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CPTB is a conversational, funny, and thoughtful take on this week’s Bible readings - for preachers, church leaders, deconstructors, and curious listeners who still love scripture, even when they’re not sure what to do with it. We explore the text with humor and theological depth, without certainty, outrage, or easy answers.

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This week we’re in John 1:29–42 (Second Sunday after Epiphany, Year C), where John the Baptist does the one job nobody wants: he points away from himself. “Look—here is the Lamb of God.” And somehow, that strange little sentence opens up a whole universe of meaning: sacrifice and innocence, Passover and mercy, and the unsettling idea that God’s power doesn’t show up as a flex.

Joining us are comedians Johnny Trafficante (@johnnytrafficante) and Seth Queen (@sethqueen_comedy), and we talk Catholic “smells and bells,” the way liturgy gets into your bones, why Bible branding and grift feels so spiritually corrosive, and what it might mean to recover a model of strength that looks more like vulnerability than domination. Along the way, Jesus casually renames Simon to Cephas (because apparently that’s what you do when you’re the Messiah), and we find ourselves circling a paradox the church desperately needs right now: the Lion of Judah is also the Lamb—and the Lamb is how the Lion wins.

As always: we’re pastors in the ELCA, we take scripture seriously, we don’t take ourselves too seriously, and we’re glad you’re here. Like, subscribe, share with a friend (or an enemy—if you must), and may the Holy Spirit do her thing in your life.

Hosted by Pastor Eric Damon and Pastor Bob Schaefer.

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Music: Trickster by Phat Sounds
Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/10864-trickster
Licensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Scripture quotations are taken from the New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition. Copyright © 2021 National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

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CPTB is a conversational, funny, and thoughtful take on this week’s Bible readings - for preachers, church leaders, deconstructors, and curious listeners who still love scripture, even when they’re not sure what to do with it. We explore the text with humor and theological depth, without certainty, outrage, or easy answers.

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In this Short Take episode, we turn to the Gospel reading for the Baptism of Our Lord (Year A) and ask a surprisingly human question: what if Jesus didn’t actually hear the voice from heaven?

As we dig into Matthew’s account of Jesus’ baptism, we talk about humility, doubt, belonging, and what it means to trust grace that sometimes comes to us through other people rather than directly from God. Along the way, we imagine Jesus with water in his ears, wrestle with John the Baptist as a “good doubter,” and reflect on baptism not just as a private spiritual moment, but as entry into a community that speaks love when we can’t hear it ourselves.

Joining us are our resident comic theologians Abby Evans (@itsabbye) and Erick Williams (@comicaledubs), bringing performer instincts, cultural riffs, and just enough chaos to keep things honest.

Whether you’re preaching this text, deconstructing inherited faith, or just wondering why this story still matters, you’re welcome here.

If you enjoy the conversation, like, subscribe, and share CPTB with someone you think might actually enjoy it.

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Matthew 3:13–17 (NRSVue)

[13] Then Jesus came from Galilee to John at the Jordan, to be baptized by him. [14] John would have prevented him, saying, “I need to be baptized by you, and do you come to me?” [15] But Jesus answered him, “Let it be so now, for it is proper for us in this way to fulfill all righteousness.” Then he consented. [16] And when Jesus had been baptized, just as he came up from the water, suddenly the heavens were opened to him and he saw God’s Spirit descending like a dove and alighting on him. [17] And a voice from the heavens said, “This is my Son, the Beloved, with whom I am well pleased.”

Hosted by Pastor Eric Damon and Pastor Bob Schaefer.

Join the community!
Email us at cptbpod@gmail.com.
Find us at @cptbpod on most social media platforms.
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Music: Trickster by Phat Sounds
Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/10864-trickster
Licensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Scripture quotations are taken from the New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition. Copyright © 2021 National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

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What do you do with a gospel that doesn’t tell the Christmas story, starts before time, and keeps circling back on itself like it’s thinking out loud? In this episode of Comedians with Pastors Talking Bible, we dive into the opening of Gospel of John—a text that is beautiful, frustrating, poetic, and dense all at once.

Pastors Bob Schaefer and Eric Damon are joined by Pittsburgh comedians John Bankart and Roy Gackle for a wide-ranging conversation that moves from Catholic choreography and church anxiety to mushrooms (the metaphorical kind), soundboards, and the long, strange history of Christian disagreement. Along the way, we wrestle with what John means when he calls Jesus “the Word,” why light and darkness still matter, and how words—holy ones included—can heal or harm.

