Couverture de Beyond the Gray

Beyond the Gray

Beyond the Gray

De : Kari Schwear
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You’ve built something solid. A business. A reputation. A life that looks the part. But somewhere along the way, something started feeling off. Not broken. Not a crisis. Just… not right. Maybe the drinking has become more of a habit than you'd like to admit. Maybe the marriage is stable but not exactly alive. Maybe you're still driven, but the fire feels different. You're functioning at a high level — and wondering why that still isn't enough. Beyond the Gray explores the gray areas of life that successful people rarely talk about — including gray area drinking, midlife identity shifts, relationships, faith, health, and purpose. Host Kari Schwear, founder of GrayTonic, helps business owners, leaders, and high-achievers understand what’s driving their habits, reconnect with what actually matters, and lead their lives with the same intention they bring to their work. This isn’t a sobriety podcast. And there are no labels here. Just clarity, honesty, and conversations most people are too busy performing to have. While many of Kari’s clients are men over 50 navigating these transitions, the ideas explored here resonate with anyone ready to move beyond the gray. New episodes every Tuesday.© 2026 Kari Schwear Développement personnel Hygiène et vie saine Psychologie Psychologie et psychiatrie Réussite personnelle
Épisodes
  • How to Stop an Urge Before It Wins | A 5-Step Neuroscience Tool | Ep. 19

    How to Stop an Urge Before It Wins | A 5-Step Neuroscience Tool | Ep. 19
    Jun 23 2026
    What happens when you feel the urge or nudge to drink and you know you are better off without it? Back in 2018, I was 18 months sober, standing in a grocery store, staring at a display of Chardonnay right next to the fish counter. My mouth was salivating. My brain was screaming, "Just buy it." And I did the only thing I could think of. I yelled "STOP" out loud. In the middle of the store. In front of everyone.That moment became the foundation of everything I now teach my clients. In Episode 19 of Beyond the Gray, I'm sharing the SABER Method for the first time on the podcast. It's a five-step, neuroscience-backed tool for the exact moment when life tries to pull you back into old patterns. Not motivation. Not willpower. An actual map for what to do when the urge hits and your brain is on fire.In this episode you'll hear:• The full grocery store story: 18 months sober, one bad day, and a display of Chardonnay• Why willpower is a lie and what actually works in the moment• Cognitive dissonance explained: the internal power struggle between who you were and who you're becoming• The six core universal emotions and how they trigger old patterns before your conscious mind catches up• Protective states vs. expansive states and how to move between them• Neuroplasticity and neurosculpting: how every SABER practice builds a new neural pathway• The full SABER Method breakdown: Stop, Acknowledge, Breathe, Embrace, Redirect• Why "embrace" is the step most people skip and why it might be the most important• How to use SABER as a verb: "SABER your way through" any tough moment• A practice you can start today and questions to sit with this weekIf you've ever had a moment where the old version of you showed up uninvited and you didn't know what to do, this episode gives you the exact tool to handle it. Not someday. Right now.—————THE SABER METHODS — Stop (say it out loud)A — Acknowledge (observe without obeying)B — Breathe (calm the nervous system)E — Embrace (give yourself grace)R — Redirect (gratitude + a new powerful decision)—————New episodes drop weekly. Subscribe so you don't miss what's coming next.TAKE THE GRAY AREA AUDIT👇Not sure where your gray areas actually are? The Gray Area Audit is free, takes about 15 minutes, and looks at all four Core Four areas of your life: body, being, balance, and business. It will show you exactly where you're living in the gray and what it might be costing you.DOWNLOAD THE FREE AUDIT HEREWant to go deeper? The Gray Area Insights Experience includes a behavioral scan and two coaching sessions designed for leaders who are ready to shift.Gray Area Insights Experience 👇https://www.graytonic.com/coaching-programs-leaders-couples/#insightBook a Call with Kari:https://calendly.com/karischwear/45minVisit the Website:https://www.graytonic.com/Email: hello@graytonic.com—————CONNECT WITH KARILinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/karischwear/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/beyondthegray.podcast/—————EPISODES REFERENCEDEpisode 18: Intentionality and Awareness—————TOPICS COVEREDSABER Method, how to stop drinking urges, resisting alcohol cravings, gray area drinking tools, cognitive dissonance alcohol, willpower doesn't work, neuroplasticity and habits, neurosculpting, protective vs expansive state, pattern interrupt, stop drinking method, Kari Schwear, GrayTonic, Beyond the Gray podcast, midlife sobriety, high performers and alcohol, craving management, alcohol-free tools, sober tools—————If you've ever had a moment where the old you almost won, share this episode with someone who needs a map for what to do next time. The SABER Method might be the tool they've been looking for.#SABERMethod #GrayAreaDrinking #StopDrinkingUrges #CognitivDissonance #WillpowerDoesntWork #Neuroplasticity #BeyondTheGray #KariSchwear #GrayTonic #AlcoholFree #PatternInterrupt #MidlifeSobriety #SoberTools #HighPerformers #SABERYourWayThrough #ProtectiveToExpansive #NewNeuralPathways
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    23 min
  • Why High Performers Ignore What’s Broken (And the 5-Minute Habit That Changes Everything) |Ep.18

