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CPTB is a conversational, funny, and thoughtful take on this week's Bible readings — for preachers, church leaders, deconstructors, and curious listeners who still love scripture, even when they're not sure what to do with it. We explore the text with humor and theological depth, without certainty, outrage, or easy answers.

On this Short Take episode of Comedians with Pastors Talking Bible, we tackle one of the longest Gospel readings in the lectionary — the Woman at the Well.

Jesus meets a stranger at a well, offers her living water, casually recites her entire romantic history, and redefines the nature of worship. She goes and tells everybody. The disciples are astonished that he talked to a woman. Classic Tuesday.

But underneath the length and the strangeness, there's something quietly remarkable happening: a woman with no credentials goes back to her city and says "come and see" — and it's enough.

Why does Jesus sound like he's dropping hints about being famous? What does living water have to do with Peter's drinking problem? And what would Jesus do at a Golden Corral?

"Wave like holy hell and get everybody's attention — then duck, so they see Jesus behind you."

Join Pastor Bob Schaefer, Pastor Eric Damon, and resident comic theologians Abby Evans (@itsabbye) and Erick Williams (@comicaledubs) for a Short Take that's sprawling, funny, and unexpectedly moving.

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John 4:5–42 (NRSVue)

[5] So he came to a Samaritan city called Sychar, near the plot of ground that Jacob had given to his son Joseph. [6] Jacob’s well was there, and Jesus, tired out by his journey, was sitting by the well. It was about noon. [7] A Samaritan woman came to draw water, and Jesus said to her, “Give me a drink.” [8] (His disciples had gone to the city to buy food.) [9] The Samaritan woman said to him, “How is it that you, a Jew, ask a drink of me, a woman of Samaria?” (Jews do not share things in common with Samaritans.) [10] Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water.” [11] The woman said to him, “Sir, you have no bucket, and the well is deep. Where do you get that living water? [12] Are you greater than our ancestor Jacob, who gave us the well and with his sons and his flocks drank from it?” [13] Jesus said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, [14] but those who drink of the water that I will give them will never be thirsty. The water that I will give will become in them a spring of water gushing up to eternal life.” [15] The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water, so that I may never be thirsty or have to keep coming here to draw water.” [16] Jesus said to her, “Go, call your husband, and come back.” [17] The woman answered him, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “You are right in saying, ‘I have no husband,’ [18] for you have had five husbands, and the one you have now is not y

Hosted by Pastor Eric Damon and Pastor Bob Schaefer.

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Music: Trickster by Phat Sounds
Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/10864-trickster
Licensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Scripture quotations are taken from the New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition. Copyright © 2021 National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

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In this episode of Comedians with Pastors Talking Bible, Pastors Bob Schaefer and Eric Damon are joined by returning comics Harriet Riley (@harrietrileycomedy) and Lizzie Martin (@lizziemartin) to take on John 3:1–17 — the most famous passage in the Bible, and maybe the hardest one to say something fresh about.

We start with a terrifying blue-eyed Jesus statue, a theological case for inserting Christ into the Dune universe, and Martin Luther's alleged deathbed quote (which we hope is real). Then the conversation gets personal: Lizzie on returning to the Catholic Church after a friend's death, Harriet on what it means to be a "diagnostic Christian," and the question of what you're really looking for when you go looking for God.

When we finally hit the text, we dig into the wordplay Jesus uses to set Nicodemus up, the cultural baggage of "born again," Eric's infamous pulpit act-out (never again), and what it means that Jesus receives a hostile visitor with patience, sass, and real engagement. The episode lands on prayer — gratitude, lament, and whether telling God to get off his ass counts as a psalm. (It does.)

It's Lent. The eyes are watching. Crazy-Eyed Jesus loves the world.

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John 3:1–17 (NRSVue)

[1] Now there was a Pharisee named Nicodemus, a leader of the Jews. [2] He came to Jesus by night and said to him, "Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher who has come from God, for no one can do these signs that you do unless God is with that person." [3] Jesus answered him, "Very truly, I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God without being born from above." [4] Nicodemus said to him, "How can anyone be born after having grown old? Can one enter a second time into the mother's womb and be born?" [5] Jesus answered, "Very truly, I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God without being born of water and Spirit. [6] What is born of the flesh is flesh, and what is born of the Spirit is spirit. [7] Do not be astonished that I said to you, 'You must be born from above.' [8] The wind blows where it chooses, and you hear the sound of it, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit." [9] Nicodemus said to him, "How can these things be?" [10] Jesus answered him, "Are you the teacher of Israel, and yet you do not understand these things? [11] Very truly, I tell you, we speak of what we know and testify to what we have seen, yet you do not receive our testimony. [12] If I have told you about earthly things and you do not believe, how can you believe if I tell you about heavenly things? [13] No one has ascended into heaven except the one who descended from heaven, the Son of Man. [14] And just as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, so must the Son of Man be lifted up, [15] that whoever believes in him may have eternal life. [16] For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life. [17] Indeed, God did not send the Son into

Hosted by Pastor Eric Damon and Pastor Bob Schaefer.