The conversation eventually lands where John does: grace and truth. What does it mean to speak faithfully in a world where scripture has been used both to liberate and to wound? How do we hold onto the beauty of these ancient words while being honest about the damage they’ve sometimes carried? And what does it look like to trust that the light still shines, even when understanding feels elusive?

As always, there are laughs, detours, pastoral honesty, and moments of real vulnerability. If you’ve ever loved the Gospel of John, struggled with it, or just wondered why it feels so different from the rest—this one’s for you.

May the Holy Spirit do her thing in your life.

John 1:1–18 (NRSVue)

[1] In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. [2] He was in the beginning with God. [3] All things came into being through him, and without him not one thing came into being. What has come into being [4] in him was life, and the life was the light of all people. [5] The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not overtake it. [6] There was a man sent from God whose name was John. [7] He came as a witness to testify to the light, so that all might believe through him. [8] He himself was not the light, but he came to testify to the light. [9] The true light, which enlightens everyone, was coming into the world. [10] He was in the world, and the world came into being through him, yet the world did not know him. [11] He came to what was his own, and his own people did not accept him. [12] But to all who received him, who believed in his name, he gave power to become children of God, [13] who were born, not of blood or of the will of the flesh or of the will of man, but of God. [14] And the Word became flesh and lived among us, and we have seen his glory, the glory as of a father’s only son, full of grace and truth. [15] (John testified to him and cried out, “This was he of whom I said, ‘He who comes after me ranks ahead of me because he was before me.’ ”) [16] From his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace. [17] The law indeed was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. [18] No one has ever seen God. It is the only Son, himself God,

Hosted by Pastor Eric Damon and Pastor Bob Schaefer.

Join the community!
Email us at cptbpod@gmail.com.
Find us at @cptbpod on most social media platforms.
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Music: Trickster by Phat Sounds
Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/10864-trickster
Licensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Scripture quotations are taken from the New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition. Copyright © 2021 National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

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The First Sunday of Christmas isn’t all angels, carols, and gentle joy. In this Short Take, pastors and comedians Erick Williams (@comicaledubs) and Abby Evans (@itsabbye) join the conversation as we sit with one of the hardest gospel readings of the season — the flight into Egypt and the slaughter of the innocents. It’s a text many preachers quietly dread, because it refuses to offer easy comfort or tidy resolutions.

What do you preach when grief can’t be explained away, when joy feels premature, and when the Bible itself won’t let you rush past suffering? Together, we wrestle honestly with faith that doesn’t flinch, humor that knows when to step aside, and why sometimes the most faithful response isn’t to fix the pain, but to tell the truth and stay with it.

Matthew 2:13–23 (NRSVue)

[13] Now after they had left, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream and said, “Get up, take the child and his mother, and flee to Egypt, and remain there until I tell you, for Herod is about to search for the child, to destroy him.” [14] Then Joseph got up, took the child and his mother by night, and went to Egypt [15] and remained there until the death of Herod. This was to fulfill what had been spoken by the Lord through the prophet, “Out of Egypt I have called my son.” [16] When Herod saw that he had been tricked by the magi, he was infuriated, and he sent and killed all the children in and around Bethlehem who were two years old or under, according to the time that he had learned from the magi. [17] Then what had been spoken through the prophet Jeremiah was fulfilled: [18] “A voice was heard in Ramah, wailing and loud lamentation, Rachel weeping for her children; she refused to be consoled, because they are no more.” [19] When Herod died, an angel of the Lord suddenly appeared in a dream to Joseph in Egypt and said, [20] “Get up, take the child and his mother, and go to the land of Israel, for those who were seeking the child’s life are dead.” [21] Then Joseph got up, took the child and his mother, and went to the land of Israel. [22] But when he heard that Archelaus was ruling Judea in place of his father Herod, he was afraid to go there. And after being warned in a dream, he went away to the district of Galilee. [23] There he made his home in a town called Nazareth, so that what had been spoken through the prophets might be fulfilled, “He will be called a Nazarene.”

Hosted by Pastor Eric Damon and Pastor Bob Schaefer.

Join the community!
Email us at cptbpod@gmail.com.
Find us at @cptbpod on most social media platforms.
More at linktr.ee/cptbpod

Music: Trickster by Phat Sounds
Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/10864-trickster
Licensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Scripture quotations are taken from the New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition. Copyright © 2021 National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

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What does it mean to say yes when the cost is public scandal?

