Episode Overview

When a relationship ends, it can feel completely disorientating - like the ground has shifted beneath you and nothing quite makes sense anymore. In this episode, we talk honestly about heartbreak, obsession, rejection, and the deep vulnerability that comes with losing not just a partner, but a version of yourself.

Drawing on our own experiences of breakups across different stages of life, we explore why the pain feels so consuming, how self-worth often gets tangled up in rejection, and why healing doesn’t happen in a straight line. This is a conversation for anyone in the thick of it - or anyone who still carries echoes of past heartbreak.

Key Discussion Points

• The obsession phase: rumination, analysing everything, and chasing connection
• How low self-worth amplifies the pain of rejection
• The three-month mark: noticing when the fog starts to lift
• Why laughing again can feel wrong - and why it’s actually a sign of healing
• The pull to reach out for dopamine and familiarity (even when you know better)
• Why heartbreak isn’t weakness - it’s proof you can love deeply

Listener Takeaways

• Feeling broken after a breakup doesn’t mean you’re weak - it means you cared
• The pain won’t last forever, even if it feels endless right now
• A relationship ending doesn’t take your worth away - it asks you to find it within yourself
• Healing happens quietly, often without you noticing at first
• Awareness, not regret, is what allows real growth
• One day you’ll wake up and realise they weren’t the first thought in your mind — and that’s the beginning of coming back to yourself

Join the Conversation

If you've been through a break up or know someone who has, please feel free to get in touch and let us know your thoughts.

Sanity Checks are now over on Patreon, available for the price of a coffee each month. We’d love to see you there.

Links:

• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer:

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode overview

A line from Jon Bon Jovi that genuinely stopped Aileen in her tracks: “We’re all just here trying to figure it out.” Coming from someone who looks like he’s “made it”, it lands differently - like an equaliser and a hand on your shoulder.

This one is about humility, rebuilding, and the midlife unravel - the kind that can feel frightening… but might actually be the start of coming home to yourself.

Key discussion points

• The line that hit hard: “We’re all just here trying to figure it out” - why it feels more powerful coming from someone we assume has it all sorted.
• Identity vs performance: the idea that what you do isn’t who you are - and why that’s a self-worth conversation, not just a career one.
• Why we all panic when something shifts: kids growing up, relationships changing, careers wobbling, hormones doing their thing — and suddenly asking: If I’m not doing that… who am I?
• Losing your voice as a metaphor: not physically - emotionally. Years of being silenced, managing everyone else’s emotions, walking on eggshells, and having to rebuild your voice “brick by brick”.
• A softer, truer kind of success: chasing dreams from alignment, not pressure - and remembering it’s never “too late” to change direction.

Listener takeaways

• You are not your role. Not your job title. Not your productivity. Not your “usefulness”.
• Losing your voice doesn’t mean you’re lost. It might be the start of finding the real one.
• Humility is strength. Real confidence isn’t loud - it’s honest.
• Dreams don’t expire. There’s always a new phase, and you can still begin again at 40, 50, 60 - but from alignment, not pressure.
• You don’t need a five-year plan to be okay. You don’t need to be polished to be worthy.

Join the conversation

If you’re in a season where things feel uncertain - where you’re rethinking who you are, or what your life is becoming - you’re not alone.

A question to sit with:
When you strip away what you do… what’s still true about who you are?

And if this episode made you exhale a little, share it with someone who might need that same hand-on-the-shoulder feeling.

One more thing, our Sanity Checks are now over on Patreon (for the price of a cup of coffee each month). If you want a little extra support in your ears, come and join us there.

Links:

• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer:

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview
In this episode, we explore a tension many of us feel deeply — the pull between wanting space and craving connection. When does protecting our peace start to feel like shutting people out? And why can setting boundaries trigger so much guilt, fear, or worry about losing belonging?

We reflect on how our early conditioning shapes the way we relate, why many of us learned that belonging meant being agreeable, and how self-worth plays a crucial role in whether boundaries feel safe or threatening. This is a conversation about unlearning, reclaiming energy, and redefining what real belonging actually looks like in this season of life.

Key Discussion Points

• Why the desire to belong is deeply human - even for those who value independence
• How many of us were taught that belonging meant being easy, polite, and agreeable
• The link between self-worth and boundary-setting
• How carrying emotional labour can look like strength but quietly erodes self-worth
• The difference between fitting in and true belonging, inspired by Brené Brown

Listener Takeaways

• Boundaries aren’t rejection - they’re redirection
• Saying no is not unkind; it’s a way of valuing yourself
• Belonging that requires self-abandonment isn’t belonging at all
• When self-worth dips, boundaries often soften — noticing this is powerful
• You don’t need to earn your place; you already belong

Join the Conversation

We love hearing from you. Do you struggle more with setting boundaries, or with the fear of losing belonging when you do?
Leave us a voicemail or send us a DM - your reflections may be shared in a future episode.

And if this conversation resonated, consider sharing it with someone who needs the reminder that protecting their peace doesn’t make them selfish - it makes them grounded.

Sanity Checks are now over on Patreon, available for the price of a coffee each month. We’d love to see you there.

Links:

• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer:

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.