Keywords

authenticity, burnout, seasonal affective disorder, melanin paradox, self-care, high achievers, mental health, winter blues, emotional well-being, productivity

Summary

In this conversation, Burgandy Holiday discusses the importance of embracing authenticity, managing burnout, and understanding the impact of seasonal changes on mental health. She emphasizes the need for self-care, especially during winter, and addresses the unique challenges faced by high achievers, particularly in relation to the melanin paradox and societal expectations. The discussion provides valuable insights and tools for navigating these challenges while maintaining emotional well-being.

Chapters

01:10 Understanding the Biology of the Shadow

04:19 Understanding Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

06:20 The Melanin Paradox and Vitamin D Deficiency

08:32 The Superwoman Schema and Biological Needs

10:16 Understanding the Biology and Psychology of Winter

15:40 Navigating the Internal Conflict: Manager vs. Winter Child

16:23 Introduction to Crown Straightening Tools

16:54 The 70% Rule

18:30 The Unmasked Circle

19:35 Setting Boundaries with Self-Mastery

21:41 Embracing the Winter Season of Rest

22:32 Thanks for Listening

Keywords

both/and practice, duality, grief, radical acceptance, personal growth, systemic injustice, emotional resilience, leadership, family dynamics, life lessons

Summary

In this conversation, Burgandy Holiday discusses the concept of the 'both/and' practice, which encourages individuals to hold two opposing truths simultaneously. She shares a personal story about her aunt's passing on her birthday, illustrating how she navigated grief while embracing personal growth and leadership within her family. The discussion emphasizes the importance of radical acceptance in recognizing both the challenges of systemic injustice and the moments of joy in life.

Takeaways

The both/and practice helps in holding dual truths.

Grief can coexist with personal growth.

Embracing leadership roles in family dynamics is vital.

Radical acceptance allows for a balanced perspective. The

negativity bias can be countered with conscious choice.

Personal stories can illustrate broader emotional truths.

Finding gratitude in difficult moments is empowering.

Acknowledging systemic injustice is important.

Emotional resilience is built through acceptance.

Life's challenges can lead to new opportunities for growth.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Be True Counseling

04:19 Crisis Energy Rest

06:17 BOTH/AND Thinking

12:15 Internal Family Systems brief overview

14:15 Boundaries are Life Preservers

18:03 Gratitude from the Inside, Out

18:58 Science as Receipts

19:55 Episode review

21:25 Credits

Have you ever had 99 people tell you you’re doing an amazing job, but you spend all week obsessing over the one person who said something negative?

You aren’t crazy, and you aren’t broken. You are actually dealing with something called Negativity Bias.

In this episode of Crown Straightening Sessions, we are digging into why our brains are hardwired to ignore the sunset and focus on the "lion in the grass." I’m sharing why your brain tries to trick you into feeling small and giving you practical, research-based tools to rewire your thoughts and stand in your power.

• Why we focus on the bad: Understanding that your brain is trying to protect you from ancient threats (lions) that don't exist in your modern office job.

• The "Truthteller" Myth: Why does that one negative comment feel like the absolute truth, while the compliments feel like lies? We explain why your brain treats criticism as a survival warning, making it feel "heavier" and more real than praise.

• Cognitive Restructuring made simple: How to be the editor of your own life story and use the "Red Pen" of gratitude to cross out the lies your anxiety tells you.

• Gratitude from the Inside Out: Moving beyond being thankful for your coffee. We talk about thanking yourself for your resilience, your humor, and your strength.

Why You Can't "Smoke and Swim" (The Competing Response)

Anxiety and gratitude cannot live in your brain at the same time. Think of it this way: You can’t smoke a cigarette while you are swimming underwater. It is physically impossible.

In the same way, when you force your brain to focus on gratitude (swimming), you physically stop the cycle of anxiety (smoking). It switches your nervous system from "fight or flight" to "rest and digest."

The One Negative Review

Imagine a performer gets a standing ovation from the whole room, but one person on social media calls them "overrated." Why do we believe that one person is the only one "willing to speak the truth"?

This is your survival brain lying to you. It convinces you that the threat (the critic) is the only thing that matters because it wants you to stay safe and small. We talk about how to recognize this lie and look at the probability of the threat versus the possibility.

1. Name the Betrayal: When you spiral, say out loud: "That is my negativity bias. That is not the whole truth."

2. Use a Competing Response: Find a physical object (like a pen) or a thought of gratitude to break the anxiety loop.

3. Inside-Out Gratitude: Write down one thing you are grateful for about who you are (e.g., "I am grateful for my own persistence").

