Alyssa thought she'd married the love of her life. What she didn't know was that her husband had been deceiving her in almost every way imaginable - an affair, gambling debts, drug use, and lies that unravelled her entire sense of reality. When he told Alyssa he wanted a divorce, she was completely blindsided.

What followed was one of the hardest seasons of her life. Severe anxiety and depression. Months of barely functioning. And the slow, painful work of rebuilding herself from the ground up.

In this episode, Alyssa shares the real story of how she got through it - the therapy, the medication, the army of support, the comfort TV, and the one decision that changed everything. She talks about solo travel as a path to rediscovering herself, what she learned about trust and red flags when she started dating again, and how she went on to double her salary, remarry a genuinely kind man, and build a life she never could have imagined.

This is the episode to share with a friend who has just been blindsided. It's honest, it's warm, and it's living proof that the other side exists - and it's even better than you might have hoped.

Links Mentioned

- G Adventures (group travel for solo travellers): gadventures.com

- Wi-Fi Tribe (remote work travel community): wifitribe.co

If You Need Mental Health Support Through A Tough Time Don't Hesitate To Contact:

- Beyond Blue - Anxiety and Depression Support (Australia): beyondblue.org.au

- Lifeline Australia (24/7 crisis support): lifeline.org.au

Send Carolyn a text

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Women's Divorce Academy offers expert divorce support and a friendly community of women who understand exactly what you're going through.

Learn more about our membership and divorce support: womensdivorceacademy.com

CONNECT WITH US:

Instagram: @womensdivorceacademy

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In this special episode, Carolyn is joined by her 21-year-old son Connor for an honest, warm, and sometimes confronting conversation about what it's really like to grow up through parental separation. Connor experienced two of Carolyn's separations – at age two and age twelve – and shares what helped, what didn't, and what he wishes had been done differently. An important listen for any parent worried about what divorce is doing to their children.

Key Takeaways

• Divorce is not inherently damaging – but children are far more perceptive than parents often realise. They can feel tension and unhappiness even without words for it.
• What children absorb from the relationship they witness matters. The dynamics they grow up around quietly shape their own relationship patterns.
• Consistency and communication – within your own home, and with your children – are the two most important factors in helping children through separation.
• Parallel parenting is a valid and supported option when co-parenting communication is difficult. Keeping an open channel with your children is what matters most.
• Listening to your children – even when it's uncomfortable – is more important than keeping up appearances of neutrality. They need to feel they aren't alone in their feelings.

Links and Resources Mentioned

• Women's Divorce Academy membership: https://www.womensdivorceacademy.com/our-program
• Kids Helpline: kidshelp.com.au
• Raising Children Network: raisingchildren.net.au
• Australian Psychological Society — Find a Psychologist: psychology.org.au/find-a-psychologist
• Relationships Australia: relationships.org.au

Send Carolyn a text

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Women's Divorce Academy offers expert divorce support and a friendly community of women who understand exactly what you're going through.

Learn more about our membership and divorce support: womensdivorceacademy.com

CONNECT WITH US:

Instagram: @womensdivorceacademy

Facebook: Women's Divorce Academy

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Ever stared at a pile of financial documents and felt completely out of your depth? Me too – but Julie Garis is here to help. Julie is a forensic accountant who specialises in helping women navigate the financial side of separation and property settlement. Julie has been through divorce herself – and she brings both professional expertise and lived experience to everything she does.

We cover what she actually does (and how it's different from what your lawyer does), the financial red flags to watch for, what to do if you suspect your ex isn't disclosing everything, and why 'fair' might not be the right thing to aim for – and what question to ask instead.

Key takeaways

• The earlier you get organised, the better. Arriving at your lawyer's office prepared (with a relationship timeline, asset list, and key financial documents) can save you significant legal fees.
• Business structures, crypto, undisclosed accounts and gambling are among the most common financial issues she encounters - and she shares what to do in those circumstances.
• 'Fair' is rarely how property settlement feels for either party. The better question is: can I live with this outcome?
• Financial clarity after settlement can be life-changing – many women discover their own competence with money for the first time.

Resources mentioned

• Julies' free First Steps: Financial Settlement Preparation checklist – https://www.simplesplitfinancials.com.au/checklist
• Naomi Holmes – women's financial literacy – listen to our podcast with Naomi in episode 1
• Women's Divorce Academy membership – womensdivorceacademy.com

Send Carolyn a text

READY FOR MORE SUPPORT?

Women's Divorce Academy offers expert divorce support and a friendly community of women who understand exactly what you're going through.

Learn more about our membership and divorce support: womensdivorceacademy.com

CONNECT WITH US:

Instagram: @womensdivorceacademy

Facebook: Women's Divorce Academy

SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW:

If this episode helped you, subscribe to Divorce With Carolyn and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show. Thank you!

