In this episode of An Evolving Man, Piers speaks with Kara Blackmore — a trauma-informed coach specialising in the long-term emotional and nervous system impacts of boarding school experiences, especially for women.

Kara shares her personal story: choosing boarding school at age 10, the shock of early separation, and the reality of living in an environment with minimal adult supervision, rigid control, and peer-led power dynamics. Together, Piers and Kara explore how emotional neglect and chronic stress can shape adulthood — from hyper-independence and people-pleasing to perfectionism, difficulty resting, and challenges with intimacy, trust, and receiving support.

This conversation is honest, powerful, and at times harrowing — but it also offers hope. Kara speaks about the healing journey: awareness, learning emotional language, inner child work, nervous system safety, and building a life that makes your “soul sing.”

Key themes include:

• “I chose to go” and why childhood “choice” isn’t true consent
• emotional neglect, lack of nurturing, and chronic loneliness
• puberty, privacy, and missing maternal support
• perfectionism/control as a survival strategy
• why ex-boarders struggle to rest, receive, and ask for help
• healing through awareness, compassion, and nervous system repair

Find Kara: https://karablackmorecoach.com/
Also on Facebook and Instagram.

If you found this episode meaningful, please share it — these stories stay hidden for decades, and speaking them is how change happens.

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

In this episode, Piers explores the concept of moral injury and asks whether boarding school environments can create a deep, values-based psychological wound in children.

Moral injury occurs when someone is forced to act against, witness, or remain silent in the face of behaviour that violates their inner moral values. Unlike PTSD, which is fear-based, moral injury is rooted in guilt, shame, loss of integrity, and betrayal of self.

Drawing on lived experience, survivor stories, and trauma-informed perspectives, this episode explores how institutional environments override a child’s moral compass — forcing silence, complicity, and self-betrayal as survival strategies.

Topics include:

• Moral injury vs PTSD
• Boarding school as an ethical conflict for children
• Witnessing abuse and being unable to intervene
• Dissociation and loss of authenticity
• Long-term impacts on mental health, leadership, and relationships
• Pathways to healing through truth-telling, moral coherence, and self-compassion

This episode is especially relevant for former boarders, educators, clinicians, leaders, and anyone interested in trauma-informed leadership and child protection.

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

Here is the link to reach out to your MP for the screening in the House of Commons: https://seenheard.org.uk/boarding-on-insanity-parliamentary-screening/

In this New Year reflection episode, I share an update on the upcoming House of Commons screening of Boarding on Insanity and explore a powerful insight that emerged for me over Christmas while watching the Ashes series.

Why does England’s cricket team — full of talent — so often struggle under pressure?

Drawing on research from the Sutton Trust, Nick Duffell’s Wounded Leaders, and trauma experts including Judith Herman, Peter Levine, and Bessel van der Kolk, I explore how early boarding school experiences shape the nervous system — particularly our ability to regulate stress.

We discuss:

• why many former boarders struggle to access the parasympathetic “rest and digest” state
• how dissociation works under pressure — and why it eventually fails
• why England’s performance improved once the pressure of winning was removed
• how unresolved childhood stress shows up in leadership, sport, and public life

I also share a simple nervous system regulation practice I use personally and with clients — helping leaders move from chronic stress into safety, embodiment, and clarity.

This episode connects leadership, sport, trauma, and child development — and asks what might be possible if we became a trauma-informed society.

📌 House of Commons Screening – 19 January
Please contact your MP and support the call for mandatory reporting and improved child protection.

Thank you for listening, and for being part of this movement.

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/