🔗 Mentioned in this Episode:

• Read the full blog post: Your Brain’s Betrayal: Fighting the Negativity Bias

• Listen to the show: Crown Straightening Sessions on Spotify

• Connect with Be True Counseling: www.betruecounseling.com

Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and share this episode with a Queen who needs to hear it!

Keywords: Negativity bias, high functioning anxiety, perfectionism recovery, cognitive behavioral therapy, mental health for black women, self-compassion, burnout strategies.

Keywords:

Imposter Syndrome, Self-Mastery, Gratitude, Neuroplasticity, Mental Health, Affirmations, Daily Rituals, Positive Thinking, Emotional Regulation, Personal Growth

Summary:

In this conversation, Burgandy Holiday explores the themes of imposter syndrome, self-mastery, and the power of gratitude practices. She discusses how imposter syndrome manifests in high achievers and offers strategies to combat it through daily rituals. The importance of self-mastery is emphasized as a means of regulating one's internal narrative and emotional responses. The neuroscience behind gratitude practices is also examined, highlighting their role in emotional regulation and overall well-being. Finally, Burgandy provides actionable steps for daily reflection and growth, encouraging listeners to embrace their journey towards authenticity and self-care.

Takeaways:

• Imposter syndrome exists in the gap between competence and confidence.
• Daily rituals can help manage stress and enhance well-being.
• Self-mastery is crucial for high achievers to maintain their mental health.
• Gratitude practices can serve as a powerful tool for emotional regulation.
• Specificity in gratitude can enhance its effectiveness.
• The five minute reset can transform your day from reactive to intentional.
• Creating a habit stack can make new practices easier to adopt.
• Reflection on daily experiences fosters personal growth and resilience.
• Affirmations should be framed positively and personally.
• True self-care is about making time more powerful, not just finding more time.

Chapters

05:44 The Five Minute Reset: Architecting Your Day

09:15 Habit Stacking: Making Gratitude Sustainable

13:31 Neuroscience of Gratitude: The Brain's Response

22:01 Practical Prompts: Building a Gratitude Practice

26:02 Creating Wellness Routines: Time Management for High Achievers

26:39 Closing Thoughts

Have you ever been told to "just be grateful" when you actually felt exhausted, unseen, or overwhelmed? For high-achievers, creatives, and entrepreneurs, especially those managing perfectionism, gratitude can feel less like a comfort and more like a "muzzle"—a performance that silences the real story of your struggle and hard work.

In this powerful session, host and therapist Burgundy Holiday introduces the concept of the "Gratitude Trap" and the "Muzzled Win": when your biggest public success feels like it costs you your private truth. This episode is a permission slip to stop performing gratitude and start using it as a private, radical tool for self-preservation and a powerful antidote to your inner critic.

• What is the "Gratitude Trap"? How the pressure to be grateful can become a tool of perfectionism and a way to silence your valid frustrations.

• The "Muzzled in" Phenomenon: Why your biggest public wins can sometimes feel like a trap that stops you from speaking your truth.

• A Radical Reframe: How to shift gratitude from a public performance for others into a private "evidence log" for yourself.

• Gratitude as Data: Learn how to use gratitude as a strategic tool to build a "success file" against your inner critic, perfectionism, and imposter syndrome.

• Anti-Perfectionist Gratitude: Discover the power of "messy gratitude"—the practice of being grateful for your anger, your tears, and the difficult emotions that provide valuable information.

• Building Your Own Throne: Stop seeking external validation and instead build a powerful, internal sense of self-worth.

This isn't about feeling grateful; it's about collecting evidence.

1. Start Your Evidence Log: In a journal or a note on your phone, write down one thing you are truly grateful for. Then, add this specific sentence: "This evidence is for me and me alone."

2. Honor Your "Negative" Emotions: Identify one difficult emotion you felt this week (anger, sadness, frustration). Write down one reason you are grateful for the information that emotion gave you. What boundary did it reveal? What truth did it signal?

• Read the Blog: Dive deeper into this topic with the accompanying post: The Gratitude Trap: Why 'Be Grateful' Is the Last Thing a Black Woman Needs to Hear

• Join the Challenge: Burgandy is launching a 30-day Authentic Gratitude Challenge. Follow along on social media and join us in this experiment of data collection.

Ready to Stop Performing and Start Healing?

If you’re a high-achiever tired of managing perfectionism and feeling trapped by the pressure to "have it all together," you don't have to do it alone. Be True Counseling offers a confidential, culturally competent space to be seen, honored, and empowered in your full truth.

We invite you to schedule a free consultation with our team. Visit betruecounseling.com to learn more.

