Why did I stop using dating apps after 50?

It wasn’t because I gave up on love. It was because I started noticing that dating apps were changing the way I felt about dating, men, and even relationships. Instead of feeling hopeful and curious, I was becoming frustrated, guarded, and, if I’m being truthful, a little cynical.

In this episode of Dating After 50, I’m sharing why I stepped away from dating apps, the good and the bad I experienced, and why I don’t believe apps themselves are necessarily the problem. Sometimes it’s about recognizing when the way we’re dating is no longer good for us.

We’ll also talk about the important difference between discernment and cynicism. Because after heartbreak, ghosting, mixed signals, and disappointing dates, it’s easy to convince ourselves that being cynical means we’re being smart. But protecting yourself doesn’t have to mean closing yourself off to love.

I’m sharing the steps I’ve taken to become more open again, including changing the dating content I consume, getting back into the real world, building a life I genuinely enjoy, practicing curiosity instead of suspicion, and redefining what a “successful” dating experience actually looks like.

Most importantly, I’m asking a question that has changed dating for me:

Instead of asking, “Where are all the good men?” what if we asked, “Who do I want to be while I’m looking for love?”

If dating has left you exhausted, discouraged, or wondering whether healthy love is still possible after 50, this conversation is for you.

You don’t have to lower your standards.

You don’t have to ignore red flags.

And you definitely don’t have to give up on love.

You may simply need to change the way you’re looking for it.

Dating After 50 with Robin Richardson, Your Psychic Girlfriend — soulful, smart, sassy conversations about dating, relationships, self-trust, and choosing love without losing yourself.

Forget Love Languages: What’s Your Apology Language?

We’ve all heard about love languages. But have you ever thought about your apology language?

I hadn’t — until a man at a singles event asked me about it.

And that one question got me thinking: Maybe one of the most important things to know about someone you’re dating isn’t just how they show love. Maybe it’s how they handle things when they get love wrong.

Because anyone can be charming when everything is going well. The real test of emotional maturity often comes when feelings get hurt, there’s a misunderstanding, or someone makes a mistake.

Can they take responsibility?

Can they listen without immediately defending themselves?

Can they say, “I was wrong” without adding a “but”?

And most importantly, does their behavior actually change after the apology?

In this episode of Dating After 50 with Robin, we explore the five apology languages and what they can teach us about dating, relationships, conflict and emotional maturity.

We also talk about something even bigger: the difference between a mistake that deserves repair and a pattern that deserves a boundary.

And we’re turning the mirror around, too.

How do YOU apologize?

Can you hear that you’ve hurt someone without immediately explaining your intentions? Can you take responsibility for your part while still honoring yourself?

Because dating after 50 isn’t about finding someone who never makes a mistake.

It’s about becoming rooted enough in yourself to recognize someone who knows how to repair one.

• What the five apology languages are
• Why “I’m sorry you feel that way” usually doesn’t feel like an apology
• The difference between regret and real accountability
• Why changed behavior matters more than beautiful words
• Mistakes vs. patterns — and knowing when it’s time for a boundary
• What healthy relationship repair actually looks like
• A surprisingly revealing question to ask someone you’re dating
• How to identify what YOU need in order for an apology to feel sincere

“When there’s a rupture between us, what helps you feel like we’ve actually repaired it?”

And here’s another question worth remembering:

After we repair, do I feel more connected — or more confused?

That answer can tell you a lot.

Dating After 50 with Robin is about building self-trust, discernment, confidence, and emotional security so you can recognize and choose healthy love — without abandoning yourself in the process.

Why do some people jump into a new relationship almost immediately after a divorce or breakup, while others take years before they're ready to love again?

In this episode of Dating After 50 with Robin, we're looking beyond the usual advice about rebound relationships and asking a much more important question: What happens to our sense of self when a long-term relationship ends, and what can the space between relationships teach us?

Research on romantic breakups has found that the end of a relationship can disrupt what psychologists call self-concept clarity, our sense of who we are and what defines us. Studies by Erica Slotter, Wendi Gardner and Eli Finkel found that romantic partners often develop overlapping identities, routines and social worlds, which can leave us asking, Who am I without this person? after the relationship ends.

Research by Grace Larson and David Sbarra also found that improvements in self-concept clarity following a breakup were connected with decreases in breakup-related emotional intrusion and loneliness.

But here's the surprising part: research doesn't support the blanket assumption that getting into another relationship quickly is automatically unhealthy. Claudia Brumbaugh and R. Chris Fraley found that people in new relationships reported greater confidence in their desirability and more resolution regarding their former partners. Among people who had begun new relationships, moving on more quickly was associated with some measures of greater psychological and relational health.

So maybe the question isn't:

“How long should I wait before dating again?”

Maybe it's:

“What am I doing with the space between relationships?”

We'll talk about rebuilding your identity after divorce, the difference between choosing someone and using someone to escape loneliness, carrying unresolved relationship patterns into something new, and why being alone for a period of time can be an opportunity to develop the self-awareness and relationship skills that help create healthier love the next time around.

Because dating after 50 isn't about finding another relationship as quickly as possible.

It's about being able to recognize—and participate in—a healthy one when it arrives.

• Slotter, E. B., Gardner, W. L., & Finkel, E. J. (2010). Who Am I Without You? The Influence of Romantic Breakup on the Self-Concept. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin.

• Larson, G. M., & Sbarra, D. A. (2015). Participating in Research on Romantic Breakups Promotes Emotional Recovery via Changes in Self-Concept Clarity. Social Psychological and Personality Science.

• Brumbaugh, C. C., & Fraley, R. C. (2015). Too Fast, Too Soon? An Empirical Investigation Into Rebound Relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships.

Research discussed