In this Advent 4 episode, Pastors Bob Schaefer and Eric Damon are joined by comedians John Benkart (@johnbenkartcomedy) and Roy Gloeckle (@royjay.comedy) to wrestle with Matthew’s account of Jesus’ birth—the version that centers not on Mary’s announcement, but on Joseph’s quiet, risky obedience.

Along the way, the conversation wanders (as it always does) through Catholic school memories, youth group survival strategies, church as therapy, bad choirs (said with love), ancient gossip, and whether the Bible ever allows God to act like Zeus (spoiler: no). Beneath the jokes, though, is a serious question Advent won’t let us dodge: Where is the good news in a story shaped by power, consent, and trust?

We talk about:

• Joseph as a model of righteousness that protects rather than punishes
• Why it matters that Jesus’ conception is not coercive
• Free will, foreknowledge, and whether God waits for consent
• What it means when men step back and women speak
• And why God provides not just a Savior—but a family strong enough to hold scandal and tenderness at the same time

As always, the Bible is taken seriously (but not literally in every word), Jesus is centered, and humor is treated as a legitimate theological tool.

If you’re looking for Advent hope that doesn’t skip the hard parts—or if church language has ever made you flinch—you’re welcome here.

Matthew 1:18–25 (NRSVue)

[18] Now the birth of Jesus the Messiah took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been engaged to Joseph, but before they lived together, she was found to be pregnant from the Holy Spirit. [19] Her husband Joseph, being a righteous man and unwilling to expose her to public disgrace, planned to divorce her quietly. [20] But just when he had resolved to do this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, for the child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. [21] She will bear a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.” [22] All this took place to fulfill what had been spoken by the Lord through the prophet: [23] “Look, the virgin shall become pregnant and give birth to a son, and they shall name him Emmanuel,” which means, “God is with us.” [24] When Joseph awoke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him; he took her as his wife [25] but had no marital relations with her until she had given birth to a son, and he named him Jesus.

Hosted by Pastor Eric Damon and Pastor Bob Schaefer.

Join the community!
Email us at cptbpod@gmail.com.
Find us at @cptbpod on most social media platforms.
More at linktr.ee/cptbpod

Music: Trickster by Phat Sounds
Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/10864-trickster
Licensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Scripture quotations are taken from the New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition. Copyright © 2021 National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

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Season 3 kicks off with the return of our Resident Comic Theologians, Abby Evans and Erick Williams, as we dive straight into Matthew 11—the part where John the Baptist is in prison, Jesus sounds like Columbo, and nobody can agree how many Highlander films are canon.

Along the way we cover:

• Advent, aka the spiciest, wokest liturgical calendar season
• Why some churches still have a lone pink candle and whether that makes them heretics
• Macduff, belly buttons, Adam’s abdominal scars, and other things absolutely not in the text
• Jesus’s whole “go tell John what you see and hear” approach to evangelism
• Whether calling Jesus a capitalist or a socialist would make him flip a table (spoiler: yes)

And in a surprisingly heartfelt turn, we explore what it means that John doubts, Jesus doesn’t shame him, and the kingdom of heaven keeps turning everything upside-down anyway.

It’s theology, comedy, riddles, crickets, camel hair, and Erick insisting Jesus is basically the Riddler. (Will that preach? No. No it will not.)

Season 3 is here, and we’re already off the rails in the best possible way.

Matthew 11:2–11 (NRSVue)

[2] When John heard in prison what the Messiah was doing, he sent word by his disciples [3] and said to him, “Are you the one who is to come, or are we to wait for another?” [4] Jesus answered them, “Go and tell John what you hear and see: [5] the blind receive their sight, the lame walk, those with a skin disease are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the poor have good news brought to them. [6] And blessed is anyone who takes no offense at me.” [7] As they went away, Jesus began to speak to the crowds about John: “What did you go out into the wilderness to look at? A reed shaken by the wind? [8] What, then, did you go out to see? Someone dressed in soft robes? Look, those who wear soft robes are in royal palaces. [9] What, then, did you go out to see? A prophet? Yes, I tell you, and more than a prophet. [10] This is the one about whom it is written, ‘See, I am sending my messenger ahead of you, who will prepare your way before you.’ [11] “Truly I tell you, among those born of women no one has arisen greater than John the Baptist, yet the least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he.

Hosted by Pastor Eric Damon and Pastor Bob Schaefer.

