honestly… not the update i thought i’d be giving this week.

this was supposed to be a “numbers episode” — timelines, growth, what’s actually possible with this project.

and we do get there.

but first, we need to talk about what happens when the people closest to you… don’t really believe in what you’re building.

or worse — they think you’re just “having fun” while your life quietly falls apart.

this is about:

• the weird loneliness of starting something real
• the difference between supportive people vs aligned people
• what it feels like when your world splits in two
• and why i still think this is going to work (like… really work)

also: we finally get into the numbers. the actual ones.

if you’re building something from nothing — this one’s for you.

This week, everything cracked open a little.

I accidentally fell into one of the most inspiring moments in recent history (Artemis II, duh!) (hi, moon mission 😭), I cried about it for 24 hours, and somehow ended up rethinking everything I thought I knew about productivity, creativity, and what it actually means to build a life that feels good.

In this episode we get into identity, mindset, and what it actually feels like to start building something from zero. I talk about the trap of optimization culture, why I’m choosing resiliency instead, and the uncomfortable reality of putting yourself online before you feel ready.

We're talking:

– blowing my own deadline (lol)

– obsessively checking YouTube stats… and then stopping

– the rule I made about not letting body image stop me from posting

– why the “worst” take ended up being the best one

– what it felt like to see strangers actually connect with my work

– and the very uncomfortable realization that… being myself actually works

Also: a very real update from the trenches of starting a YouTube channel from zero (we hit 24 subscribers 🥲)

This is a real-time documentation of building a creative life and platform from the ground up — no audience, no strategy, just figuring it out as I go. If you’re in the messy middle of starting something, this one’s for you. No hindsight. No polished advice. Just the process.

ily guys.

and BIG shout out to our astronauts!! thank you for inspiring the whole world, welcome home 🩷🌔🌏

What actually happens when you finally go for the thing you’ve been avoiding for years?

This week, everything changed.

I went from “aspiring creative” to actually putting my work out into the world — filming, editing, and publishing my first real video. And… it was not the dreamy, confident glow-up moment I thought it would be.

It was anxiety. Procrastination. A near panic attack while filming.24 hours of editing. Limiting beliefs screaming in my ear.

And then… I hit publish.

In this episode, I’m taking you behind the scenes of what it really looks like to start from zero — including:

• the concept of cringe chasing (and why it works)
• what fear actually feels like in your body when you go for something big
• the unexpected emotional aftermath of taking action
• the mindset shift that’s changing everything for me right now

If you’ve been waiting to start something — this is your sign.

Mentioned in this episode:

– The Diary of a CEO (start around 28:45 for the good part)
https://youtu.be/9uSXOr-AdAU?si=8_BAfT4BgN3W-XZu&t=1726

– Goal-setting + creative career content I’m loving lately (Kelsey Rodriguez)
https://youtu.be/IgxAkeMfMBA?si=SbGqKV5ONgxI9590

I'm coming in hot to give you guys a bonus episode ASAP. So much has changed in just 24hrs after recording that I needed to set up the mic, and sit down (in the middle of the night 😵‍💫) to record a pipping fresh update for you guys.

On this Bonus Episode We're Talking:-talking body-insecurity, body-changes, thoughts on the rise of bone-skinny, the role traditional beauty norms play in success on media, and the real toll of working a really stressful day job

-the trenches of choosing acceptance

-how action & this simple mindset shift is already changing everything for me and my business

-how on earth do you introduce yourself to people when your career status is: I'm planning on being an entrepreneur?? (ugh, cringe!!)

-BLIND-DATE TELL ALL (spoiler alert: it ended in tears)

-some unexpected positive encounters

-how to tell if someone's a fit based on "energetic vibes"

-why you're not actually doing it wrong in business, and the answer is just doing things really diy and imperfectly

-will things feel better once I start taking action?

-what if I'm actually REALLY BAD at going after my dreams? what if I can't do it?

"This podcast is a safe place to hate on your day job, and to [optionally] take a bet on your dreams."

Why is it so scary - and so simple - to start?

I feel alone and I feel powerful in ways I didn't expect.

This is week one, the very beginning.

In this podcast, I'm documenting what it actually looks like to start and build a creative business from zero - in real time. No hindsight, no polished revisions. Just the process, exactly as it happens.

In this episode, I'm talking through where I'm starting, what I'm hoping to build, and the unexpected feelings that come with finally beginning.

I've got big dreams, no following, and hope. There's no certainty this will work, but I know I need to try.

I was looking for something like this - a way to feel a little less alone on the journey. When I couldn't find it, I thought: okay, I guess I'm making it.

So if you're here reading, thank you. Welcome to my online diary.

Not sure where it'll all land. But I'll be here, every week - figuring it out, saying it as it is, and rooting for you. From zero percent, all the way up.