Épisodes

  • Unfiltered thoughts on CHS, Dependence and my History with Weed
    May 13 2026

    This episode is honestly just me talking.

    No heavy editing.
    No perfect structure.
    Just a real conversation about my history with weed, dependency, creativity, comfort, escape, and the role it played in my life for a long time.

    I grew up around it.
    A lot of my friends smoked.
    It became part of hard times, good times, relationships, routines… life.

    But I also started dealing with serious stomach issues and episodes that sent me to the ER multiple times. I was never officially diagnosed with CHS, but once I stopped smoking, those episodes went away completely.

    I’m not here to judge anyone or tell people what to do.

    I just think if you’ve been dealing with unexplained stomach issues, anxiety, nausea, physical symptoms, or weird health problems while smoking heavily — especially with how potent and mass-produced weed has become today — it might be worth experimenting with taking a break and really listening to your body.

    This one’s messy and unfiltered.
    Even Kiki makes a few appearances in the background.

    But maybe that’s what makes it honest.

    Coming Back Online is about honesty, healing, and personal responsibility.

    I share my lived experience — not medical advice, not judgments, and not instructions for anyone else.


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    29 min
  • The Addiction No One Talks About (Weed, Stagnation & Potential)
    Apr 16 2026

    In this episode, I talk about a side of addiction that doesn’t get enough attention—the kind that doesn’t destroy your life overnight, but slowly keeps you stuck.

    After watching Anonymous People and reflecting on my own journey, I started to see addiction differently. Not just as something that causes chaos, but something that can quietly hold you back from becoming who you’re meant to be.

    This episode is about weed, comfort, avoidance, and what happens when you finally start facing yourself again.

    If you’ve ever wondered whether something in your life is helping you grow or keeping you comfortable… this one’s for you.


    Anonymous People Documentary:


    https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2571226/

    Coming Back Online is about honesty, healing, and personal responsibility.

    I share my lived experience — not medical advice, not judgments, and not instructions for anyone else.


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    18 min
  • The Hidden Cost of Comfort: Unpacking Cannabinoid Hypermesis Syndrome, the Mind-Gut Connection
    Apr 3 2026

    What if the thing you’ve been using to feel better… is actually what’s making you sick?

    In this episode, we unpack Cannabinoid Hyperemesis Syndrome (CHS) — a paradoxical condition where chronic cannabis use can lead to severe nausea, stomach pain, and cycles of physical distress.

    But this isn’t just about CHS.

    We go deeper into the mind–gut connection, the rise of high-potency THC, and how the body can start expressing what the mind has been trying to suppress.

    I also share my personal experience — from using weed to cope… to dealing with stomach convulsions, anxiety, and the realization that I wasn’t healing… I was masking.

    This episode challenges a bigger question:

    Are we actually healing… or just getting comfortable avoiding the root?

    If you’ve ever questioned your relationship with weed, your body, or your coping mechanisms — this conversation might hit closer than you expect.


    References
    [1] Lauren Cue, Frederick Chu, Marco Cascella. Cannabinoid Hyperemesis Syndrome. StatPearls, NCBI Bookshelf. Available at: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK549915/
    [2] Priyadarshini Loganathan, Mahesh Gajendran, Hemant Goyal. A Comprehensive Review and Update on Cannabis Hyperemesis Syndrome. Pharmaceuticals, 2024, 17(11), 1549. Available at: https://www.mdpi.com/1424-8247/17/11/1549
    [3] Vaping360. THC Levels Chart: Crunching the Numbers. Available at: https://vaping360.com/learn/thc-percentage-level-chart/
    [4] PMC. The Problem with the Current High Potency THC Marijuana. Available at: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6312155/
    [5] I. Ibrahim, S. Syamala, J.A. Ayariga, J. Xu, B.K. Robertson. Modulatory Effect of Gut Microbiota on the Gut-Brain, Gut-Bone Axes, and the Impact of Cannabinoids. Metabolites, 2022, 12(12), 1247. Available at: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9781427/
    [6] UC San Diego Today. Large Genetic Study Links Cannabis Use to Psychiatric, Cognitive and Physical Health. Available at: https://today.ucsd.edu/story/large-genetic-study-links-cannabis-use-to-psychiatric-cognitive-and-physical-health
    [7] PubMed. Short and Long-Term Effects of Cannabis on Symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Available at: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32469819/
    [8] Acupuncture Collective. Root vs. Branch Treatments: Identifying the Underlying Cause Versus Symptom Checking. Available at: https://www.acupuncturecollective.ca/blog/root-vs-branch-treatments-identifying-the-underlying-cause-versus-symptom-checking

