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CPTB is a conversational, funny, and thoughtful take on this week's Bible readings — for preachers, church leaders, deconstructors, and curious listeners who still love scripture, even when they're not sure what to do with it. We explore the text with humor and theological depth, without certainty, outrage, or easy answers.

Jesus says he's the sheep gate. Then he says he's the shepherd. Confused yet?

Comedians Teresa Roberts Logan (@laughingredhead) and Zach Funk (@zachfunkyeah) join Bob and Eric to work through John 10:1–10, and the question that won't go away is: who decided the church gets to decide who's a thief? Teresa brings her full ex-vangelical energy to the table — the damage being done in Jesus' name, the easily-offended fortress-church culture she walked away from, and Van Gogh's sermon on being a stranger on the earth. Zach wonders whether everything outside the gate might just be different flocks. Bob makes the case that the sheepfold was never meant to be a bunker. Eric offers a sermon nobody asked for but everyone needed: the real danger isn't the thief outside — it's becoming one yourself.

Also: the mechanics of nailing your tongue to the roof of your mouth, a very small hammer, the disastrous children's sermon about recognizing your child's voice, and why you should never schedule bring-your-pet night right before dollar hot dog night.

John 10:1–10 (NRSVue)

"Very truly I tell you, anyone who does not enter the sheepfold by the gate but climbs in by another way is a thief and a bandit. The one who enters by the gate is the shepherd of the sheep. The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep hear his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes ahead of them, and the sheep follow him because they know his voice. They will not follow a stranger, but they will run from him because they do not know the voice of strangers." Jesus used this figure of speech with them, but they did not understand what he was saying to them. So again Jesus said to them, "Very truly I tell you, I am the gate for the sheep. All who came before me are thieves and bandits, but the sheep did not listen to them. I am the gate. Whoever enters by me will be saved and will come in and go out and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly."

Hosted by Pastor Eric Damon and Pastor Bob Schaefer.

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Music: Trickster by Phat Sounds
Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/10864-trickster
Licensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Scripture quotations are taken from the New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition. Copyright © 2021 National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Send us Fan Mail

CPTB is a conversational, funny, and thoughtful take on this week's Bible readings — for preachers, church leaders, deconstructors, and curious listeners who still love scripture, even when they're not sure what to do with it. We explore the text with humor and theological depth, without certainty, outrage, or easy answers.

Abby Evans (@itsabbye) and Erick Williams (@comicaledubs) are back as Resident Comic Theologians for a Short Take on Luke 24 — the Road to Emmaus — and the room immediately clock what makes this story so deliciously strange: the Son of God spending several miles being briefed on his own death and resurrection, presumably holding in the cackle.

Expect:

• Mormon missionaries knocking on the wrong door (it's Jesus's house, and now you're an undocumented squatter)
• "God-splaining" as a legitimate Christological category
• Erick's reverse Masque of the Red Death read on the whole encounter
• A serious detour through what "inspired word of God" actually means for ELCA Lutherans, which somehow involves The Rose by Bette Midler
• Bob's digression transgression, and his failure to apologize for it
• Abby getting into sourdough

Notable tangent: The Blair Witch Project, the Dread Pirate Roberts, and the Waterboy's surprising film legacy.

"I'm not an ICE agent." — Jesus, probably

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Luke 24:13–35 (NRSVue)

[13] Now on that same day two of them were going to a village called Emmaus, about seven miles from Jerusalem, [14] and talking with each other about all these things that had happened. [15] While they were talking and discussing, Jesus himself came near and went with them, [16] but their eyes were kept from recognizing him. [17] And he said to them, “What are you discussing with each other while you walk along?” They stood still, looking sad. [18] Then one of them, whose name was Cleopas, answered him, “Are you the only stranger in Jerusalem who does not know the things that have taken place there in these days?” [19] He asked them, “What things?” They replied, “The things about Jesus of Nazareth, who was a prophet mighty in deed and word before God and all the people, [20] and how our chief priests and leaders handed him over to be condemned to death and crucified him. [21] But we had hoped that he was the one to redeem Israel. Yes, and besides all this, it is now the third day since these things took place. [22] Moreover, some women of our group astounded us. They were at the tomb early this morning, [23] and when they did not find his body there they came back and told us that they had indeed seen a vision of angels who said that he was alive. [24] Some of those who were with us went to the tomb and found it just as the women had said, but they did not see him.” [25] Then he said to them, “Oh, how foolish you are and how slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have declared! [26] Was it not necessary that the Messiah should suffer these things and then enter into his gl

Hosted by Pastor Eric Damon and Pastor Bob Schaefer.

Join the community!
Email us at cptbpod@gmail.com.
Find us at @cptbpod on most social media platforms.
More at linktr.ee/cptbpod

Music: Trickster by Phat Sounds
Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/10864-trickster
Licensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Scripture quotations are taken from the New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition. Copyright © 2021 National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Send us Fan Mail

CPTB is a conversational, funny, and thoughtful take on this week's Bible readings — for preachers, church leaders, deconstructors, and curious listeners who still love scripture, even when they're not sure what to do with it. We explore the text with humor and theological depth, without certainty, outrage, or easy answers.

What does it take to convince someone they're going to hell? Apparently, a Billy Graham crusade, a youth retreat horror movie featuring a floating bloody head, or possibly just the right Konami code sequence entered on enough church crosses. This week Bob and Eric are joined by cartoonist-comedian Teresa Roberts Logan (@laughingredhead) and returning comic guest Zach Funk (@zachfunkyeah) to dig into John 20:19-31 — the appearance of the risen Jesus to the disciples, and the moment Thomas earns a nickname he'll never shake.

Expect:

• Thomas the Twin — twin of whom, exactly?
• Why you can't call him Diddy
• The Southern Baptist childhood-to-ex-vangelical pipeline, lived in full
• What the Christian comedy circuit looks like from the inside
• The Konami Code as soteriology
• Spiritual colorblindness as a framework for faith
• Bob's favorite original joke (the Pontiff's Pilot)
• Kenneth Copeland, Billy Graham, and the difference between American Jesus and Bible Jesus

Don't miss: Eric's sidebar on what happens when Lutherans over-spiritualize the gospel — with a very specific historical example.

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John 20:19–31 (NRSVue)

[19] When it was evening on that day, the first day of the week, and the doors were locked where the disciples were, for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” [20] After he said this, he showed them his hands and his side. Then the disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord. [21] Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you.” [22] When he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. [23] If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.” [24] But Thomas (who was called the Twin), one of the twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. [25] So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord.” But he said to them, “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe.” [26] A week later his disciples were again in the house, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were shut, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” [27] Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Do not doubt but believe.” [28] Thomas answered him, “My Lord and my God!” [29] Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.” [30] Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence

Hosted by Pastor Eric Damon and Pastor Bob Schaefer.

Join the community!
Email us at cptbpod@gmail.com.
Find us at @cptbpod on most social media platforms.
More at linktr.ee/cptbpod

Music: Trickster by Phat Sounds
Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/10864-trickster
Licensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Scripture quotations are taken from the New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition. Copyright © 2021 National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.