    Why High Performers Ignore What’s Broken (And the 5-Minute Habit That Changes Everything) |Ep.18
    Jun 16 2026

    You already know something is off. You've known for a while. And yet you keep hoping it'll somehow fix itself while you pour another drink to make it easier to not think about it. Sound familiar? This episode is for you.

    In this solo episode, Kari Schwear breaks down the pattern she sees in high-performing men over and over again. One area of life is thriving while everything else is quietly collapsing. Great business, dying marriage. Just quit drinking, but now the faith is gone and the health is declining. The blinders are on and the hope-it-fixes-itself strategy is running the show. She shares the cultural lies that keep you stuck, what Scripture actually says about trying to compartmentalize your life, her own experience with tunnel vision after she quit drinking, and the one five-minute daily tool called WIGS that creates the awareness and intentionality needed to finally address what you've been ignoring.

    This one is practical, honest, and hits exactly where it needs to.

    In this episode you'll hear:

    • Why high-performing men focus on the one thing that's working and ignore everything else
    • How alcohol fills the gap when awareness isn't paired with intentionality
    • The hustle culture lies that keep successful people stuck
    • What Matthew 6:33 and Matthew 12:25 say about trying to compartmentalize your life
    • Kari's own tunnel vision story after she quit drinking and what it cost her
    • The WIGS framework: Wins, Intentions, and Gratitudes, a five-minute nightly habit that changes everything
    • A real-life example of what WIGS looks like for a man whose business is thriving but his marriage is not
    • How WIGS ties into the DECIDE method and why daily habits are the foundation of real change
    • A practical next step: the Gray Area Audit and how it shows you what you've been ignoring

    If you've been grinding harder and hoping everything else catches up, it won't. But intentionality will get you there. This episode shows you exactly how to start.


    TAKE THE GRAY AREA AUDIT

    Not sure where your gray areas actually are? The Gray Area Audit is free, takes about 15 minutes, and looks at all four Core 4 areas of your life: Body, Being, Balance, and Business. It will show you exactly where you're living in the gray and what it might be costing you. Download it HERE.

    READY TO GO DEEPER?

    The Gray Area Insights Experience is a private, structured coaching experience designed for high-performing leaders and business owners who know something is off. It's not a group program. It's not a webinar. It's a real conversation about your real life across all four areas: Body, Being, Balance, and Business.

