Épisodes

  • 307: Crack Chicken, Fast Fashion & Hiking Truths | Dam Internet, You Scary ft. Rob Haze & Jasmine Ellis
    Jun 19 2025
    Dam Internet, You Scary! hosts Patrick Cloud and Tahir Moore break down the disturbing but interesting stories on the internet! This episode is sponsored by Better Help., 🎙️ Hosts Tahir Moore 💬 Comedian • Actor • Podcaster 📲 @tahirmoore https://www.instagram.com/tahirmoore/ Patrick Cloud 🧠 Music Nerd • Thought Leader • Meme Surgeon 📲 @PatrickCloudChannel https://www.instagram.com/patrickcloud/ 🎉 Guests Rob Haze 👟🎤 Stand-Up Comedian • Writer • Sneaker Enthusiast 📲 @RobHaZepresents https://www.instagram.com/robhaze/ Jasmine Ellis 💄🎙️ Comedian • Podcast Host • Makeup Maven 📲 https://www.instagram.com/jasmineelliscomedy/ 👩🏽‍🌾 Producer Hippie Goals 🌿🎬 Creative Producer • Gardener • Content Strategist 📲 @HippieGoals https://www.instagram.com/hippiegoalz/ What do Bobby Brown’s crack chicken, hiking as therapy, male lace underwear, and doo-doo daddy fashion have in common? They all go way left on this episode of Dam Internet, You Scary! 💀 This week, Rob Haze and Real Alice join us for an unfiltered convo on everything from fashion throwbacks and celeb memoirs to why Forever 21 failed us. We also touch on BetterHelp, BlueChew, and why Marie Kondo gave up after kids 😂 🔔 Subscribe for weekly laughs, real talk, and absurdity that can only come from your favorite verified duo! ✨ Sponsored by IndaCloud + BetterHelp + BlueChew 🎧 Available wherever you stream your podcasts 📌 Stay connected: #DIYS #RobHaze #JasmineEllis 00:00 – Off the Spectrum & Ironing Millennial Shame 02:16 – Bobby Brown’s Crack Chicken Fiasco 04:06 – Celebrity Biographies & Atomic Habits Hit Different 07:07 – Ron Jeremy & Revenge Eating: LA Comedy Hustle 09:03 – Bringer Shows & Early Comedy Culture Scams 11:03 – Hiking in LA: From Hell No to Healing 13:03 – Sober Walks & Conversation Cards 14:45 – Secret Hikes, Edibles & Candy Blunts 16:00 – Fart Trails, Forest Resets, and Step Goals 18:18 – Cartoonish Parkour and Griffith Trail Confessions 21:01 – The Late Intro: Rob Haze and the Burp Heard Round the World 22:50 – Gassy Confessions & Trail Toot Etiquette 24:31 – Body Positivity or White Lady Shade? 26:31 – Forever 21’s Men’s Line & The Zara Time Warp 29:01 – Fast Fashion vs Vintage Quality 32:13 – Women’s Fake Pockets & The Male Purse Agenda 34:07 – The Vest Era, Hillary Clinton Drip & Valet Misfires 36:01 – Doo-Doo Mamas, Daddies & 2000s Club Fashion 38:01 – Who Runs Fashion? Not Rappers Anymore 40:46 – ASAP Rocky’s Tap Shoes & Crocs Go Couture 42:44 – Zendaya’s Heel Game & Rihanna’s Reign 45:01 – Male Lace Underwear & Savage Fenty Secrets 47:11 – Men’s Mental Health Month & Breaking the Therapy Stigma 49:16 – Movie Props, Hiking Stores, and TJ Maxx as Nature 52:01 – Batman Tools, Ghostbusters Gear, and Fashion Nostalgia Closes It Out S/O to our sponsors IndaCloud 👉 Ready to elevate responsibly? Visit https://indacloud.co/ and use promo code DIYs to get 25% off your first order plus free shipping. 💨 Legal. Lab-tested. Delivered discreetly. Your couch just got way more comfortable. BetterHelp 🧠 Taking care of your mind is not weakness — it’s wisdom. Get started with therapy at https://www.BetterHelp.com/DIYS to get 10% off your first month. Blue Chew 🚀 Want to level up in the bedroom? Head to https://www.BlueChew.com and use promo code DIYs for your first month free — just pay $5 shipping. 🟦 Discreet. Doctor-approved. Delivered. Stay ready so you don’t have to get ready. 😏 💬 It’s private, affordable, and done entirely online. Real men get help. You should too. Join our Patreon now!! https://www.patreon.com/DamInternetYouScary
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    1 h et 7 min
  • 306: Oreo Soda, Empanada Revenge & BET Awards First-Timers with Malcolm Barrett and Chris Sneed
    Jun 16 2025
    Chris Sneed and Malcolm Barrett pull up to Damn Internet, You Scary! for a wild, hilarious convo that covers everything from awkward stand-up sets to Malcolm’s injury and filming in Cape Town. Chris drops details on his upcoming comedy special I Need Urgent Care (June 26 at The Regent Theater – GET TICKETS!). Plus, we get into BET Awards first-timers, sleep paralysis aliens, and that infamous skydiving story.

