We don't normally record during the international break, but when Manchester City get found guilty on 114 of the 115 charges, you make an exception.

In this special episode, Dave, Paul and Adam break down what City were actually charged with, why Dave is calling it pure fraud, and how City escaped UEFA on a technicality last time. Paul makes the case that modern football isn't built for new clubs to break into the elite, sparking a debate on salary caps and whether City could have done it the slow way.

Then the big question: what's the right punishment? Fines, transfer bans, expulsion, points deductions or stripping titles, the boys go through them all. Paul puts a number on the points deduction, Dave explains why sending City down isn't as simple as it sounds, and Adam brings up Lance Armstrong and the Melbourne Storm.

Plus: Did Pep know? Will City still be in the Premier League by May? And the argument of the night: did Chelsea cheat? Paul says no. Dave has thoughts. Lots of them.

Oh, and Paul has discovered Instagram collabs.

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Paul's out. Not with a cold, not with a virus, but with "a virus without the viral symptoms" and a bad case of sore legs, delivered via voice memo roughly ninety seconds after his Chelsea got flogged 3-0 at Brentford. Funny that. So it's two Liverpool fans, no Chelsea in the room to fight back, and open season.

Dave and Adam tear through a loaded weekend: Chelsea's heart-monitor season and why Alonso is somehow untouchable, Arsenal getting dismantled 3-0 at Brighton in maybe the performance of the season, and Dave's grand unified theory of why you hate a title winner (bad football, cheating, or bad characters, and why Klopp's Liverpool passed all three).

Then it's the good, the bad and the ugly: Jeremy Jacquet's breakout, the Florian Wirtz flop debate, Liverpool grinding out Bournemouth, Man City going five from five with Haaland's golden boot locked, the charges that never seem to land, Manchester United's first-ever home loss after leading at half-time in 551 games, Spurs sitting dead last, and El Sackico looming. Plus a Ballon d'Or rant and the sack-race sweepstakes.

Up the Reds. Get well soon, Paul. Allegedly.

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Dave and Paul are back for Season 2, Episode 3, and this week kicks off with possibly the least football related opening in the show's history.

Before a ball is kicked, the lads go to war over toilet paper (over or under), whether you sit or stand to do your business, and the now infamous Hyrox poo saga that has to be heard to be believed. Dave is horrified. Paul is defending the indefensible. Standard.

Then the football arrives, and it is all about the Manchester derby. Ten-man City beat United, and there are no excuses. The boys thrash out the Foden red card, the Bruno Fernandes simulation question, the offside goal the refs later admitted was wrong, and whether VAR consistency is just a pipe dream. That spills into the big one: with United this bad, are they even the biggest club in Manchester anymore, let alone England?

Elsewhere, Arsenal are the real deal even if Dave reckons watching them is like a UFC fighter grinding out a submission. Paul makes his case for Xabi Alonso's Chelsea as a work in progress, Dave defends Iraola's Liverpool through a rough patch and a brutal 100 million pound flop debate, and Spurs keep another clean sheet while forgetting how to score. Plus a quickfire yes or no round, the Carrick sack watch, and a definitive ruling on "have your cake and eat it too."

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