Dealing With Anger Episode 2 Marshea Pratt: [00:00:00] [00:00:00]Hello everyone. You are listening to the Black and Brave Podcast, a podcast for those who truly want to be set free from the things that hold them back. My name is Marshea Pratt and I'm your host. Today's episode will be about dealing with anger. We've all had to face it at one time or another. It is my hope that this episode will empower you and encourage you. Enjoy. [00:00:23] Anger can be such a powerful force in our lives. And, in thinking about my childhood and my adulthood, and how anger has impacted my life, I just really feel compelled to share my story with all of you. [00:00:35] I went from a very angry child to a very peaceful adult. And, that took time and work. My struggles certainly aren't better or worse than anyone else. They're just my own unique experiences. But, I think they will resonate with you. So let's start where it all began. [00:00:52] I feel like anger kind of creeped up on me, little by little, during my childhood. I grew up in a town that definitely didn't have very many Black people. [00:01:00]At my school, it was just me and one other Black boy. That was it. It was probably kindergarten. when I had my very first experience with racism. [00:01:08] At first, it was just hurtful things that kids said verbally to me because, you know, kids can be mean and they don't care. They just say whatever is on their mind. But, I remember very specifically, there was this one day. A White boy said some super racist things to me and then he grabbed this big handful of dirt and threw it in my face and some of it got in my hair. [00:01:30] And you need to know, when you are dealing with a Black woman, a Black girl.... don't you ever, ever, ever, EVER touch her hair; throw things in her hair because she will go off! And, I certainly did that with this boy. I got into a huge fight. This kid was on the ground. My anger was at a 10. And it continued like that, from that day forward.[00:01:50] Fast forward to third grade. And, I can't remember the name of this particular teacher, but I do remember that on a regular basis, she would do very humiliating things to [00:02:00] me. One example of that is, on a particular day, she called my name and told me to go up to the front of the class. I walked up to the front of the class and I turned around and faced everyone. A sea full of White faces. And my teacher points to me, looks at all the other students and says, "Do you see this girl? This is an example of stupidity. I don't know why they let these people in this school. And I'm so sorry that you have to be in class with this girl. The best I can do is move her to the back of the room so at least you don't have to look at her while you're trying to learn." And, she proceeded to take my desk and move it from the front of the classroom all the way to the back. This didn't happen like back in the 50's or something. This is modern history of what happened to me. [00:02:44]And she would do all kinds of HUMILIATING stuff like that to me, on a regular basis. Trust and believe, I was the smartest kid in this class and she had the nerve to argue with the principal that I belong in a REMEDIAL class, simply because I was Black. Even [00:03:00] though I got A's on every single test, she didn't care. She was insistent that no Black person could possibly be smart. It was terrible. [00:03:08] It just piled on layers and layers of anger inside my heart. Although my mother had to step in and handle that teacher, I was determined to handle those kids. I thought to myself, if I make these kids scared of me, then nobody will ever bother me again. And so whether they had something bad to say to me or not, didn't matter. Even if they looked at me wrong, we were going to fight that day. I got into a lot of fights throughout all my years in school. [00:03:34] I was just angry all the time. My anger was also deeply personal in my private life. My Mom and Dad divorced when I was really young. He did not treat my mother well . I felt rejected by him. I felt unloved by him and that just piled on yet another layer on top of the anger that I was already feeling inside of me because of all the racist things that were going on at school. Now, granted, I did have a few friends here and there in school who were nice to [00:04:00] me and did try to help me. But, by that time, I wasn't trying to hear what anyone had to say. It just was easier to stay angry. As I got older, I continued to take out my anger on other people . [00:04:11] Anger was really more like a crutch because I knew if I stopped being angry and really address what was going on with me, I would have to be vulnerable. [00:04:19] I would have to open up to someone and talk through what I was feeling. Doing that was not an option because I had already tried to be vulnerable with a few people before and they had embarrassed me, ...
Afficher plus
Afficher moins
Mar 24 202128 min