Join the community!
Email us at cptbpod@gmail.com.
Find us at @cptbpod on most social media platforms.
More at linktr.ee/cptbpod

Music: Trickster by Phat Sounds
Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/10864-trickster
Licensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Scripture quotations are taken from the New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition. Copyright © 2021 National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Send a text

CPTB is a conversational, funny, and thoughtful take on this week’s Bible readings — for preachers, church leaders, deconstructors, and curious listeners who still love scripture, even when they’re not sure what to do with it. We explore the text with humor and theological depth, without certainty, outrage, or easy answers.

On this Short Take episode of Comedians with Pastors Talking Bible, we kick off Lent with the Temptation of Jesus in the wilderness.

What voice should the devil have?
What if he sounds suspiciously like Rick Sanchez?

From belching cartoon villains to serious theological stakes, we explore what temptation really is — and why the devil doesn’t tempt Jesus with obviously evil things. Instead, he offers good things… twisted.

Bread.
Proof.
Power.

Why does Jesus say no? And what does that have to do with how we think about prosperity, spectacle, and political control today?

It’s Lent.
The stakes are real.
The devil sounds reasonable.

Join Pastor Bob Schaefer, Pastor Eric Damon, and resident comic theologians Abby Evans (@itsabbye) and Erick Williams (@comicaledubs) for a Short Take that’s irreverent, thoughtful, and maybe just a little dangerous.

Matthew 4:1–11 (NRSVue)

[1] Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tested by the devil. [2] He fasted forty days and forty nights, and afterward he was famished. [3] The tempter came and said to him, “If you are the Son of God, command these stones to become loaves of bread.” [4] But he answered, “It is written, ‘One does not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.’ ” [5] Then the devil took him to the holy city and placed him on the pinnacle of the temple, [6] saying to him, “If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down, for it is written, ‘He will command his angels concerning you,’ and ‘On their hands they will bear you up, so that you will not dash your foot against a stone.’ ” [7] Jesus said to him, “Again it is written, ‘Do not put the Lord your God to the test.’ ” [8] Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory, [9] and he said to him, “All these I will give you, if you will fall down and worship me.” [10] Then Jesus said to him, “Away with you, Satan! for it is written, ‘Worship the Lord your God, and serve only him.’ ” [11] Then the devil left him, and suddenly angels came and waited on him.

Hosted by Pastor Eric Damon and Pastor Bob Schaefer.

Join the community!
Email us at cptbpod@gmail.com.
Find us at @cptbpod on most social media platforms.
More at linktr.ee/cptbpod

Music: Trickster by Phat Sounds
Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/10864-trickster
Licensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Scripture quotations are taken from the New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition. Copyright © 2021 National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Send a text

CPTB is a conversational, funny, and thoughtful take on this week’s Bible readings — for preachers, church leaders, deconstructors, and curious listeners who still love scripture, even when they’re not sure what to do with it. We explore the text with humor and theological depth, without certainty, outrage, or easy answers.

In this episode, Pastors Eric Damon and Bob Schaefer are joined by comedians Lizzie Martin (@lizziemartin) and Harriet Riley (@harrietrileycomedy) for Transfiguration Sunday (Matthew 17:1–9). We start with civics, citizenship, and the weird emotional texture of living in anxious times — plus a little love for “spooky” church, ritual, and the kind of wonder that modern life keeps trying to sand down.

Then we head up the mountain with Peter, James, and John, where Jesus goes full radiant glory, Moses and Elijah drop in like it’s a dream, and Peter tries to build… something. We talk about fear, mystery, the “messianic secret,” and why the good news might not be the spectacle at all — but Jesus coming close, touching his friends, and saying: “Get up. Do not be afraid.”

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Matthew 17:1–9 (NRSVue)

[1] Six days later, Jesus took with him Peter and James and his brother John and led them up a high mountain, by themselves. [2] And he was transfigured before them, and his face shone like the sun, and his clothes became bright as light. [3] Suddenly there appeared to them Moses and Elijah, talking with him. [4] Then Peter said to Jesus, “Lord, it is good for us to be here; if you wish, I will set up three tents here, one for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah.” [5] While he was still speaking, suddenly a bright cloud overshadowed them, and a voice from the cloud said, “This is my Son, the Beloved; with him I am well pleased; listen to him!” [6] When the disciples heard this, they fell to the ground and were overcome by fear. [7] But Jesus came and touched them, saying, “Get up and do not be afraid.” [8] And when they raised their eyes, they saw no one except Jesus himself alone. [9] As they were coming down the mountain, Jesus ordered them, “Tell no one about the vision until after the Son of Man has been raised from the dead.”

