your dead kid photobombs the ride camera as a literal glowing orb.

Yes. An orb. A crisp “you can’t deny me” orb sitting in the exact seat Kingston would have occupied. Plus a whale. Plus a choreographed dolphin pod. Plus me ugly-crying in public like mascara was a suggestion.

You’ll hear the whole thing. The signs. The quantum entanglement lecture my ex did NOT ask for. The missing shoe. The cosmic comedy routine my kid apparently wrote from the afterlife.

If you’ve ever wondered whether signs from the other side are real, or if you’re just spiritually constipated, this episode is your permission slip to stop doubting what you already know.

And if your friends step back like you're cursing them? Congratulations. You’re waking up. They’ll catch up or they won’t. Either way, you’re fine.

Download the You’re Not Crazy, You’re Connected Grief Journal.
Build your sign language with the other side. Practice it. Own it. Let it save you the way it saved me.

Follow me on all platforms and check out my children’s books on Amazon, follow me on all platforms (especially TikTok because we need to monetize this circus), and keep Kingston’s legacy loud.

Connection doesn’t die. And neither do we.

New episodes weekly unless the universe throws me onto another roller coaster.