    Coming Back Online is about honesty, healing, and personal responsibility.

    I share my lived experience — not medical advice, not judgments, and not instructions for anyone else.


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    22 min
  • When Weed Stops Working: My 20-year Wake-Up Call
    Mar 17 2026

    For over 20 years, weed was a constant part of my life.

    In this episode, I share why I finally decided to walk away from it — and the surprising backlash I’ve received online for talking openly about my experience.

    Some people have reached out with gratitude, saying they feel the same way and want their clarity back. Others have gotten defensive or angry. And that reaction made me realize something important: people are often afraid to have honest conversations about weed.

    Let me be clear — I’m not against cannabis, and I’m not judging anyone who uses it. I’m simply sharing my personal story.

    For me, weed became a way to numb emotions, avoid deeper issues, and disconnect from my own life. When I finally stopped after two decades of daily use, I began noticing changes in my nervous system, my emotions, and my sense of presence.

    In this episode, I talk about:

    • Why weed today is very different from the cannabis of the past
    • The rise of high-potency THC
    • Cannabis Hyperemesis Syndrome (CHS) and other physical effects some long-term users experience
    • The emotional and psychological side of dependency
    • What it means to “come back online” and face life fully present

    If you’ve ever wondered whether weed is still serving you, this conversation might resonate.

    This isn’t about judgment — it’s about honesty.

    And maybe starting a conversation we’re long overdue to have.


    cannabis, quitting weed, cannabis dependency, sobriety journey, CHS, cannabinoid hyperemesis syndrome, mental health, addiction recovery, personal growth

    Coming Back Online is about honesty, healing, and personal responsibility.

    I share my lived experience — not medical advice, not judgments, and not instructions for anyone else.


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    15 min
  • When Weed Started Hurting Me: CHS, Anxiety and Learning Real Strength
    Feb 23 2026

    In this episode of Coming Back Online, I share a deeply personal conversation about long-term cannabis use, Cannabinoid Hyperemesis Syndrome (CHS), and the connection between gut health, anxiety, and emotional regulation.

    For years, I didn’t fully understand why my body felt off — stomach issues, nervous system dysregulation, anxiety spikes, and periods where I just didn’t feel like myself. What I eventually discovered was that something I thought was helping me relax… might actually have been contributing to the instability.

    We talk about:

    • What CHS is and why it happens
    • The gut-brain connection and nervous system regulation
    • Real stories and patterns people experience with long-term cannabis use
    • Why modern high-THC products affect the body differently
    • Emotional dependence and boredom tolerance
    • Redefining real strength — self-control, kindness, and discipline
    • What happens when you stop relying on substances to regulate your state

    This episode isn’t anti-cannabis — it’s about awareness, self-trust, and healing.

    If you’ve ever struggled with anxiety, stomach problems, or feeling disconnected from yourself while using weed… you’re not alone.

    Recovery is possible. Stability is possible. Clarity is possible.

    This is part of coming back online.

    Coming Back Online is about honesty, healing, and personal responsibility.

    I share my lived experience — not medical advice, not judgments, and not instructions for anyone else.


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    16 min
  • When Weed Stops Working: My 26-year relationship with Getting High
    Feb 12 2026

    For 26 years, weed was part of my identity.

    I started smoking at 15.
    It felt cool. It felt freeing. It felt like it helped me cope.

    But somewhere along the way… it stopped working.