Hosted by Pastor Eric Damon and Pastor Bob Schaefer.

Join the community!
Email us at cptbpod@gmail.com.
Find us at @cptbpod on most social media platforms.
More at linktr.ee/cptbpod

Music: Trickster by Phat Sounds
Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/10864-trickster
Licensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Scripture quotations are taken from the New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition. Copyright © 2021 National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Send a text

CPTB is a conversational, funny, and thoughtful take on this week’s Bible readings - for preachers, church leaders, deconstructors, and curious listeners who still love scripture, even when they’re not sure what to do with it. We explore the text with humor and theological depth, without certainty, outrage, or easy answers.

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This wasn’t the episode we planned—but it was the episode we needed.

In this very special edition of Comedians with Pastors Talking Bible, Pastors Bob Schaefer and Eric Damon are joined by our resident comic theologians, Abby Evans (@itsabbye) and Erick Williams (@comicaledubs), for an unfiltered conversation shaped by the moment we’re living in.

We begin with the national situation weighing heavily on all of us—grief, anger, analysis, prophecy, and gallows humor all sharing the same table—and wrestle with what it means to live faithfully when normal life continues alongside violence, impunity, and fear. Along the way, we talk about the “dual state,” the misuse of law, and why pretending everything is fine is not a moral option.

Then we turn to the Gospel reading—Jesus’ words about salt and light, the law and its purpose—and ask what they sound like in a world that feels increasingly on fire. What does it mean to fulfill the law? What is its telos—its true aim? And how do we keep preaching, laughing, and telling the truth without hardening our hearts or numbing our souls?

This episode is heavier than usual. It’s also honest, pastoral, and still very much CPTB: scripture read seriously, humor used carefully, and faith held without outrage or certainty-for-show.

It really is a very special episode.

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Matthew 5:13–20 (NRSVue)

[13] “You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how can its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything but is thrown out and trampled under foot. [14] “You are the light of the world. A city built on a hill cannot be hid. [15] People do not light a lamp and put it under the bushel basket; rather, they put it on the lampstand, and it gives light to all in the house. [16] In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven. [17] “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have come not to abolish but to fulfill. [18] For truly I tell you, until heaven and earth pass away, not one letter, not one stroke of a letter, will pass from the law until all is accomplished. [19] Therefore, whoever breaks one of the least of these commandments and teaches others to do the same will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever does them and teaches them will be called great in the kingdom of heaven. [20] For I tell you, unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

Hosted by Pastor Eric Damon and Pastor Bob Schaefer.

Join the community!
Email us at cptbpod@gmail.com.
Find us at @cptbpod on most social media platforms.
More at linktr.ee/cptbpod

Music: Trickster by Phat Sounds
Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/10864-trickster
Licensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Scripture quotations are taken from the New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition. Copyright © 2021 National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Send a text

CPTB is a conversational, funny, and thoughtful take on this week’s Bible readings - for preachers, church leaders, deconstructors, and curious listeners who still love scripture, even when they’re not sure what to do with it. We explore the text with humor and theological depth, without certainty, outrage, or easy answers.

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What does Jesus actually mean when he says “blessed”? And why does it sound so different from the way we usually use the word?

In this episode of Comedians with Pastors Talking Bible, Pastors Bob Schaefer and Eric Damon are joined by comedians Johnny Traficante (@johnnytraficante) and Seth Queen (@sethqueen_comedy) to dig into the Beatitudes from the Sermon on the Mount—those famous blessings that seem to land on the wrong people: the poor in spirit, those who mourn, the meek, the persecuted.

Along the way, we talk about doubt, agnosticism, nihilism, moral risk, and why real blessing has very little to do with luck, success, or being “hashtag blessed.” Johnny and Seth reflect honestly on where they’ve encountered God (and where they weren’t sure God was anywhere to be found), while Bob and Eric explore why Jesus’ blessings are descriptive, not prescriptive—and why that matters for people who are suffering and for people who think they’re doing just fine.

Funny, reflective, and quietly challenging, this conversation is good news for anyone who has ever felt stuck in between, at the bottom of the barrel, or unsure what “blessed” is supposed to mean in real life.

Hosted by Pastor Eric Damon and Pastor Bob Schaefer.

