In this episode of An Evolving Man, Piers speaks with Kara Blackmore — a trauma-informed coach specialising in the long-term emotional and nervous system impacts of boarding school experiences, especially for women.

Kara shares her personal story: choosing boarding school at age 10, the shock of early separation, and the reality of living in an environment with minimal adult supervision, rigid control, and peer-led power dynamics. Together, Piers and Kara explore how emotional neglect and chronic stress can shape adulthood — from hyper-independence and people-pleasing to perfectionism, difficulty resting, and challenges with intimacy, trust, and receiving support.

This conversation is honest, powerful, and at times harrowing — but it also offers hope. Kara speaks about the healing journey: awareness, learning emotional language, inner child work, nervous system safety, and building a life that makes your “soul sing.”

Key themes include:

• “I chose to go” and why childhood “choice” isn’t true consent
• emotional neglect, lack of nurturing, and chronic loneliness
• puberty, privacy, and missing maternal support
• perfectionism/control as a survival strategy
• why ex-boarders struggle to rest, receive, and ask for help
• healing through awareness, compassion, and nervous system repair

Find Kara: https://karablackmorecoach.com/
Also on Facebook and Instagram.

If you found this episode meaningful, please share it — these stories stay hidden for decades, and speaking them is how change happens.

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

In this episode, Piers explores the concept of moral injury and asks whether boarding school environments can create a deep, values-based psychological wound in children.

Moral injury occurs when someone is forced to act against, witness, or remain silent in the face of behaviour that violates their inner moral values. Unlike PTSD, which is fear-based, moral injury is rooted in guilt, shame, loss of integrity, and betrayal of self.

Drawing on lived experience, survivor stories, and trauma-informed perspectives, this episode explores how institutional environments override a child’s moral compass — forcing silence, complicity, and self-betrayal as survival strategies.

Topics include:

• Moral injury vs PTSD
• Boarding school as an ethical conflict for children
• Witnessing abuse and being unable to intervene
• Dissociation and loss of authenticity
• Long-term impacts on mental health, leadership, and relationships
• Pathways to healing through truth-telling, moral coherence, and self-compassion

This episode is especially relevant for former boarders, educators, clinicians, leaders, and anyone interested in trauma-informed leadership and child protection.

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

Here is the link to reach out to your MP for the screening in the House of Commons: https://seenheard.org.uk/boarding-on-insanity-parliamentary-screening/

In this New Year reflection episode, I share an update on the upcoming House of Commons screening of Boarding on Insanity and explore a powerful insight that emerged for me over Christmas while watching the Ashes series.

Why does England’s cricket team — full of talent — so often struggle under pressure?

Drawing on research from the Sutton Trust, Nick Duffell’s Wounded Leaders, and trauma experts including Judith Herman, Peter Levine, and Bessel van der Kolk, I explore how early boarding school experiences shape the nervous system — particularly our ability to regulate stress.

We discuss:

• why many former boarders struggle to access the parasympathetic “rest and digest” state
• how dissociation works under pressure — and why it eventually fails
• why England’s performance improved once the pressure of winning was removed
• how unresolved childhood stress shows up in leadership, sport, and public life

I also share a simple nervous system regulation practice I use personally and with clients — helping leaders move from chronic stress into safety, embodiment, and clarity.

This episode connects leadership, sport, trauma, and child development — and asks what might be possible if we became a trauma-informed society.

📌 House of Commons Screening – 19 January
Please contact your MP and support the call for mandatory reporting and improved child protection.

Thank you for listening, and for being part of this movement.

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

This week I rewatched Home Alone — and realised it can be viewed as a surprisingly powerful study of child development, attachment, and the psychology of separation.

Kevin is eight years old — an age that matters deeply in the UK context, because it has historically been an age when many children began boarding school. In this short reflection, I explore key moments in the film through a boarding-school lens, drawing on the work of Joy Schaverien and Nick Duffell.

We reflect on:

• why “not knowing the basics” at eight is development — not failure
• the confusion children experience when we warn them about strangers, then send them to live with strangers
• the mother’s panic response and what it reveals about attachment
• rupture and repair — and why apology matters
• why many ex-boarders don’t tell their parents what really happened

A gentle, thoughtful Christmas reflection — and a question for all of us:
What kind of childhood are we protecting… and what kind are we cutting short?

