When Love listens buy it now - http://bit.ly/4ptPpxm

What if the breakdown in your marriage wasn’t the end—but the beginning of something deeper, stronger, and far more honest than anything you’ve had before?

When Love Listens: The Marriage Book You Never Got (But Definitely Needed) is a lifeline for couples who are exhausted from trying, fed up with feeling unseen, and quietly terrified that their relationship is slipping through their fingers. This isn’t another surface-level self-help book full of vague advice and tidy clichés. This is the real thing—raw, compassionate, and relentlessly practical.

Marriage coach Ben Leppier brings over a decade of in-the-trenches experience to this book. He’s worked with hundreds of couples and seen it all: the stonewalling, the sexless months (or years), the parenting battles, the resentment that builds like plaque in your emotional arteries. He’s sat with people in their ugliest moments—and helped them find the courage to love differently.

This book is not about fixing your partner. It’s about understanding the patterns, pain points, and survival strategies that silently sabotage connection. It’s about learning the difference between listening to defend and listening to understand. It’s about responsibility—not as blame, but as power. It’s about growing up emotionally, without losing the messy, beautiful vulnerability that intimacy requires.

You’ll find:

• 
  Stories of real couples navigating real chaos—with honesty, heartbreak, and hope
• 
  Tools to stop circular arguments and actually move forward
• 
  Deep dives into the emotional dynamics underneath money fights, sexual disconnection, and parenting pressure
• 
  Insight into identity, ego, childhood wounds, and how they show up in adult love
• 
  A powerful section on the Enneagram to help you understand yourself—and your partner—like never before

You won’t find neat formulas or false promises. Instead, you’ll find clarity, courage, and a roadmap that helps you recover the love you thought was lost—and build something more meaningful in its place.

Whether you’re the one doing all the emotional heavy lifting, or the one who’s finally ready to show up differently, When Love Listens meets you where you are and calls you forward. It’s a book that doesn’t sugar-coat the truth, but holds your hand through it.

If you’re done with shallow fixes, and ready for deep repair—this is your book.

Ben’s approach is deeply informed by the likes of Brene Brown, Richard Rohr, Byron Katie, and the Enneagram framework—but it’s not theoretical. It’s gritty, grounded, and forged in the crucible of real-life relationship struggle. He doesn’t write from an ivory tower; he writes as someone who’s made his own mistakes, learned the hard way, and walked the long road back to connection in his own marriage.

When Love Listens isn’t just a book—it’s a mirror, a flashlight, and a map. A mirror to see your part more clearly, a flashlight to illuminate what’s really going on beneath the surface, and a map to help you move forward with intention and love. You’ll laugh, cry, feel seen—and, most importantly, start to believe that healing is possible.

If you’ve ever sat across the room from someone you used to feel so close to and wondered, “How did we get here?”—this book will help you answer that. And if there’s still

Our Resources:
My Website: https://www.thedamngoodlistener.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thedamngoodlistener/
Linkedin: benjaminleppier

Links etc:
Link for intelligent change https://www.intelligentchange.com/?rfsn=8339894.e05f4e7&utm_source=refersion&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=8339894.e05f4e7

Use discount code: DAMNGOODLISTENER for 10% discount

If you enjoyed this episode why not buy Ben (or Kerry) a coffee, all donations, small or great, are gratefully received:
https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/headtohearttransform

Todays Q&A Content:

1 - My husband constantly gets angry around the kids. I hate it and, honestly, it intimidates me. What can we do?

Anger is really unpleasant to be around, it says a number of things

I don't care about you only me

It can feel threatening like you might be physically hurt

When someone is angry at you, it's hard to see anything other than what they might do to you. Unless its your children, then you might determine, this is awful, what are they going to d to themselves, then we jump into the pain pit of 'I am a terrible parent'

Well you are the kind of person listening to this so that helps

The angry people who really need to hear this will not be seeking it because they don't even know they need it,m they haven't even woken up yet

One thing for sure, is that there is always some untreated hurt underneath the anger

You get what you need first

Partner second - see them clearly before you can help them

Kids 3rd

There may be previous life events that they are still carrying from back in primary school they might be having a tough time at work and feeling like they aren't providing, if you haven't had sex in a while and haven't spoken about it, they might be feeling unattractive and distant from you physically. There are a multitude of reasons

2 - Every time I try to bring something up, it turns into an argument. How do we break that cycle?