    Gray Area Insights Experience

    https://www.graytonic.com/coaching-programs-leaders-couples/#insight

    Book a Call with Kari:

    https://calendly.com/karischwear/45min

    Visit the Website:

    https://www.graytonic.com/


    CONNECT WITH KARI

    LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/karischwear/

    Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/beyondthegray.podcast/


    RESOURCES MENTIONED

    Gray Area Audit (free download) - linked in show notes

    DECIDE Method - introduced in earlier Beyond the Gray episodes

    Brian Bogart - concept of AI: Awareness + Intentionality

    Matthew 6:33 - Seek first the kingdom of God

    Matthew 12:25 - A house divided against itself cannot stand


    TOPICS COVERED

    gray area drinking, gray area life, Kari Schwear, Beyond the Gray podcast, GrayTonic, why men ignore problems, high performers and burnout, awareness and intentionality, WIGS method, wins intentions gratitudes, daily habits for men, midlife men and marriage, gray area drinking midlife, how to stop numbing, men over 50 health, Core 4 framework, Body Being Balance Business, DECIDE method, hustle culture lies, marriage and business balance, faith and success, Christian men midlife, Matthew 6 33, tunnel vision and self improvement, how to get unstuck, gratitude journaling, intentional living, gray area audit, executive life coach, life transformation, men's mental health, drinking and stress, quitting alcohol midlife


    New episodes drop weekly. Subscribe so you don't miss what's coming next.
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    22 min
  • We Thought We Had More Time | What My Father's Unexpected Passing Taught Me About Life | Ep.17

    We Thought We Had More Time | What My Father's Unexpected Passing Taught Me About Life | Ep.17
    Jun 9 2026

    My dad passed away the morning of this recording. This episode wasn't planned. I hit record because something happened this week that made everything else feel insignificant. Twenty-three family members gathered in Branson, Missouri. We laughed, we played games, we sat on the porch together. My dad told my husband, "You won't see me tomorrow, Rob. I'm going home." We didn't know how true those words would be.

    This isn't a grief story. This is a wake-up call. Because gray areas are dangerous precisely because nothing ever feels urgent inside them. We always think there's more time. More chances. More tomorrows. And then life steps in and reminds us that we were never guaranteed any of it.

    In this episode you'll hear:

    • The last week I spent with my dad and why it became the greatest gift of my life

    • His final words to Rob and what they meant

    • Why I'm only talking about three of the Core Four today (and why business doesn't matter)

    • A plea about faith, getting right with God, and what watching someone die teaches you about living

    • What carrying the APOE4 gene for Alzheimer's on both sides means for how I live now

    • The respiratory nurse named Eric who showed our family what it looks like to live your faith out loud

    • Why you need to stop postponing the conversation, the trip, the relationship, and the change

    • Rob's words that changed everything: "A piece of your father gets to live on through you"

    If you've been putting something off because you think there's still time, this episode is going to sit with you. And I hope it moves you to stop waiting.

    —————

    TAKE THE GRAY AREA AUDIT

    Not sure where your gray areas actually are? The Gray Area Audit is free, takes about 15 minutes, and looks at all four Core Four areas of your life: body, being, balance, and business. It will show you exactly where you're living in the gray and what it might be costing you.
    https://www.graytonic.com/gray-area-audit/

    Book a Call with Kari:

    https://calendly.com/karischwear/45min

    Visit the Website:

    https://www.graytonic.com/

    —————

    CONNECT WITH KARI

    LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/karischwear/

    Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/beyondthegray.podcast/

    —————

    TOPICS COVERED

    losing a parent, grief and gratitude, don't wait, life is short, Alzheimer's, APOE4 gene, faith and death, gray area drinking, stop postponing, Core Four, body being balance business, midlife wake-up call, intentional living, relationships matter, time is finite

    —————

    New episodes drop weekly. Subscribe so you don't miss what's coming next.

    If this episode moved you, please share it with someone who needs to hear it. Sometimes the most important message is the simplest one: don't wait.

    #DontWait #LifeIsShort #LosingAParent #GriefAndGratitude #GrayAreaDrinking #BeyondTheGray #KariSchwear #GrayTonic #FaithAndLoss #IntentionalLiving #CoreFour #StopPostponing #Alzheimers #APOE4 #MidlifeWakeUpCall #TreasureEveryDay
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    20 min
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