Join the community!
Email us at cptbpod@gmail.com.
Find us at @cptbpod on most social media platforms.
More at linktr.ee/cptbpod

Music: Trickster by Phat Sounds
Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/10864-trickster
Licensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Scripture quotations are taken from the New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition. Copyright © 2021 National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

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In the Comedians with Pastors Talking Bible Season 2 finale, we start with bidets and end with Bob in wedge heels. In between, comedians Harriet Riley (@harrietrileycomedy) and Cassi Bruno (@cassi_dicci) bring stories of improv, sarcasm, and church-gone-sideways as we dive into Luke 13 and a Jesus who heals on the Sabbath like a first-century chiropractor.

• Eric insults the guests (twice).
• Harriet tries to become a bishop.
• Jesus breaks social norms.

It all builds to Bob’s unforgettable youth gathering tale that ends in a full teen-movie slow clap (see the photo evidence for yourself). Along the way we wrestle with what’s proper versus what’s right, why Sabbath is about freedom not fussiness, and how comedy and faith both thrive in the unscripted moments.

Season 3 will be here after a short breather, but don’t worry — we’ve got great stuff lined up during the hiatus, including a (FREE!) live comedy showcase at the Monroeville Public Library on Wednesday, September 17 (watch for clips and full content here and on YouTube all fall), and maybe even an unexpectedly spicy sit-down with a bishop emeritus.

This Week's Reading:

Luke 13:10–17 (NRSVue)

[10] Now [Jesus] was teaching in one of the synagogues on the Sabbath. [11] And just then there appeared a woman with a spirit that had crippled her for eighteen years. She was bent over and was quite unable to stand up straight. [12] When Jesus saw her, he called her over and said, “Woman, you are set free from your ailment.” [13] When he laid his hands on her, immediately she stood up straight and began praising God. [14] But the leader of the synagogue, indignant because Jesus had cured on the Sabbath, kept saying to the crowd, “There are six days on which work ought to be done; come on those days and be cured and not on the Sabbath day.” [15] But the Lord answered him and said, “You hypocrites! Does not each of you on the Sabbath untie his ox or his donkey from the manger and lead it to water? [16] And ought not this woman, a daughter of Abraham whom Satan bound for eighteen long years, be set free from this bondage on the Sabbath day?” [17] When he said this, all his opponents were put to shame, and the entire crowd was rejoicing at all the wonderful things being done by him.

Hosted by Pastor Eric Damon and Pastor Bob Schaefer.

Join the community!
Email us at cptbpod@gmail.com.
Find us at @cptbpod on most social media platforms.
More at linktr.ee/cptbpod

Music: Trickster by Phat Sounds
Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/10864-trickster
Licensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Scripture quotations are taken from the New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition. Copyright © 2021 National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

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It’s our last Short Take of the season, and Luke 12:49–56 is bringing the heat — literally. Jesus says he came to bring fire to the earth and division to households, not peace. We unpack what that means without sliding into persecution cosplay, and why this isn’t just a “Buddy Jesus” moment but a glimpse of a stressed-out, fully human Messiah.

Along the way, the conversation zigs: Strawberry Shortcake hair, Kim Possible vs. Wednesday Addams, Snickers ads for Jesus, and the cursed fig tree. Then it zigs again: Hebrew poetic parallelism meets the comedy “rule of threes,” Buddy Jesus meets the executed one, NOAA forecasts meet red skies at night.

And finally, the zag: political scenic routes, the real work of reading “the signs of the times,” and why following Jesus’ way will always create some friction. It’s absurd banter up front, deep biblical wrestling in the middle, and a few good puns at the end — classic CPTB.

This Week's Reading:

Luke 12:49–56 (NRSVue)

[49] [Jesus said,] “I have come to cast fire upon the earth, and how I wish it were already ablaze! [50] I have a baptism with which to be baptized, and what constraint I am under until it is completed! [51] Do you think that I have come to bring peace to the earth? No, I tell you, but rather division! [52] From now on five in one household will be divided, three against two and two against three; [53] they will be divided: father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against her daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law.” [54] He also said to the crowds, “When you see a cloud rising in the west, you immediately say, ‘It is going to rain,’ and so it happens. [55] And when you see the south wind blowing, you say, ‘There will be scorching heat,’ and it happens. [56] You hypocrites! You know how to interpret the appearance of earth and sky, but why do you not know how to interpret the present time?

Hosted by Pastor Eric Damon and Pastor Bob Schaefer.

Join the community!
Email us at cptbpod@gmail.com.
Find us at @cptbpod on most social media platforms.
More at linktr.ee/cptbpod

Music: Trickster by Phat Sounds
Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/10864-trickster
Licensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Scripture quotations are taken from the New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition. Copyright © 2021 National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.