    🎟️ Get Tickets to Chris Sneed's Comedy Special:
    📅 June 26, 7 PM @ The Regent Theater, Los Angeles
    🎫 https://regentdtla.com/tm-event/chris-sneed-i-need-urgent-care-live-taping/
    Use code HEALTHCARE for first responder discounts!

    🎤 Featuring:
    Chris Sneed https://www.instagram.com/itschrissneed/
    Malcolm Barrett https://www.instagram.com/verbalberappin/
    Hosted by @tahirmoore & @PatrickCloudChannel
    Producer: @HippieGoals

    📲 Like, Comment & Subscribe for more wild stories & nerdy chaos!

    00:00:00 – Malcolm Returns from Africa
    00:00:41 – Airport Shirts, Comedy Introductions
    00:01:56 – Vouching Gone Wrong: “This Is The Show”
    00:03:16 – Stand-Up Bombing & Weird Gigs
    00:04:32 – Fake Jewelry & Speech Impediment Roasts
    00:06:35 – Chris Sneed Announces Comedy Special
    00:08:24 – Healthcare Workers Discount Promo
    00:10:29 – Malcolm Talks Filming in Cape Town
    00:12:00 – Malcolm's Torn Achilles, Written into the Script
    00:13:32 – BET Awards: First-Time Invite Reflections
    00:14:40 – On-Set Medics, Ginger Ale as Treatment?
    00:18:47 – Freestyle Rap Battle: “Book Your Appointment!”
    00:23:15 – Empanada Revenge Poisoning Story
    00:41:33 – Juicing Oreos and Underground Soda?
    00:43:39 – Sleep Paralysis & Seeing Scary Visitors
    00:47:00 – Rolls Royce Submarine & Alien Conspiracies
    00:49:07 – Skydiving Fail: Suit Too Tight, Plane Still Took Off
    00:58:20 – Florida Man in Human Hamster Wheel
    01:00:08 – Final Promo: “I Need Urgent Care” Special June 26
    01:03:44 – Gift Exchange + Outro Keychains & Comedy Love

    #ComedySpecial #ChrisSmith #MalcolmBarrett #DamnInternetYouScary #BETAwards #Ineedurgentcare #SleepParalysis #StandUpComedy #DIYScary #ToHearMoore #PatrickCloud #AverageJoe #CapeTown #Comedy #BlackComedians



    Join our Patreon now!!
    https://www.patreon.com/DamInternetYouScary
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    1 h et 6 min
  • 305: Hiking Horror Stories, Night Vision Eye Drops, and Surgeon Madness! | Chaz & Dion on DIYS
    Jun 5 2025
    🤣 You ever been so tired on a hike you drank water straight from public water fountain? Chaz and Deon pull up to Damn Internet, You Scary to talk insane hikes, Oreo Coca-Cola collabs, and a surgeon who left a patient MID-SPINE SURGERY to cash a check 😳.

    We also break down the science behind night vision eye drops, how Haagen-Dazs is fake bougie, and the all-female gang that ran 1920s London 💅💥

    You don’t want to miss this one.

    🎙️ Hosted by @TahiryMoore & @PatrickCloud

    💥 Guests:
    Chaz Rodgers https://www.instagram.com/imchazrodgers/
    Dion Lack https://www.instagram.com/dionlack/
    @LackaroniandChazPodcast
    📺 Watch the full episode now and don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe!