If you're going through separation or divorce right now, this episode is for you. After seven years running Women's Divorce Academy and walking alongside over 800 women, I've seen the same 5 mistakes come up again and again – not because women aren't smart or capable, but because nobody tells them this stuff. In this episode I name each one clearly, explain why it happens, and share exactly what to do instead.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Getting independent legal advice early – even just one consultation – can change everything.
• Keeping things 'nice' is not the same as keeping things functional. You're allowed to have needs in this process.
• Equal and fair are not the same thing. 50/50 is not automatically the right outcome.
• Rushing to settle can cost you. Taking time to understand your situation leads to better decisions.
• Children are not primarily damaged by separation – they're damaged by sustained conflict. Having at least one stable, loving parent is what matters most.

RESEARCH MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

• Amato, P.R. & Keith, B. (1991). Parental divorce and the well-being of children: A meta-analysis. Psychological Bulletin, 110(1), 26–46.
• Arcangeli et al. (2024). Does Time Heal All Wounds? Journal of Happiness Studies. University of South Australia & University of Adelaide. doi.org/10.1007/s10902-024-00853-5
• Clark & Georgellis, Kingston University London — 20-year longitudinal study, 10,000 participants.

Send Carolyn a text

READY FOR MORE SUPPORT?

Women's Divorce Academy offers expert divorce support and a friendly community of women who understand exactly what you're going through.

Learn more about our membership and divorce support: womensdivorceacademy.com

CONNECT WITH US:

Instagram: @womensdivorceacademy

Facebook: Women's Divorce Academy

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Carolyn speaks with clinical nutritionist Susie Allen about what divorce and chronic stress actually do to your body – and what you can do about it. Susie draws on her own experience of two divorces and her clinical work to explain how the nervous system responds to prolonged pressure, why so many women find themselves wired but exhausted, and how simple nutritional choices can help break that cycle.

We talk about adrenaline and fight-or-flight, the gut-brain axis, protein at breakfast, resistant starch (and how potatoes can actually be your friend OMG), sleep disruption, alcohol, and quick meals for when you're running on empty.

Key takeaways

• Running on adrenaline depletes magnesium, B vitamins, and the building blocks for key neurotransmitters
• Protein at breakfast – within 30 to 60 minutes of waking, before coffee – sends a safety signal to your nervous system
• Cooking potatoes, rice, and pasta the day before and refrigerating overnight converts them to resistant starch – better for your gut and absorbed differently
• Late-night sugar and alcohol spike cortisol, disrupting sleep and contributing to the 3am wake-up (booooo!)
• Morning sunlight triggers the melatonin cycle and supports better evening sleep

Guest

Susie Allen — Nutritionist, Your Vitality Nutrition

• Website: www.yourvitalitynutrition.com.au
• Instagram & Facebook: @yourvitalitynutrition
• Ebook: Suddenly Single: https://yourvitalitynutrition.thrivecart.com/suddenly-single-ebook/

Resources mentioned

• Susie's ebook: Suddenly Single – https://yourvitalitynutrition.thrivecart.com/suddenly-single-ebook/ (or FREE inside the Women's Divorce Academy membership – www.womensdivorceacademy.com/our-program)
• Wholesomeness (Queensland, Northern NSW, Sydney, Melbourne) – wholesomeness.com.au
• Youfoodz – https://www.youfoodz.com/

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READY FOR MORE SUPPORT?

Women's Divorce Academy offers expert divorce support and a friendly community of women who understand exactly what you're going through.

Learn more about our membership and divorce support: womensdivorceacademy.com

CONNECT WITH US:

Instagram: @womensdivorceacademy

Facebook: Women's Divorce Academy

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If you've ever felt completely wired at 2am, unable to make decisions, or like you're operating purely on adrenaline – this episode is for you.

I'm joined by my brilliant friend Danielle Colley – integrative life coach and author, and someone who has walked this divorce road herself – to talk about what's actually happening to your nervous system during separation, why sleep feels impossible, how to parent through the fog, and what consistently moves women from survival mode to steadier ground.

Key Takeaways

• Your nervous system responds to divorce as though it's life-threatening danger because uncertainty activates the threat response
• Fight, flight, freeze, and fawn are all normal responses to separation stress
• Sleep disruption happens because your brain has nothing to do at night but worry – cortisol and adrenaline don't know it's bedtime
• The 'brain soup' technique – simply writing down everything in your head – can significantly reduce overnight spiralling
• You don't have to pretend to be fine in front of your children; age-appropriate honesty often brings you closer together
• Signs that you may need additional support: disengagement, inability to get out of bed, prolonged numbness or heightened emotion
• Three daily practices that move the needle: consistent sleep, a gratitude practice, and regular moments of pause
• Breathwork, somatic therapy, and EMDR can all help when talk therapy isn't enough
• The question 'What do I want?' eventually becomes available – and it's worth having a list ready when it does

Resources Mentioned

• Lifeline: 13 11 14 — lifeline.org.au
• 1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 — 1800respect.org.au
• Relationships Australia: 1300 364 277 — relationships.org.au
• Martin Seligman's gratitude research — positivepsychology.com

About Danielle Colley

Danielle Colley is an integrative life coach and author who works with women navigating major life transitions. She brings both professional training and personal lived experience to her work. You can find her at https://daniellecolley.com.au/

Send Carolyn a text

READY FOR MORE SUPPORT?

