In this deeply moving episode of Earth Tones, I sit down with my friend- Afro artist PENI, who opens his heart and story with rare honesty.

PENI shares what it was like growing up in Nigeria and experiencing profound loss early in life, losing both of his parents and his sister. He reflects on the distinct impact each of them had on shaping who he is today, and how their teachings around family, generosity, and showing up for others continue to guide his choices.

Music became more than expression for PENI. It became memory. It became prayer.

Through lyrical storytelling, he honors the people he’s lost and the love that still carries him forward.

We talk about:

•Growing up in Nigeria and navigating grief at a young age

•How his parents and sister shaped his values and purpose

•Using music as a way to remember, heal, and tell his story

•His songs “Dear God” and “Dear God Pt. 2,” written for his lost family members

•Wrestling with faith during life’s hardest seasons

•Finding your way back to God when you feel distant, angry, or unsure

PENI also shares his hopes for the future. Building stability for himself and his brothers, creating financial freedom, and stepping into his next chapter with deeper faith and momentum. He has new music dropping in March, and this conversation offers a powerful glimpse into the heart behind the sound.

🎶 Listen to PENI’s music on Apple Music and Spotify:

Dear God

Dear God Pt. 2

If you’ve ever questioned God, grieved deeply, or tried to turn pain into purpose, this episode will sit with you long after it ends.

Connect with Guest, PENI

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/y0peni?igsh=MW1udTEwOHU1ZGUzYw==

Apple Music:

https://music.apple.com/us/artist/peni/1596997012

Spotify:

Peni

Connect with Host, Ella

🎞️ Earth Tones Podcast Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/earthtones.podcast

🎞️ Personal Instagram https://www.instagram.com/earthmamaella

🎬 TikTok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@earthtones.podcast

🎥 YouTube:

https://www.youtube.com/@earthtones-podcast

Childhood healing, divorce, inner child, family relationships, imperfect parents, father daughter healing, emotional growth, forgiveness, healing journey, faith and healing, personal reflection, adult healing, feel to heal

This episode is a reflection of my childhood, divorce, and the armor I built to survive and what happened when I returned to those memories later in life with adult eyes.

I share what it was like growing up as a product of separation: the confusion, the emotional self-reliance, and the quiet ways I learned to protect myself long before I understood what I was protecting against. Much of this episode lives in that early terrain, the child navigating instability and learning how to be strong too soon.

As the episode unfolds, I reflect on how time, faith, and lived experience slowly soften the past. I talk about releasing the need for perfect explanations, loosening the grip of ego and self-protection, and learning to assess love and apology not by completeness, but by intention.

Later in the episode, I share what it meant to meet my father again as an adult- not as a child seeking repair, but as a woman grounded in compassion, boundaries, and grace. It’s not a story of resolution, but of my evolution: seeing my parents as human, and choosing forgiveness as a doorway to deeper love.

This conversation is for anyone learning how to stay soft without losing themselves- and for those discovering that healing isn’t about fixing the past, but about meeting it differently.

Connect with Host, Ella

🎞️ Earth Tones Podcast Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/earthtones.podcast

🎞️ Personal Instagram https://www.instagram.com/earthmamaella

🎬 TikTok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@earthtones.podcast

🎥 YouTube:

https://www.youtube.com/@earthtones-podcast

The world has a way of teaching us to harden- to protect ourselves by closing off, pulling back, or carrying unspoken resentment. But wisdom doesn’t require hardness, and discernment doesn’t have to turn into bitterness.

In this episode, I reflect on what it means to stay soft without losing your wisdom- to practice discernment as clarity rather than resentment, and to protect your heart without closing it.

I talk about how unresolved hurt can quietly shape our posture toward life, and how choosing discernment with compassion can help purify the heart so we’re able to walk in love- even when relationships, seasons, and people are imperfect.

In this episode, I share:

• The difference between discernment and resentment
• How wisdom can coexist with tenderness
• Why forgiveness is a practice, not a bypass
• How to guard your heart without hardening it
• My three North Stars for 2026- the values I’ll return to when life feels heavy
• Being “labeled” for taking space from hurtful communities or church should be more acceptable and understood
• Thanking past relationships for leaving

This episode isn’t about fixing yourself or forcing outcomes. It’s about choosing the posture you want to live from- one rooted in clarity, love, and grounded faith.

✨ If you’re entering this year wanting to live wisely without becoming hardened, this episode is for you.

Connect with Host, Ella

🎞️ Earth Tones Podcast Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/earthtones.podcast

🎞️ Personal Instagram https://www.instagram.com/earthmamaella

🎬 TikTok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@earthtones.podcast

🎥 YouTube:

https://www.youtube.com/@earthtones-podcast

As we step into a new year, Episode 22 of Earth Tones offers a gentle alternative to the pressure of New Year’s resolutions!