    👉🏾 Clip this up and send to your crew – it’s pure chaos from start to finish.

    Sponsors:
    Blue Chew
    https://www.bluechew.com/ Promo Code: DIYS

    Factor
    https://www.factormealsc.ccom/diys50off and use code diys50off

    0:00 - Intro & Set Vibes
    0:29 - Hiking with Comedians: Survival of the Fittest
    2:00 - Why Talking While Hiking is a Trap
    3:00 - Waterfall Desperation & Dehydration Drama
    4:12 - Keenan Baker’s Legendary Hiking Fail
    5:39 - Chaz’s Secret Stand-Up Tapes (and “using” them)
    6:20 - Jerking Off to Stand-Up?!
    7:00 - Looney Tunes Freestyle Segment Begins
    9:00 - Deon Drops Bars: DIYS Style
    10:30 - Black Excellence & Chaz’s Show
    12:00 - Deon the Renaissance Man: Author, Director, Dad
    14:20 - Oreo Coca-Cola & Snack Collabs We Didn’t Ask For
    17:00 - FACTOR Meal Sponsor Read (🔥 seamless transition)
    20:00 - Surgeon Leaves Patient Mid-Spine Surgery to Cash Check?!
    23:45 - Would You Take Nerve Damage for $1.2M?
    28:30 - Night Vision Eye Drops Are Real?!
    30:00 - Practical Uses for Night Vision (and pure chaos)
    35:00 - LASIK Talk, Bad Contact Lens Habits
    38:30 - BlueChew Read: Bricked Up for the Summer 😂
    42:00 - The 40 Elephants: London’s All-Female Gangsters
    44:00 - Breaking Down Their Look & Casting the Movie
    47:00 - The Swedish Toothache Prison Escape
    50:00 - Musty Friends & How to Call Them Out
    53:00 - Final Thoughts & Upcoming Shows
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    58 min
  • 304: Streamer U, Final Destination IRL & Scary Twins 👯‍♀️
    May 29 2025
    From terrifying Final Destination screenings to AI destroying the planet 🤖🌍, this week’s Damn Internet, You Scary is PACKED with wild stories, conspiracy-level facts, and hilarious commentary from Patrick Cloud & Tahir Moore. We break down Kai Cenat’s Streamer University 🏫, the haunted Helios Flight 👻✈️, standing-room-only airline nightmares 🧍🏽‍♂️, and the world's weirdest service animals 🐀🦊.

    Scary squad, you're in for a ride. Buckle up.

    🛎️ Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and turn on notifications!

    ✨ Sponsored by Green Chef – Use code 50DIYs to get 50% OFF your first month + 20% OFF for 2 months & free shipping 🍽️💚

    Producer: @HippieGoals

    ⏱️ TIMESTAMPS & CHAPTERS:

    00:00 – Morning routines & 4-mile hikes 🚶🏽‍♂️
    00:52 – Back in the stock market 💹
    03:09 – AI is ruining the environment?! 🤯
    06:00 – Kai Cenat’s Streamer University is genius 🎥📱
    10:14 – Final Destination screening becomes real-life horror 😱🎬
    13:38 – Is this the best horror movie marketing ever?
    16:02 – The eerie “Jim Twins” story 🧬
    18:01 – The Silent Twins & psychic twin theory 👭
    20:15 – Green Chef ad 🍲 (code: 50DIYs)
    23:01 – Cooking at home & sushi class dreams 🍣
    23:50 – STANDING-ONLY airplane seats?! 🚫🪑
    29:20 – The haunting story of Helios Flight 522 🛫👻
    35:16 – ZIP codes & how mail really works ✉️📮
    37:21 – Crosswalk rules & street name secrets 🚦
    41:08 – Minecraft’s banned news library 🧱📰
    46:17 – The Minecraft creator’s sad billionaire story 😔
    48:03 – Musical-watching dogs?! 🐶🎭
    50:22 – The world’s weirdest “service animals” 🦨🦚🐍
    52:11 – Final laughs & wrap-up 😂🎤

    Join our Patreon now!!
    https://www.patreon.com/DamInternetYouScary
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    54 min
  • 303: Buried Alive, Nutmeg Trips & Fake Kidnappings?! on DIYS
    May 22 2025
    💥 This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.