You're saying I need you to love me, he says I need you to love me, then you say No No NO, you aren't listening again you need to listen to me!

Timing, timing, timing.

If he just walks in the door and barks at the kids - that is not the time to bark at him. I am not saying that his anger is acceptable, merely helping you find an effective time TO communicate with him

So get the kids down to bed, let him know after dinner that you would really like to talk about X & Y for 30 minutes after the kids are down. If he is really not in a good place you either scrap it that night or tell him, do whatever you like to relax until I come down then we can talk.

Know that whatever you say, he will have a counter argument and believe that what you have to say is unfair or unjust, he can't help it. You have a long way to go but this is a great start. In other words once you have told him what you want he will also want to tell you what he wants to change and that's alright.

You do get to say - Can we talk about what you want tomorrow, if you are just not in that place.

As calmly as you can suggest checking in again same time next week to see how we're doing with it - this is an accountability issue as much as it is a behavioural issue

3 - I am afraid of my wife - she wants everything perfect all of the time and if I am not on point 100% of the time, then its hell

https://www.enneagraminstitu

To find out more go to: https://www.malesireland.ie/rites-2/

Content:

Listen to the voices of men who stepped into the unknown as boys and emerged as men, grounded in their value and clear in their place in the world. Their stories are raw, real, and transformative.

Is it time you answered the call?

The Rites of Passage is being held in Ireland this year and we warmly invite you to follow the link and apply. The next Rites of Passage event in the UK is being planned for 23rd - 27th July 2025.

This is not about religion, but about spirituality. About age-old traditions that guide men into manhood. About coming to trust that there is something much greater at work in your life than you could ever imagine. Taking you sometimes OUT of your comfort zones, but more deeply back into your own life. You may find yourself mentally, intellectually, emotionally or spiritually challenged. This is part of the experience for some men: it may feel risky or uncomfortable; you may not always feel in control. Throughout the 5 days you will be held by an experienced team of male elders who have all previously undertaken the Rites themselves. As the Elders take you through the process of the Rites you will experience drumming, ritual, fire, silence, small groups, wilderness, solo-time, teaching... and more.

Our Resources:
My Website: https://www.damngoodlistener.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thedamngoodlistener/
Linkedin: benjaminleppier

Link for intelligent change https://www.intelligentchange.com/?rfsn=8339894.e05f4e7&utm_source=refersion&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=8339894.e05f4e7

Use discount code: DAMNGOODLISTENER for 10% discount

If you enjoyed this episode why not buy Ben (or Kerry) a coffee, all donations, small or great, are gratefully received:
https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/headtohearttransform

James resources:

Website: https://www.xcc.org.uk/

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/james-ray-a6400b72/

In this episode we:

Why the wilderness is good for men (and to be together as men)

What masks and armour have we worn as men and why?

What is Alpha male and how does it serve us?

Fierce and tender 'all the time' [Last of the Mohicans]

Responsibility (you are 100% responsible for your life) and balance (be aware of the extremes). Take responsibility for yourself. Take responsibility for what's next.

Mansplaining - Why do we do it and what the hell is it?