    In this episode, I talk honestly about my experience with long-term cannabis use — how it changed over the years, how the potency feels different now, the questions around pesticides and chemicals, and the severe stomach symptoms that started showing up for me.

    The abdominal pain.
    Rushing to hot baths.
    Ginger tea at 2 a.m.
    My wife having to take care of me while I tried to manage symptoms.

    I’m not anti-weed. I’m not villainizing it.
    Everyone’s body is different.

    But if something in your life — weed or anything else — is causing more harm than good, you’re allowed to question it. You’re allowed to stop. You’re allowed to see who you are without it.

    I’m four months sober now.
    This is part of my process.
    And I’m committed to getting better — and helping others do the same.For 26 years, weed was part of my identity.

    I started smoking at 15.
    It felt cool. It felt freeing. It felt like it helped me cope.

    But somewhere along the way… it stopped working.

    In this episode, I talk honestly about my experience with long-term cannabis use — how it changed over the years, how the potency feels different now, the questions around pesticides and chemicals, and the severe stomach symptoms that started showing up for me.

    The abdominal pain.
    Rushing to hot baths.
    Ginger tea at 2 a.m.
    My wife having to take care of me while I tried to manage symptoms.

    I’m not anti-weed. I’m not villainizing it.
    Everyone’s body is different.

    But if something in your life — weed or anything else — is causing more harm than good, you’re allowed to question it. You’re allowed to stop. You’re allowed to see who you are without it.

    I’m four months sober now.
    This is part of my process.
    And I’m committed to getting better — and helping others do the same.

    Coming Back Online is about honesty, healing, and personal responsibility.

    I share my lived experience — not medical advice, not judgments, and not instructions for anyone else.


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    12 min
  • Listening to My Body: My Experience With CHS-Like Symptoms After Long-Term Weed Use
    Feb 7 2026

    In this episode, I share my personal experience with long-term weed use and the symptoms I went through that resembled Cannabinoid Hyperemesis Syndrome (CHS). I want to be clear — I was never officially diagnosed. This is not medical advice. This is simply my lived experience.


    After more than 25 years of using weed, I noticed patterns in my body, my motivation, my energy, and my overall quality of life that I could no longer ignore. I talk openly about the symptoms I experienced, what improved after I stopped, and why listening to my body became more important than defending a habit.


    This isn’t an anti-weed episode. I don’t believe weed is “bad,” and I don’t judge anyone who uses it. People’s bodies are different. Some people may tolerate it well. Others may not. Length of use, frequency, strain, quality, and individual biology all matter.


    I also address some of the conversations and theories around modern weed — potency, pesticides, chemicals, and conspiracies — and explain why, for me, none of that mattered as much as one simple truth: something wasn’t working in my life, and I feel better without it.


    If anything in your life is lowering your quality of life — weed or otherwise — it’s okay to pause, stop, and see what happens. You don’t need permission. You don’t need a label. You just need honesty with yourself.


    This episode is about choosing clarity over comfort, honoring your own truth, and giving yourself a real chance at feeling better.


    Coming Back Online is about honesty, healing, and personal responsibility.

    I share my lived experience — not medical advice, not judgments, and not instructions for anyone else.


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    10 min
  • Starting Over at 41
    Jan 27 2026

    For a long time, I used weed to cope.

    It started as a way to feel less, to quiet my mind, to escape the weight of things I didn’t know how to process yet. Over time, what felt like relief slowly turned into numbness — and I didn’t even realize how disconnected I had become from myself, my purpose, and the life I wanted.

    In this first episode of Coming Back Online, I share the real story behind my relationship with weed, how it became a crutch, and what finally made me want something different. This isn’t about shame or labels. It’s about honesty, self-awareness, and choosing to come back to yourself when you’re ready.

    If you’ve ever felt stuck, lost, or like you’ve been living on autopilot, this is for you.

    This podcast is a space for reflection, healing, and small steps forward — one honest conversation at a time.

    Welcome.
    You’re not alone.

    Coming Back Online is about honesty, healing, and personal responsibility.

    I share my lived experience — not medical advice, not judgments, and not instructions for anyone else.


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    15 min