    This week on Damn Internet, You Scary!, Tahir Moore and Patrick Cloud dive headfirst into some of the wildest, weirdest, and WTF-worthy stories from around the internet. From the woman who woke up at her own funeral 💀➡️😲 to a man who faked his own kidnapping just to hit the club 🎉😬… it’s giving unhinged internet energy all episode long.

    🔥 What’s inside this insanity:

    A real-life zombie funeral moment 🧟‍♀️
    TikTok teens tripping on nutmeg and why that’s DEAD serious 🥄☠️
    A deep convo about soul food, tacos, and black culture’s food evolution 🌮🍖
    Tahir gets vulnerable talking about therapy, trauma, and how holding hands became an act of courage 🫱🏽‍🫲🏾💔
    Oh—and two identical twins BOTH paying child support 😳👶🏽👶🏽

    🚨 Plus: Sponsored segments that actually slap:

    🧠 BetterHelp (because therapy is for real ones)
    https://www.betterhelp.com/diys

    💳 Kikoff (fix ya credit, fam!)
    Start building credit with Kikoff today, and you can get your first month for as little as one dollar. That’s 80% off the normal price when you go to https://www.getkikoff.com/DIYS today.

    💸 Cash App (because we like fast money)
    Download Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/crftch8p #CashAppPod *Referral Reward Disclaimer: As a Cash App partner, I may earn a commission when you sign up for a Cash App account.

    For a limited time only, new Cash App users can use our exclusive code to earn some additional cash. For real - there’s no catch. Just download Cash App & sign up! Use our exclusive referral code [DIYS10] in your profile, send $5 to a friend within 14 days, and you’ll get $10 dropped right into your account. Terms apply. That’s Money. That’s Cash App.

    Scary. Funny. Healing. Ridiculous. Just another episode of DIYS. 🙌🏽

    👇🏽 Timestamps & Highlights Below!
    🎯 Don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe if you laughed, gasped, or clutched your pearls.

    00:00 – Waking Up at Your Own Funeral?!!
    02:48 – Taco Bell vs. Real Mexican Tacos
    04:33 – Black Folks & Soul Food Tacos
    07:00 – Taco Truck Culture Shock
    10:38 – Wild Rice, Quinoa, and Mediterranean Eating
    12:07 – The Cheat Day Debate
    15:00 – Ad Read – BetterHelp
    18:44 – Tahir Opens Up About Communication & Trauma
    22:07 – Relationship Growth & Past Abuse Triggers
    27:04 – Holding Hands Feels ‘Sweet’ but Unsafe?
    30:03 – Fight or Flight in Public: A Real One's Reflex
    31:30 – KevOnStage, Hustle Envy, & Depression Talk
    33:00 – Church & the Illuminati (Yes, Really)
    34:24 – The Nutmeg Challenge: TikTok’s Dumbest Trend
    40:22 – Ad Read – Kickoff Credit Builder
    44:01 – Buried Alive: The Essie Dunbar Story
    47:00 – Who Fakes a Kidnapping to Party?!
    50:20 – Ad Read – Cash App
    51:00 – Brazilian Twins & Child Support Drama
    56:00 – Man Buys Storage Unit With $7.5M in Cash
    58:22 – Would You Return the Money… or Disappear?
    01:03:00 – Real ID Laws & Washed Money Warnings
    01:04:23 – The Coughing Millionaire Game Show Scam
    01:09:00 – Wrap-Up & Upcoming Shows

    Producer @hippiegoals

    #DIYS #DamnInternetYouScary #TahirMoore #PatrickCloud #NutmegChallenge #FunnyPodcast #BlackPodcasts #ScaryStorie
    Join our Patreon now!!
    https://www.patreon.com/DamInternetYouScary
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    1 h et 10 min
  • 302: Conspiracy Corner: The Flatwoods Monster, AI Aliens, and Trees That Talk with Comedian CP
    May 20 2025
    Welcome to the pilot episode of Conspiracy Corner! Hosts Tahir Moore and Patrick Cloud kick off the series with an epic dive into strange phenomena, ancient mysteries, and modern tech paranoia. Special guest CP joins to explore how seemingly unrelated conspiracies—from walking trees to ancient aliens—might all be connected.