This episode explores why mantras are more invitational than resolutions — why they don’t demand perfection, discipline, or constant self-correction, but instead invite us back to ourselves again and again. Mantras are not about mastery. They’re about maintenance. About staying. About returning.

At the beginning of the episode, I take a moment to look back on 2025 — not only through the lens of Earth Tones but through my own personal becoming.

✨ Earth Tones reached 796 downloads, listeners in 31 countries, and over 130 cities — something I never imagined when this podcast began. But beyond the numbers, 2025 was a year of stillness. A year of choosing presence over escape. Of learning how to stay with myself in difficult moments instead of running from them.

This year also reshaped how I see God.

I share how my understanding of God has deepened — how God is no longer attached to outcomes, blessings, or perceived rewards. I don’t believe God deals “good hands” or “bad hands” based on worthiness. Our environments, systems, and circumstances create much of what we experience — and God sits with us through all of it.

When we tie God only to outcomes, we risk underestimating the quiet, constant presence of God in the world — especially in moments that don’t resolve neatly.

The episode closes with me sharing my personal mantra and intention for 2026, centered on forgiveness — forgiving others, forgiving myself, and learning how deeper love often lives on the other side of that work.

This episode isn’t about becoming someone new. It’s about learning how to stay with who you already are!

🌿 In this episode:

• Why mantras are more sustainable than resolutions
• Maintenance vs. mastery as a spiritual and emotional practice
• A reflective look back at 2025 — personally and with Earth Tones!
• Reframing how we understand God, presence, and circumstance
• My 2026 mantra centered on forgiveness

Connect with Host, Ella

🎞️ Earth Tones Podcast Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/earthtones.podcast

🎞️ Personal Instagram https://www.instagram.com/earthmamaella

🎬 TikTok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@earthtones.podcast

🎥 YouTube:

https://www.youtube.com/@earthtones-podcast

Today’s episode is a little different.

I was recently interviewed by a dear friend and fellow single mother on her podcast about navigating the holidays when the kids aren’t with you.

She generously allowed me to share the raw audio here on Earth Tones, because the reflections are deeply personal- and come directly from my own lived experience over the last six years!

While this is a conversation, this episode is really a personal reflection about grief, perspective, ego, and what has helped me move through the holidays when they feel complicated.

Interview conducted by a fellow single parent and close friend, whose thoughtful questions helped guide this reflection!

Hope you enjoy, and please take care of your heart if this is a year you are navigating alone. My heart is with you!

Connect with Elli, host of Mammafeststion Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mammafestation-podcast/id1806898768

Mammafestation Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mammafestation.pod?igsh=MXRwc2s3c3ZkeGY2ZA==

Mammafestation Podcast TikTok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@mammafestation.pod?_r=1&_t=ZT-92RaMhkT1CA

Connect with Host, Ella

🎞️ Earth Tones Podcast Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/earthtones.podcast

🎞️ Personal Instagram https://www.instagram.com/earthmamaella

🎬 TikTok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@earthtones.podcast

🎥 YouTube:

https://www.youtube.com/@earthtones-podcast

In this episode, we explore what happens after survival — when rebellion no longer needs to be sharp, and the body begins asking for softness, honesty, and care.

Joined by a woman from the Virgin Islands, a young mother, and a guide in embodiment work, this conversation moves gently but truthfully through the evolution many women experience: from rebellion as protection, to responsibility as reckoning, to sensuality as self-love.

This episode challenges narratives and offers another path: one where faith and sensuality can coexist, where embodiment is not perfection or performance, and where self-advocacy becomes a sacred act.

Together, we reflect on:

• Rebellion as a survival language — and what it was protecting
• Sensuality beyond sex: presence, voice, boundaries, and self-care
• Embodiment as a lifelong process, not a destination
• Holding religious identity and bodily wisdom at the same time
• The ways our ancestors were taught silence — and how we can choose advocacy
• Learning to come home to the body slowly, honestly, and without shame

This episode is for women who have lived in extremes — obedience or rebellion, suppression or self-protection — and are now seeking a softer, truer way to live inside themselves.

Sensuality, here, is not about performance.

It’s about listening.

It’s about advocating for your needs.

It’s about learning how to stay.

About the Guest

Our guest is a Virgin Islands–rooted mother, embodiment guide, and wellness practitioner whose work centers on helping women reconnect to their bodies through compassion, self-trust, and nervous-system–informed care.