Women's Divorce Academy offers expert divorce support and a friendly community of women who understand exactly what you're going through.

Learn more about our membership and divorce support: womensdivorceacademy.com

CONNECT WITH US:

Instagram: @womensdivorceacademy

Facebook: Women's Divorce Academy

SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW:

If this episode helped you, subscribe to Divorce With Carolyn and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show. Thank you!

What if your divorce came without any shame at all? Not less shame – no shame? For most women, that question feels almost impossible to answer. In this episode, Carolyn explores the deep cultural, historical and personal roots of divorce shame, what the research says about how women's lives improve after separation, and four grounded ways to start loosening shame's grip. Plus a simple journalling exercise you can try tonight. Warm, honest, and evidence-backed.

Key takeaways

• Shame doesn't start at divorce – it activates something already present from cultural and personal conditioning.
• Women internalise relationship breakdowns far more than men, and research confirms this has measurable effects on mental health and self-esteem.
• A 20-year Kingston University study found women report significant increases in contentment and life satisfaction for up to five years after divorce.
• 100% of Women's Divorce Academy members surveyed (separated 12+ months) said they were happier after divorce.
• Shame can't survive being spoken aloud to one safe person — connection is the antidote.
• Patterns in your relationship history are not proof that something is intrinsically wrong with you. They reflect what you learned and believed you deserved — and that can change.
• A simple journalling exercise can help you examine and dismantle shame gently over time.

Resources mentioned

• Books
  • The Wife Drought — Annabel Crabb
  • Daring Greatly — Brené Brown
  • Self Help — Gabby Bernstein
• Research
  • BMC Psychology — Self-Stigma and Mental Health in Divorced Single-Parent Women
  • Kingston University 20-year study — ScienceDaily report
• Meditation
  • Insight Timer — free app
  • Sarah Blondin on Insight Timer
  • Tara Brach on Insight Timer
• Mental health support (Australia)
  • Mental health treatment plan — Healthdirect

Send Carolyn a text

READY FOR MORE SUPPORT?

Women's Divorce Academy offers expert divorce support and a friendly community of women who understand exactly what you're going through.

Learn more about our membership and divorce support: womensdivorceacademy.com

CONNECT WITH US:

Instagram: @womensdivorceacademy

Facebook: Women's Divorce Academy

SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW:

If this episode helped you, subscribe to Divorce With Carolyn and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show. Thank you!

When Gill's husband suddenly ended their 16-year marriage, she was blindsided. She thought they had a strong relationship - something they could work on together. Instead, the decision was made without her, and she was left reeling.

In the early days, Gill couldn't sleep. She was spiralling with catastrophic thoughts about her future and her children's wellbeing. She felt ashamed, broken, and terrified about what came next.

But with the support of friends, family, therapy, and a lot of hard work, Gill not only survived - she thrived. Eight years later, she's remarried, has a beautiful relationship with her teenage boys, and genuinely believes her divorce was the best thing that could have happened to her.

In this episode, we cover:

• What it's like when separation comes as a complete shock
• The shame and judgment Gill faced (especially at her children's Catholic school)
• How she built her parenting confidence as a single mum
• Why therapy and understanding how your brain works was a game-changer
• Meeting someone new on Tinder - and why she waited six years before moving in together
• The importance of evolving together in relationships
• What she'd tell herself in that first devastating week

Key takeaways:

• Your feelings are valid - all of them, including anger
• The only way through is through (as infuriating as that sounds)
• You don't have to follow anyone else's timeline for healing or dating
• Communication and staying true to yourself are essential in any relationship
• Recovery takes time, but it is absolutely possible

If you're going through separation right now and struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel, Gill's story will remind you that you can not only survive this - you can build something even better on the other side.

Resources mentioned:

• Women's Divorce Academy coaching and community
• Tara Brach's RAIN technique
• Mental health care plans through your GP (Australia only)

Send Carolyn a text

READY FOR MORE SUPPORT?

Women's Divorce Academy offers expert divorce support and a friendly community of women who understand exactly what you're going through.

Learn more about our membership and divorce support: womensdivorceacademy.com

CONNECT WITH US:

Instagram: @womensdivorceacademy

Facebook: Women's Divorce Academy

SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW:

If this episode helped you, subscribe to Divorce With Carolyn and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show. Thank you!