You’ve done the inner work. You’ve met your inner counsel, quieted your critics, and stepped back into the driver's seat of your life. But as a high-achieving leader, entrepreneur, or creative, how do you stay there without burning out?

In this final session of the Crown Straightening introductory series, host and therapist Burgundy Holiday tackles the most critical part of the journey: sustainability. This episode is your practical guide to building a "well-fortified queendom"—the external practices, support systems, and radical mindset shifts you need to support your new internal leadership.

If you’re tired of "doing it all" by yourself and feel like rest is a reward you never seem to earn, this conversation is your permission slip to reframe everything. Learn how to move from a cycle of burnout to a lifetime of sustainable, authentic power.

• The Radical Reframe on Rest: Why rest is not a reward you earn, but the fuel required to do the work in the first place.

• Micro-Moments of Mastery: Small, actionable ways (like a 60-second stretch or one song) to anchor yourself back to your compassionate self throughout a demanding day.

• How to "Schedule Your Sanctuary": The non-negotiable practice of blocking time for yourself on your calendar—and protecting it as fiercely as a meeting with a key stakeholder.

• Building Your "Council of Queens": The vital need for an external support system (friends, partners, and professionals) who see you beyond your title and let you be human.

• The Power of Delegation: Why outsourcing (from laundry to marketing) isn't giving up; it's buying back your time and expanding your capacity for success.

• The Marshmallow Tower Analogy: A fun visual for why the more successful you become, the wider and more robust your support base needs to be.

As Burgandy says, "No woman is an island," and "doing it by yourself is a sure-fire way to burn out."

You don’t have to navigate the pressures of leadership, creativity, and life alone. If you're ready to build your professional "Council of Queens" with culturally competent, judgment-free support, we are here for you. Be True Counseling specializes in helping high-achievers manage burnout, embrace self-compassion, and lead with authenticity.

We invite you to take the next step. Gently schedule your free consultation with our team by visiting betruecounseling.com today.

• Follow Us: Find us on your favorite social media hubs.

• Learn More: Visit BeTrueCounseling.com for blog posts, resources, and to learn more about our team.

• Don't Miss a Session: Subscribe to Crown Straightening Sessions wherever you get your podcasts.

• Share the Love: If this episode resonated, please share it with another queen in your life who needs to hear it.

In this episode, we dive into the core beliefs that shape our inner world. Host Burgandy Holiday guides you through identifying and challenging the "Royal Decrees"—those outdated, limiting stories held by your inner Managers and Firefighters. Learn a transformative 4-step process to acknowledge these old beliefs, consult your wise Self, and issue new, empowering declarations that reflect your current wisdom. Burgandy shares a personal example of reframing a feeling of rejection into a new understanding of love and connection, even amidst grief. This is how you reclaim your power and move from a fear-based internal government to one rooted in love and wisdom.

Integration Practice This Week:

• Listen for the voice of one of your most active Manager parts (inner critic, worrier, people-pleaser).
• Identify the Old Royal Decree it's enforcing.
• Connect with your inner Queen and ask: "Is this decree still true today? Does it still serve my highest good?"
• Write a New Royal Decree to replace it.
• Place your new decree somewhere visible and gently remind your parts of this new inner law.

Visit us at www.betruecounseling.com

Follow us on social media:

• https://www.linkedin.com/in/burgandy-holiday-lcsw-a15b801/
• https://www.facebook.com/BeTrue215/
• https://www.instagram.com/betrue_215/

Connect with Us:

Ready to deepen your practice and fortify your queendom with expert, culturally competent support?

Visit https://betruecounseling.com/services/new-client-consultation/begin-your-journey-here-150469848

Don't forget to subscribe wherever you get your podcasts so you don’t miss a session!

In this session, Burgandy guides you in connecting with your wise, authentic "Self" (your inner Queen) to lead your inner parts with compassion.

This episode's core practice is the 5-Minute Inner Check-In.

Steps for the Inner Check-In:

1. Find the Feeling: Scan your body for a strong sensation (e.g., tightness, a pit). That's a part.

2. Focus on It: Just be with the sensation without trying to change it.

3. Flesh It Out: Get curious. What's its shape, color, or image?

4. Feel Toward It: Offer gentle curiosity (not judgment) to this part.

5. Befriend It: Mentally ask it questions like, "What do you want me to know?" or "What do you need from me?"

Guided Practice: Join Burgandy for a guided check-in.

This Week's Integration:

Practice this 5-minute check-in once a day to build inner trust. Consistency, not perfection, is the goal.

Host: Burgandy Holiday, Be True Counseling

Next Week: We learn how to update the outdated rules our parts have been living by.