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

In this reflective episode, Piers Cross explores boarding school, the mother wound, and the lasting impact of early separation from parents — particularly as Christmas approaches.

Inspired by a powerful public conversation between Amelia White and her mother, Piers reflects on how boarding school disrupts natural attachment, prevents rupture and repair, and often leaves relationships with parents — especially mothers — emotionally distant.

Drawing on personal experience, clinical insight, and the work of Nick Duffell, Joy Schaverien, Suzanne Zeedyk, and Alex Renton, this episode explores why so many former boarders live far from home, struggle to trust caregivers, and carry grief that is rarely named.

This is a compassionate, trauma-informed exploration of loss, responsibility, listening, and healing — and an invitation to reflect more deeply during the holiday season.

For the conversation between Amelia and her mother: https://youtu.be/ZofjtmiMidw?si=uyEKeRDT-WrAUQj-

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

For the article in the Telegraph: https://www.telegraph.co.uk/education-and-careers/2025/12/03/working-at-a-boarding-school-is-like-being-in-a-cult/

And for the letter to write to your MP: https://seenheard.org.uk/boarding-on-insanity-parliamentary-screening/

In this short solo episode, I share an update and a heartfelt thank you.

On 19th January 2026, we’ll be hosting a special screening of our documentary Boarding on Insanity inside the House of Commons. We’re inviting MPs, charity leaders and the media to confront an uncomfortable truth:

In this episode I talk about:

• Why this screening matters so much
• The urgent need for effective mandatory reporting
• Why a dedicated Child Protection Agency is essential
• How institutions often close ranks and punish whistleblowers
• What you can do today to help protect children

👉 Please contact your MP.
A simple template letter and guidance on how to find your MP are available via the link in the show notes. It only takes a few minutes and it genuinely makes a difference to how many MPs show up in January. https://seenheard.org.uk/boarding-on-insanity-parliamentary-screening/

Thank you for your support, your courage, and your willingness to stand with survivors. Together, we can change this.

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

In this episode of An Evolving Man Podcast (AEM #146), I speak with Ian Keys, an ex-boarder, youth worker and newly qualified counsellor, about what really happens when neurodiverse children move through a schooling system that doesn’t understand them.

Ian started boarding school at 11 and left with no qualifications, convinced he was “thick”. Decades later, after working with excluded teenagers, forest school groups, neurodivergent young people and national-level athletes, he began to see the truth: the problem was never his intelligence – it was the environment.

Together we explore:

• How dyslexia and neurodiversity show up in the classroom – and how easily they are misread
• Boarding school syndrome, dissociation and the survival strategies children develop
• The idea of Adverse School Experiences (ASEs) and how they sit alongside ACEs
• Shaming practices (like “being sent to Coventry”) and their long-term impact on self-worth
• What Scandinavian education offers as a different model: attachment, play, nature and trust
• Practical ways adults can begin to heal and “rewrite the story” after harmful schooling

This episode is for ex-boarders, neurodivergent adults, therapists, teachers, parents – and anyone who suspects that school left deeper marks than they realised.

🔗 Find out more about Ian’s work and writing on adverse school experiences via his website http://www.iankeys.co.uk/

If this conversation resonates, please share it with someone who might need to hear it.

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

Are boarding schools reaching the end of the road?

To contact your MP to get them to attend the House of Commons screening please visit here: https://seenheard.org.uk/boarding-on-insanity-parliamentary-screening/

In today’s episode, I reflect on last week’s conference honouring Dr Joy Schaverien and share surprising insights from conversations with people working inside the current boarding school system. Many schools appear to be moving into survival mode — and the strategies they’re using may be accelerating their decline.

We look at:

• Why prep schools are being pushed back into the pipeline
• How trauma patterns influence leadership decisions
• Why emotional intelligence is the future of education
• What AI, neuroscience and attachment theory reveal about outdated schooling models
• The growing national movement calling for child safety and systemic reform

With a major screening of Boarding on Insanity inside the Houses of Parliament this January, momentum is shifting fast. The next decade may bring profound change to how we educate and protect children.

If this episode resonates, please share it — and consider writing to your MP using the link in the show notes. Change happens when we act together.

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/