What if preparing for the future wasn’t morbid… but empowering? In this episode, I sit down with Vicky Jones, founder of Ourlives, former social care director, mum of two, and someone who learned early in life that everything can change with a single knock at the door. Drawing on 25 years in health and social care, her own ADHD diagnosis, sobriety journey, and the sudden loss of her father, Vicky is on a mission to stop people waiting for crisis before taking action.

Whether you’re a paid carer, an unpaid family caregiver, a teacher supporting overwhelmed families, or a parent trying to balance your own future alongside your children’s, this conversation offers something essential: clarity, calm, and a roadmap for what so many people avoid thinking about until it’s too late.

We unpack why people discount their future selves, the emotional blocks that stop families having conversations they desperately need, and the key steps every adult should take long before aging, illness or caring responsibilities hit.

• Ourlives – Future planning community & tools Website: https://www.ourlivesapp.com Life Audit (free questionnaire): Add link once live

• Connect with Vicky Jones LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/victoria-jones-2906ab83 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ourlivesapp TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@ourlivesapp Email: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abletraining/

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abletrainingexperience

• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/

• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast

If you’ve ever felt like you’ve “tried everything” with a child or adult showing distressing behaviour—this episode is for you. In this solo episode, Andy Baker, behaviour specialist and author of Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge, breaks down the misunderstood world of Positive Behaviour Support (PBS).

With real-life examples and practical insights, Andy explores why PBS is more than a poster on the wall. It’s a mindset and a method—rooted in assessment, adaptation and empathy. Whether you’re a caregiver, teacher, or parent, this episode offers a compassionate and science-backed look at how to reduce distress, not just manage behaviour.

• 📘 Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge by Andy Baker: Buy on Amazon

• 🧠 The Able Target System: able-training.co.uk/ats

• 🖥️ Learn more about Able Training’s behaviour courses: www.able-training.co.uk/podcast

1. PBS isn’t soft—it’s strategic. It’s about analysing the function of behaviour, not just punishing the form.

2. Every behaviour has a benefit. If you don’t see it, you’re not asking the right question yet.

3. Focus on skill-building, not shaming. Replacement behaviours work best when they meet the same need in a safer way.

• 00:00 – Behaviour vs Punishment: Why "we’ve tried everything" often isn’t true

• 00:42 – What is Positive Behaviour Support?: A real-world breakdown

• 01:08 – Integrating Trauma-Informed Practice: Going beyond the behaviour

• 02:01 – The 6-Stage TARGET Model: Andy’s unique approach to PBS

• 03:43 – Real-World Example: Head-Scratcher Strategy

• 06:19 – Skill-Building vs Compliance: Teaching safer ways to meet needs

• 07:42 – Autonomy and the Competing Pathway

• 08:29 – Why PBS Often Fails (and how to fix it)

• 10:21 – Book Excerpt: Weathering Behaviour with Insight

• If you’re a parent or carer constantly firefighting distress without long-term change

• If you’re a teacher struggling to apply behaviour policies to neurodiverse students

• If you want a clear, compassionate alternative to sanctions, shame, and suppression This episode offers tools you can start using today—rooted in neuroscience, not guesswork.

🌐 Podcast hub: www.able-training.co.uk/podcast

In this deeply moving and often joyful episode of the Able to Care podcast, Andy Baker is joined by Peter Berry, who lives with Alzheimer’s, and Deb Bunt, author, counsellor and Peter’s close friend. Together, they explore what it truly means to live well with dementia — not through clinical labels or deficits, but through friendship, dignity, purpose and shared humanity.

This conversation will resonate strongly with family carers, professional caregivers, teachers and anyone supporting someone with additional needs, as it challenges common assumptions about memory, identity and “loss”. Peter and Deb share honest reflections on diagnosis, stigma, trust, cycling challenges, writing together, and the idea of being an “external memory” — all grounded in a relationship that prioritises connection over care and moments over memories.

• 00:01 – Living with a dementia diagnosis: shame, silence and the turning point

• 05:30 – Purpose, advocacy and planting a new future

• 06:30 – Not being defined by dementia

• 08:45 – Dignity, stigma and the “shabby coat” metaphor

• 13:50 – Living in the moment and finding joy

• 17:10 – Metaphors, meaning and communicating the unsayable

• 19:20 – Cycling, challenge and staying active

• 25:50 – Life after diagnosis: what is still possible

• 33:15 – “External memory”, trust and friendship

• 41:45 – Making moments, not memories

• 47:00 – Support versus care and mutual relationships

• 56:05 – Messages for those newly diagnosed or supporting someone

• 59:05 – Books, advocacy and what comes next

1. Dementia does not erase identity Peter is not “a person with dementia” — he is Peter. Diagnosis may change memory, but it does not remove personality, humour, values or worth.

