The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City reunion is underway! Heather was acting snake-y in a dance dress. Lisa used Ben Affleck as an alibi for a secret facelift in Miami. And Bronwyn kept her lips as sealed as her criminal case files! Time to saturate your winter split ends in Kérastase, take a DNA test to find out if you’re New York “thick and through” just like Lisa (Sure, Jan.), and tune in to this week’s A Therapeutic Dose!

Shady playwright, Stella, and her band of lady-clowns in flowy dresses read the Sisters of Salt for filth in Santorini and fixed the spotlight, once again, on Martyr-dith Marks. The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City finale took us from fun, frothy cappuccinos in the morning, to a dramatic intervention via Ancient Greek theater troupe in the evening, followed by Oscar worthy, trauma-dumping monologues from all! Time to grab some food from the buffet (Yes, Britani. You serve yourself.), cozy up on TOP of your sheets, and tune in to this week’s A Therapeutic Dose!

On The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, Mrs. Marks’ melodrama reaches new heights, and High-Body-Count Hair reaches trademark status. Greece fills out the cast this week with donkeys and Giovanni. The donkeys can keep their diarrhea, but we’re feeling Giovanni - King of DIY moussaka and comforting drama queens! Time to put on your best businessperson bathing suit, create an ultra-complex, unclear sticker chart bit, and tune in to this week’s A Therapeutic Dose!