    This episode covers:

    • The mysterious Flatwoods Monster encounter of 1952

    • If AI was gifted to us by aliens to mask their presence

    • Evolution’s weirdest tricks: spiders, glowing fish, and tree animals

    • The idea that God might just be running a simulation

    • What animals like dogs, whales, and sharks might already know about the universe

    • Red night vision goggles revealing demonic creatures during war

    It’s a wild, funny, and thought-provoking start to the series. Strap in and question everything!

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    31 min
  • 301: What’s Scarier: Ocean or Space? on DIYS with Sam Salem ​
    May 15 2025
    🤣 Welcome back to another wild ride on Dam Internet, You Scary! This week we’ve got your kid’s favorite teacher and internet chaos gremlin — Sam Salem — back in the building! 🎤🍽️

    https://www.instagram.com/samuelsleeves

    We are talking about:
    🥞 Writing essays at IHOP
    🔥 Petty clapbacks to internet trolls
    🐶 Why he refuses to call the dog “his”
    📞 Garfield phones mysteriously washing up on beaches
    🧱 And yes… the Bricked Up Boys are officially a thing now 👀💀

    Also…
    👩🏽‍🚀 Ocean vs. Space debate gets weird
    📦 A Chinese business owner drives 500 miles to throw hands over a bad review
    🤯 The weirdest compliment Sam ever got from a troll

    💬 Hosted by Tahir Moore & Patrick Cloud
    📺 New episodes every week with the funniest people on the internet.
    👊🏾 Don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT, & SUBSCRIBE — or we might mail your roast to your job 📫🔥

    🔗 Chapters & Timestamps below!
    #DIYS #DamnInternetYouScary #SamSalem #ComedyPodcast #BrickedUpBoys #GarfieldPhone #PettyLevel100 #IHOPEssays

    00:00 – Sam Salem Returns: Panic Writing & Pancake Strategy
    02:30 – Sam’s Secret Weapon: All-You-Can-Eat Pancakes
    06:00 – Ginger Identity, Black Culture & Locks Debate
    13:30 – AI, Black Twitter & Sam’s Viral Videos
    17:00 – Cowboy Carter & Beyoncé Concert FOMO
    21:30 – Country Remixes That Shouldn’t Exist
    28:00 – The “Dog That Lives In My House”
    35:00 – Bricked Up Lifestyle & BlueChew Madness
    41:00 – The Great Garfield Phone Mystery
    44:30 – Internet Trolls, Doxxing, and Petty Revenge
    53:00 – Space vs Ocean: What’s Scarier?
    1:02:00 – DIYS Sign-Off & Final Laughs

    S/O to our Sponsors
    Blue Chew
    https://www.bluechew.com promo code: DIYS

    Prize Picks
    Download the app today and use code DIYS to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup!
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    59 min
  • 300: Crows Hold GRUDGES?! This Bird Attacks Her EVERY Day! on DIYS with Chris Sneed
    May 9 2025
    A crow that attacks ONE person every day?! Parrots ordering snacks on Alexa?? Cartel graveyards with air conditioning and balconies?! This episode of Dam Internet, You Scary! is full of the most insane real-life stories that’ll leave you shook and in stitches.

    💀 From birds with vendettas to million-dollar mausoleums, Tahir, Patrick, and guest Chris Sneed break it all down with nonstop laughs and wild takes.

    🎟️ Plus: Chris Sneed is filming his stand-up special “I Need Urgent Care” on June 26th at the Regent Theater — don’t miss it!
    https://www.ticketmaster.com/event/0900627BE3654976?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAaeaIzJ6tdwJsC5yVBOdn-IQ-BjTplSDJedGGtgu390WM6HPUY4cNC1mq4vUyA_aem_KwNEdvAIjRpICjH3j9Jj-A

    🔔 Subscribe now for more hilarious episodes: @DamInternetYouScary

    🎙️ Producer: @HippieGoals

    📱 Follow the hosts:
    @tahirmoore | @PatrickCloudChannel

    Guest: Chris Sneed https://www.instagram.com/itschrissneed/

    🕒 CHAPTERS:
    Join our Patreon now!!
    https://www.patreon.com/DamInternetYouScary
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    1 h et 3 min