2. Dignity is shaped by how we respond As Peter powerfully explains, dignity isn’t taken by dementia itself, but by how others react to the label. Compassionate responses preserve humanity.

3. Moments matter more than memories You may not be able to create lasting memories — but you can always create meaningful moments. Joy exists in the here and now.

• Slow Puncture – Living Well with Dementia Available in print, Kindle and audiobook

• Walk with Me – Musings Through the Dementia Fog

• Patching the Puncture – Continuing to Live Well with Dementia (Released February 2026) 👉 Pre-order: https://bookguild.co.uk/bookshop/memoir/patching-the-puncture

• 🌐 Peter & Deb’s website and media appearances: https://www.peter-berry.com

If you support someone living with dementia — professionally or personally — this episode offers hope, clarity and a reframe. You’ll gain:

• A deeper understanding of memory, identity and emotional connection

• Practical insights into supporting someone without diminishing them

• Reassurance that life, joy and purpose do not end with diagnosis

• A reminder that friendship, humour and dignity still matter deeply

This is not a conversation about “managing dementia” — it’s about being human together.

• Deb Bunt – Author & Advocate LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/deb-bunt-ab247524/ Instagram: @deb.bunt Twitter/X: @debbunt

• Peter Berry – Living with Alzheimer’s Facebook: Peter Berry Living with Alzheimer’s Website & media: https://www.peter-berry.com

Why trauma-informed practice isn’t soft — it’s smart, strategic, and essential for real behavioural change.

In this solo episode of the Able to Care podcast, behaviour specialist Andy Baker unpacks a powerful mindset shift: what if “won’t behave” is really “can’t cope”? With relatable examples from schools, care settings and families, Andy explores how trauma impacts the nervous system, why traditional discipline strategies often backfire, and how a more compassionate, strategic approach creates better outcomes for everyone. If you support children or adults with complex needs, this episode offers practical insights to rethink behaviour, build connection, and respond with clarity—not just consequences.

• Book: Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge by Andy Baker Order now on Amazon UK

• Able Training – Trauma and Attachment Courses https://www.able-training.co.uk

1. Behaviour is Communication: What looks like defiance is often the nervous system protecting itself.

2. Language and Goals Matter: Swap “What’s wrong with you?” for “What happened to you?” and “Compliance” for “Safety.”

3. Connection Before Correction: Build trust and co-regulation before expecting behavioural change.

00:00 – Why trauma isn’t a behaviour problem 00:57 – The story of Ryan: behaviour in context 03:01 – Understanding fight, flight, freeze and fawn 04:49 – The brain’s alarm system and trauma response 07:35 – The behaviours we misinterpret: defiance, shutdown, hyperactivity 08:58 – Shame, punishment, and internalised beliefs 09:18 – Language swap: from blame to curiosity 10:05 – Goal swap: from control to safety 11:00 – Strategy swap: from punishment to teaching regulation 12:03 – The golden question: “What are you trying to protect right now?”

Whether you're a teacher facing ‘challenging’ behaviour in the classroom, a foster carer navigating emotional outbursts, or a support worker helping someone who keeps shutting down—this episode reframes what behaviour really means. Learn how trauma impacts the body and brain, and why responding with curiosity and connection changes everything.

• 🌐 Website & Podcast Hub

• 📸 @AbleTraining

• 💼 Able Training

• 📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast

What happens when the person you once cared for… becomes the person you are?

In this deeply moving and insightful episode of the Able to Care podcast, host Andy Baker speaks with Michael Booth – dementia educator, author, and advocate – who brings a rare dual perspective to the conversation. Michael first cared for his mother, Christine, through young onset dementia. Then, just months after she passed away, he received the same diagnosis himself, at just 46 years old.

Now 51, Michael is defying expectations. He’s speaking out, mentoring others, and sharing his powerful message: dementia is not the end. This conversation challenges misconceptions about identity, memory, and diagnosis – and offers practical guidance for anyone supporting a loved one with dementia.

