Keywords

authenticity, burnout, seasonal affective disorder, melanin paradox, self-care, high achievers, mental health, winter blues, emotional well-being, productivity

Summary

In this conversation, Burgandy Holiday discusses the importance of embracing authenticity, managing burnout, and understanding the impact of seasonal changes on mental health. She emphasizes the need for self-care, especially during winter, and addresses the unique challenges faced by high achievers, particularly in relation to the melanin paradox and societal expectations. The discussion provides valuable insights and tools for navigating these challenges while maintaining emotional well-being.

Chapters

01:10 Understanding the Biology of the Shadow

04:19 Understanding Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

06:20 The Melanin Paradox and Vitamin D Deficiency

08:32 The Superwoman Schema and Biological Needs

10:16 Understanding the Biology and Psychology of Winter

15:40 Navigating the Internal Conflict: Manager vs. Winter Child

16:23 Introduction to Crown Straightening Tools

16:54 The 70% Rule

18:30 The Unmasked Circle

19:35 Setting Boundaries with Self-Mastery

21:41 Embracing the Winter Season of Rest

22:32 Thanks for Listening

Keywords

both/and practice, duality, grief, radical acceptance, personal growth, systemic injustice, emotional resilience, leadership, family dynamics, life lessons

Summary

In this conversation, Burgandy Holiday discusses the concept of the 'both/and' practice, which encourages individuals to hold two opposing truths simultaneously. She shares a personal story about her aunt's passing on her birthday, illustrating how she navigated grief while embracing personal growth and leadership within her family. The discussion emphasizes the importance of radical acceptance in recognizing both the challenges of systemic injustice and the moments of joy in life.

Takeaways

The both/and practice helps in holding dual truths.

Grief can coexist with personal growth.

Embracing leadership roles in family dynamics is vital.

Radical acceptance allows for a balanced perspective. The

negativity bias can be countered with conscious choice.

Personal stories can illustrate broader emotional truths.

Finding gratitude in difficult moments is empowering.

Acknowledging systemic injustice is important.

Emotional resilience is built through acceptance.

Life's challenges can lead to new opportunities for growth.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Be True Counseling

04:19 Crisis Energy Rest

06:17 BOTH/AND Thinking

12:15 Internal Family Systems brief overview

14:15 Boundaries are Life Preservers

18:03 Gratitude from the Inside, Out

18:58 Science as Receipts

19:55 Episode review

21:25 Credits

Have you ever had 99 people tell you you’re doing an amazing job, but you spend all week obsessing over the one person who said something negative?

You aren’t crazy, and you aren’t broken. You are actually dealing with something called Negativity Bias.

In this episode of Crown Straightening Sessions, we are digging into why our brains are hardwired to ignore the sunset and focus on the "lion in the grass." I’m sharing why your brain tries to trick you into feeling small and giving you practical, research-based tools to rewire your thoughts and stand in your power.

• Why we focus on the bad: Understanding that your brain is trying to protect you from ancient threats (lions) that don't exist in your modern office job.

• The "Truthteller" Myth: Why does that one negative comment feel like the absolute truth, while the compliments feel like lies? We explain why your brain treats criticism as a survival warning, making it feel "heavier" and more real than praise.

• Cognitive Restructuring made simple: How to be the editor of your own life story and use the "Red Pen" of gratitude to cross out the lies your anxiety tells you.

• Gratitude from the Inside Out: Moving beyond being thankful for your coffee. We talk about thanking yourself for your resilience, your humor, and your strength.

Why You Can't "Smoke and Swim" (The Competing Response)

Anxiety and gratitude cannot live in your brain at the same time. Think of it this way: You can’t smoke a cigarette while you are swimming underwater. It is physically impossible.

In the same way, when you force your brain to focus on gratitude (swimming), you physically stop the cycle of anxiety (smoking). It switches your nervous system from "fight or flight" to "rest and digest."

The One Negative Review

Imagine a performer gets a standing ovation from the whole room, but one person on social media calls them "overrated." Why do we believe that one person is the only one "willing to speak the truth"?

This is your survival brain lying to you. It convinces you that the threat (the critic) is the only thing that matters because it wants you to stay safe and small. We talk about how to recognize this lie and look at the probability of the threat versus the possibility.

1. Name the Betrayal: When you spiral, say out loud: "That is my negativity bias. That is not the whole truth."

2. Use a Competing Response: Find a physical object (like a pen) or a thought of gratitude to break the anxiety loop.

3. Inside-Out Gratitude: Write down one thing you are grateful for about who you are (e.g., "I am grateful for my own persistence").

🔗 Mentioned in this Episode:

• Read the full blog post: Your Brain’s Betrayal: Fighting the Negativity Bias

• Listen to the show: Crown Straightening Sessions on Spotify

• Connect with Be True Counseling: www.betruecounseling.com

Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and share this episode with a Queen who needs to hear it!

Keywords: Negativity bias, high functioning anxiety, perfectionism recovery, cognitive behavioral therapy, mental health for black women, self-compassion, burnout strategies.