Join the community!
Email us at cptbpod@gmail.com.
Find us at @cptbpod on most social media platforms.
More at linktr.ee/cptbpod

Music: Trickster by Phat Sounds
Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/10864-trickster
Licensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Scripture quotations are taken from the New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition. Copyright © 2021 National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Send a text

CPTB is a conversational, funny, and thoughtful take on this week’s Bible readings - for preachers, church leaders, deconstructors, and curious listeners who still love scripture, even when they’re not sure what to do with it. We explore the text with humor and theological depth, without certainty, outrage, or easy answers.

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What do you do when Jesus walks up and offers you something that isn’t fishing?

In this Short Take episode of Comedians with Pastors Talking Bible, we turn to Matthew’s call story and sit with how strange it really is. Jesus starts his ministry in the wrong place, calls people with a wildly unclear job description, and somehow convinces fishermen to drop their nets and follow him immediately.

Joined by our resident comic theologians Abby Evans (@itsabbye) and Erick Williams (@comicaledubs), we talk about bad neighborhoods, worse recruiting pitches, Zebedee left in the boat, and why discipleship has always been more weird than heroic. Along the way, we stumble into some surprisingly serious theology about calling, cost, baptism, and what actually makes ordinary things matter.

Funny, thoughtful, and a little sideways—this one’s for preachers, deconstructors, and anyone who’s ever wondered why that pitch worked.

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Matthew 4:12–23 (NRSVue)

[12] Now when Jesus heard that John had been arrested, he withdrew to Galilee. [13] He left Nazareth and made his home in Capernaum by the sea, in the territory of Zebulun and Naphtali, [14] so that what had been spoken through the prophet Isaiah might be fulfilled: [15] “Land of Zebulun, land of Naphtali, on the road by the sea, across the Jordan, Galilee of the gentiles— [16] the people who sat in darkness have seen a great light, and for those who sat in the region and shadow of death light has dawned.” [17] From that time Jesus began to proclaim, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near.” [18] As he walked by the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon, who is called Peter, and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the sea—for they were fishers. [19] And he said to them, “Follow me, and I will make you fishers of people.” [20] Immediately they left their nets and followed him. [21] As he went from there, he saw two other brothers, James son of Zebedee and his brother John, in the boat with their father Zebedee, mending their nets, and he called them. [22] Immediately they left the boat and their father and followed him. [23] Jesus went throughout all Galilee, teaching in their synagogues and proclaiming the good news of the kingdom and curing every disease and every sickness among the people.

Hosted by Pastor Eric Damon and Pastor Bob Schaefer.

Join the community!
Email us at cptbpod@gmail.com.
Find us at @cptbpod on most social media platforms.
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Music: Trickster by Phat Sounds
Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/10864-trickster
Licensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Scripture quotations are taken from the New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition. Copyright © 2021 National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Send a text

CPTB is a conversational, funny, and thoughtful take on this week’s Bible readings - for preachers, church leaders, deconstructors, and curious listeners who still love scripture, even when they’re not sure what to do with it. We explore the text with humor and theological depth, without certainty, outrage, or easy answers.

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This week we’re in John 1:29–42 (Second Sunday after Epiphany, Year C), where John the Baptist does the one job nobody wants: he points away from himself. “Look—here is the Lamb of God.” And somehow, that strange little sentence opens up a whole universe of meaning: sacrifice and innocence, Passover and mercy, and the unsettling idea that God’s power doesn’t show up as a flex.

Joining us are comedians Johnny Trafficante (@johnnytrafficante) and Seth Queen (@sethqueen_comedy), and we talk Catholic “smells and bells,” the way liturgy gets into your bones, why Bible branding and grift feels so spiritually corrosive, and what it might mean to recover a model of strength that looks more like vulnerability than domination. Along the way, Jesus casually renames Simon to Cephas (because apparently that’s what you do when you’re the Messiah), and we find ourselves circling a paradox the church desperately needs right now: the Lion of Judah is also the Lamb—and the Lamb is how the Lion wins.

As always: we’re pastors in the ELCA, we take scripture seriously, we don’t take ourselves too seriously, and we’re glad you’re here. Like, subscribe, share with a friend (or an enemy—if you must), and may the Holy Spirit do her thing in your life.

Hosted by Pastor Eric Damon and Pastor Bob Schaefer.

Join the community!
Email us at cptbpod@gmail.com.
Find us at @cptbpod on most social media platforms.
More at linktr.ee/cptbpod

Music: Trickster by Phat Sounds
Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/10864-trickster
Licensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Scripture quotations are taken from the New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition. Copyright © 2021 National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.