If you're a parent, teacher, or caregiver, this episode will help you better understand distress behaviours, communication, and how to stay present when everything feels uncertain.

• 📖 Dementia: You Are Not Alone by Michael Booth – Order on Amazon

• 🏥 Tees, Esk and Wear Valleys NHS Trust – Website

• 🌐 Able Training Podcast Archive – able-training.co.uk/podcast

1. Dementia is not the end – A diagnosis does not erase who someone is.

2. Behaviour is communication – Even ‘aggression’ often signals distress, confusion, or unmet need.

3. Perspective matters – Understanding dementia through both the eyes of a carer and the person living with it changes everything.

• 00:00 – What if the person you cared for became you?

• 03:00 – What it feels like to live with dementia day to day

• 06:20 – Lessons from caring for his mum Christine

• 10:40 – Receiving his own diagnosis at 46

• 17:00 – What people get wrong about identity and dementia

• 22:00 – Can you still enjoy life after a dementia diagnosis?

• 26:00 – What really helps on a good day

• 30:00 – Writing Dementia: You Are Not Alone

• 36:00 – How services need to change

• 50:00 – If you’ve just had a diagnosis: Michael’s message to you

• Gain insight into young onset dementia from both carer and lived experience

• Understand how language, environment, and expectations shape support

• Learn how to build emotional safety when words are lost but feelings remain

• Be inspired by Michael’s resilience, clarity, and practical wisdom

This is a must-listen for anyone navigating dementia – professionally or personally.

• 📘 Dementia: You Are Not Alone – Buy on Amazon

• 💼 Michael Booth on LinkedIn

• 🌐 Website & Podcast Hub

• 📸 @AbleTraining

• 💼 Able Training

If you’ve ever supported someone living with dementia and been faced with shouting, swearing, hitting, or refusal of care, this episode is for you.

In this solo episode, Andy Baker unpacks one of the most misunderstood areas of dementia care: behaviour that looks aggressive but is almost always communication driven by distress. Drawing on years of experience in behaviour support, Andy helps caregivers, teachers, and parents move away from labels like “challenging” or “difficult” and instead understand what the behaviour is trying to say.

You’ll learn why dementia affects far more than memory, how fear, pain, confusion, trauma, overstimulation, and even poor care practice can drive behaviour — and most importantly, what to do in the moment. Andy shares a simple, practical three‑step response framework and language you can use immediately to de‑escalate situations while protecting your own wellbeing.

This episode is especially valuable for anyone feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, or unsure whether they’re “handling things right”.

00:00 – Aggression or communication? Reframing behaviour in dementia 00:49 – Why dementia affects personality, perception, and processing 01:10 – Why behaviour becomes the fastest communication channel 02:22 – Fight, flight, and the safety of saying “no” 03:30 – From “challenging behaviour” to “distress behaviour” 04:19 – Hidden drivers: pain, fear, trauma, overstimulation, under‑stimulation 05:12 – When behaviour isn’t dementia — it’s poor care 06:07 – A simple 3‑step response framework 06:29 – Step 1: Pause, protect, and regulate yourself 06:58 – Step 2: Scan for unmet needs (HELP model) 07:31 – Step 3: Adjust, connect, and reduce distress 08:13 – What to say when someone is frightened or overwhelmed 09:05 – The HEART approach: Hear, Empathise, Align, Reassure, Transition 10:26 – Why “calm down” doesn’t work 10:51 – Caregiver regulation and burnout 11:52 – The core message: behaviour is communication 12:22 – Resource: Targeting the Positive

1. Aggression in dementia is rarely intentional What looks like defiance or hostility is often a terrified brain trying to cope with confusion, pain, or fear.

2. Behaviour makes sense when you understand the context Distress behaviours are often driven by unmet physical, emotional, cognitive, or environmental needs — not the diagnosis itself.

3. You can’t calm someone else if you’re dysregulated Supporting distress starts with your own regulation. Compassionate care requires supported carers.

• Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge by Andy Baker A practical, person‑centred guide to understanding and responding to distressed and dysregulated behaviour across dementia, trauma, neurodiversity, and mental health. Click here to find out more

• You’re supporting someone with dementia and struggling with aggression, refusal, or distress

• You want practical language and tools, not theory

• You’re tired of feeling blamed, judged, or unsure

• You want to support others without losing yourself

• You believe behaviour has meaning — and want to understand it better

This episode offers reassurance, clarity, and immediately usable strategies grounded in empathy and realism.