Joining community - we have to bend and twist, but it will be a great good for us

Our Resources:
My Website: https://www.damngoodlistener.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thedamngoodlistener/
Linkedin: benjaminleppier

Links etc

Link for intelligent change https://www.intelligentchange.com/?rfsn=8339894.e05f4e7&utm_source=refersion&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=8339894.e05f4e7

Use discount code: DAMNGOODLISTENER for 10% discount

If you enjoyed this episode why not buy Ben (or Kerry) a coffee, all donations, small or great, are gratefully received:
https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/headtohearttransform

Tell us a bit about yourself
What have men been lacking and what are they currently lacking?
Alpha males - nature story
Victimhood
What do men say is missing in relationship?
They really thought it was a trade, I do this for you and you do this for me. You look after the kids and the home and I go to work to earn the money and then when I get home I want good sex and time with my friends.
Now in working relationships where both partners are working often fullt time, but she also has familial responsibility, things are wearing a bit thin
What does strong look like?
Emotionally strong, means you say sorry and mean it, admit and see when you are wrong, be willing to take responsibility or ownership when your partner screws up and don't hold it against her. Being able to hold a hard line with your kids when necessary and know when they want a tender touch

Kerry says Daniel Day Lewis in Last of the Mohicans in the perfect male

Our Resources:
My Website: https://www.thedamngoodlistener.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thedamngoodlistener/
Linkedin: benjaminleppier

Summary

In this episode 5 men openly discuss their own personal views on:

Why are they attracted to mens work?

What IS mens work to them?

What is a friend?

They discuss real life situations and dig into how mens groups fill a gap for them or make a bridge to a place they would rather go and live the way they really want to live.

Links etc

Link for intelligent change https://www.intelligentchange.com/?rfsn=8339894.e05f4e7&utm_source=refersion&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=8339894.e05f4e7

Use discount code: DAMNGOODLISTENER for 10% discount

If you enjoyed this episode why not buy Ben (or Kerry) a coffee, all donations, small or great, are gratefully received:
https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/headtohearttransform

Our Resources:
My Website: https://www.thedamngoodlistener.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thedamngoodlistener/
Linkedin: benjaminleppier

Liams resources:

Website and tickets: Click here

Insta: Click here for Liams Insta

Summary

Links etc

Link for intelligent change click here

Use discount code: DAMNGOODLISTENER for 10% discount

If you enjoyed this episode why not buy Ben (or Kerry) a coffee, all donations, small or great, are gratefully received:
https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/headtohearttransform

Our Resources:
My Website: https://www.thedamngoodlistener.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thedamngoodlistener/
Linkedin: benjaminleppier

Summary

That word ‘sex’ can bring up SO much for someone - Sex can be a wonderful complement to an already loving relationship, sex can be healing, loving, tender, sex can be wild, rough and passionate. Sex has been abused time and time again and as a result there can be so much confusion, about our need for it, where and when we go for it and how really take care of another person whilst doing it. With very little healthy guidance available, even initiating and discussing it with partners seems to create the most complex of atmospheres and communication….
Questions for the group were:
What does that word ‘sex’ bring up for you?
What does unhealthy and healthy sex look like to you?
In what ways has your need for sex created problems in your relationships?
What advice would you give to young men about how to have a healthy sex life?

Links etc

Link for intelligent change https://www.intelligentchange.com/?rfsn=8339894.e05f4e7&utm_source=refersion&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=8339894.e05f4e7

Use discount code: DAMNGOODLISTENER for 10% discount

If you enjoyed this episode why not buy Ben (or Kerry) a coffee, all donations, small or great, are gratefully received:
https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/headtohearttransform

Why men often struggle to express emotions and how embracing vulnerability can lead to deeper connections.

The subjects explored on this podcast:
Rather than be vulnerable, what do you do instead?
What do you believe you need in this environment to feel and allow vulnerability?When have you experienced a man being truly vulnerable with you? (e.g. This might be a man confiding in you, disclosing very person information, being honest about himself in a way he never has with someone etc)

Link for intelligent change https://www.intelligentchange.com/?rfsn=8339894.e05f4e7&utm_source=refersion&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=8339894.e05f4e7

Use discount code: DAMNGOODLISTENER for 10% discount

If you enjoyed this episode why not buy Ben (or Kerry) a coffee, all donations, small or great, are gratefully received:
https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/headtohearttransform

Our Resources:
My Website: https://www.thedamngoodlistener.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thedamngoodlistener/
Linkedin: benjaminleppier