• Instagram: @__freeki
  https://www.instagram.com/__freeki
• Offerings & Work:
  https://linktr.ee/kiwellnessco

Listener Note

This episode touches on themes of embodiment, faith, sensuality, and personal responsibility. It is not explicit, but it is honest. If this topic feels tender for you, listen at your own pace and with care.

Connect with Host, Ella

🎞️ Earth Tones Podcast Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/earthtones.podcast

🎞️ Personal Instagram https://www.instagram.com/earthmamaella

🎬 TikTok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@earthtones.podcast

🎥 YouTube:

https://www.youtube.com/@earthtones-podcast

In this episode, I sit down with my longtime friend Kyra to explore the journey from repression and perfectionism to authenticity, accountability, and emotional freedom. Together, we talk about the pressure to perform as the “perfect wife,” the hidden impact of childhood trauma, the chronic anxiety that comes from abandoning yourself, and the unraveling that happens when truth rises faster than we’re ready for.

Kyra shares the collapse of her former identity, the public fallout that forced a deeper awakening, and the shift from victimhood to radical responsibility. Our conversation reframes narcissism as a trauma response rather than an identity, examines why empaths often call in partners who mirror early wounds, and highlights the healing that becomes possible when boundaries, integrity, and self-worth take the lead.

This episode is for anyone who has ever lived someone else’s script, felt trapped in cycles they didn’t understand, or reached a point where choosing themselves became the only way forward.

🪽Connect with Kyra

🎞️ Recovering Empaths (Coaching):

https://www.instagram.com/recovering.empaths?igsh=OXNtM3JyMnN0N3dq

🎞️Personal Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/earthykyra?igsh=dzA4MnJuZ2ZjZ2N6

👩🏼‍💻Website and Programs:

http://www.recoveringempaths.com

🧑🏻‍💻Her Husband’s Coaching (Recovering Narcissists):

https://www.instagram.com/the.recovering.narcissist?igsh=MXcya2J0aGkyeGplag==

If You Are in an Abusive or Unsafe Relationship

National Domestic Violence Hotline (U.S.):

Call 1-800-799-7233

Text “START” to 88788

https://www.thehotline.org

RAINN – National Sexual Assault Hotline (U.S.):

Call 1-800-656-4673

https://www.rainn.org

Love Is Respect (for teens and young adults):

Call 1-866-331-9474

Text “LOVEIS” to 22522

https://www.loveisrespect.org

For international listeners, a global directory of crisis hotlines is available at:

https://www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines

If you are in immediate danger, call your local emergency number.

Connect with Host, Ella

🎞️ Earth Tones Podcast Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/earthtones.podcast

🎞️ Personal Instagram https://www.instagram.com/earthmamaella

🎬 TikTok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@earthtones.podcast

🎥 YouTube:

https://www.youtube.com/@earthtones-podcast

In this episode, we step into a conversation that goes beyond survival and motherhood.

It’s a testimony of faith, migration, and the quiet miracles God gives when you choose yourself.

Our guest shares her journey as a young immigrant mother who left her marriage — not because of abuse — but because she refused to live a life of limitation.

She was expected to be a traditional wife:

no work, no ambition, no income, no leadership.

Just child-rearing… and silence.

Instead, she listened to the voice in her spirit and chose freedom.

From immigration, to starting again in America, to raising boys without a father figure in the home, she talks about witnessing miracle after miracle — so many moments she can no longer deny the hand of God.

We talk about motherhood without martyrdom, discipline without fear, and raising sons without weaponizing our wounds. We talk about what it means to protect your children from the heaviness you carry, and to build a life where they never have to feel the lack you’ve endured.

She reminds us that if you are Christian, God is the Father — and that children showered in love don’t feel the absence of what was never safe to begin with.

You will walk away from this episode with a deeper sense of belonging, a renewed trust in God, and permission to dream again — even if you’re still climbing.

#earthtonespodcast #christianmotherhood #immigrantstories

🤎 Connect with Eve

Instagram:

🔗 https://www.instagram.com/evedzenne?igsh=MWZqeG5qdHhic3R2cA==

⸻

🌺 Connect with our mutual sister, Khalifa

Special thanks to Khalifa, the beautiful soul who connected us!

Host of the Happy Single Moms Podcast:

🔗 https://www.instagram.com/happy_singlemompodcast?igsh=MTZzNzhtNWYyY29udg==

⸻

🎙️ Connect with Your Host Ella / Earthmama

Personal IG (Ella):

🔗 https://www.instagram.com/earthmamaella

Earth Tones Podcast IG:

🔗 https://www.instagram.com/earthtones.podcast

Earth Tones TikTok:

🔗 https://www.tiktok.com/@earthtonespodcast

Earth Tones YouTube:

🔗 https://youtube.com/@earthtonespodcast?si=CQoyo9UZRIVlLEih