I Blame Barbie!
A Memoir of a Million Jobs
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Britni Alleman
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Britni Alleman
You know that doll with the dream house, the sports car, the astronaut suit, and seventeen other careers? Yeah. She ruined B.A.D.'s life.
I Blame Barbie! is the unfiltered autobiography of a woman who spent 30+ years chasing every career Barbie ever had — and hating most of them. From scooping ice cream at 14 to bombing auditions in Seattle, from surviving the soul-crushing trenches of retail to directing a sold-out run of Tuesdays with Morrie, B.A.D. has done it all. She's been a massage therapist, bartender, wine tour guide, park ranger, actress, model, set builder, cannabis trimmer, English teacher, and about a million other things she'd rather forget.
Told with zero filter and maximum profanity, this is the story of a woman who couldn't commit to a career, found her voice anyway, and learned — the very hard way — that the journey was the whole damn point.
Funny. Raw. Unapologetically real.
Some names have been changed to protect the author from lawsuits.
©2026 Britni Alleman (P)2026 Britni Alleman