In this deeply moving episode of Earth Tones, I sit down with my friend- Afro artist PENI, who opens his heart and story with rare honesty.

PENI shares what it was like growing up in Nigeria and experiencing profound loss early in life, losing both of his parents and his sister. He reflects on the distinct impact each of them had on shaping who he is today, and how their teachings around family, generosity, and showing up for others continue to guide his choices.

Music became more than expression for PENI. It became memory. It became prayer.

Through lyrical storytelling, he honors the people he’s lost and the love that still carries him forward.

We talk about:

•Growing up in Nigeria and navigating grief at a young age

•How his parents and sister shaped his values and purpose

•Using music as a way to remember, heal, and tell his story

•His songs “Dear God” and “Dear God Pt. 2,” written for his lost family members

•Wrestling with faith during life’s hardest seasons

•Finding your way back to God when you feel distant, angry, or unsure

PENI also shares his hopes for the future. Building stability for himself and his brothers, creating financial freedom, and stepping into his next chapter with deeper faith and momentum. He has new music dropping in March, and this conversation offers a powerful glimpse into the heart behind the sound.

🎶 Listen to PENI’s music on Apple Music and Spotify:

Dear God

Dear God Pt. 2

If you’ve ever questioned God, grieved deeply, or tried to turn pain into purpose, this episode will sit with you long after it ends.

Connect with Guest, PENI

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/y0peni?igsh=MW1udTEwOHU1ZGUzYw==

Apple Music:

https://music.apple.com/us/artist/peni/1596997012

Spotify:

Peni

Connect with Host, Ella

🎞️ Earth Tones Podcast Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/earthtones.podcast

🎞️ Personal Instagram https://www.instagram.com/earthmamaella

🎬 TikTok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@earthtones.podcast

🎥 YouTube:

https://www.youtube.com/@earthtones-podcast

Childhood healing, divorce, inner child, family relationships, imperfect parents, father daughter healing, emotional growth, forgiveness, healing journey, faith and healing, personal reflection, adult healing, feel to heal

This episode is a reflection of my childhood, divorce, and the armor I built to survive and what happened when I returned to those memories later in life with adult eyes.

I share what it was like growing up as a product of separation: the confusion, the emotional self-reliance, and the quiet ways I learned to protect myself long before I understood what I was protecting against. Much of this episode lives in that early terrain, the child navigating instability and learning how to be strong too soon.

As the episode unfolds, I reflect on how time, faith, and lived experience slowly soften the past. I talk about releasing the need for perfect explanations, loosening the grip of ego and self-protection, and learning to assess love and apology not by completeness, but by intention.

Later in the episode, I share what it meant to meet my father again as an adult- not as a child seeking repair, but as a woman grounded in compassion, boundaries, and grace. It’s not a story of resolution, but of my evolution: seeing my parents as human, and choosing forgiveness as a doorway to deeper love.

This conversation is for anyone learning how to stay soft without losing themselves- and for those discovering that healing isn’t about fixing the past, but about meeting it differently.

Connect with Host, Ella

🎞️ Earth Tones Podcast Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/earthtones.podcast

🎞️ Personal Instagram https://www.instagram.com/earthmamaella

🎬 TikTok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@earthtones.podcast

🎥 YouTube:

https://www.youtube.com/@earthtones-podcast

The world has a way of teaching us to harden- to protect ourselves by closing off, pulling back, or carrying unspoken resentment. But wisdom doesn’t require hardness, and discernment doesn’t have to turn into bitterness.

In this episode, I reflect on what it means to stay soft without losing your wisdom- to practice discernment as clarity rather than resentment, and to protect your heart without closing it.

I talk about how unresolved hurt can quietly shape our posture toward life, and how choosing discernment with compassion can help purify the heart so we’re able to walk in love- even when relationships, seasons, and people are imperfect.

In this episode, I share:

• The difference between discernment and resentment
• How wisdom can coexist with tenderness
• Why forgiveness is a practice, not a bypass
• How to guard your heart without hardening it
• My three North Stars for 2026- the values I’ll return to when life feels heavy
• Being “labeled” for taking space from hurtful communities or church should be more acceptable and understood
• Thanking past relationships for leaving

This episode isn’t about fixing yourself or forcing outcomes. It’s about choosing the posture you want to live from- one rooted in clarity, love, and grounded faith.

✨ If you’re entering this year wanting to live wisely without becoming hardened, this episode is for you.

Connect with Host, Ella

🎞️ Earth Tones Podcast Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/earthtones.podcast

🎞️ Personal Instagram https://www.instagram.com/earthmamaella

🎬 TikTok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@earthtones.podcast

🎥 YouTube:

https://www.youtube.com/@earthtones-podcast