After leaving an abusive relationship, it’s common to find yourself stuck in an exhausting loop of self-doubt. You replay conversations. You question your memory. You wonder if you overreacted—or if maybe it wasn’t that bad.

In this episode, I break down why second-guessing yourself after abuse isn’t a flaw—it’s a survival response. I talk about how abusers train you to distrust your own perceptions and why that confusion lingers even after you leave. I also share practical ways to start rebuilding self-trust, including how to create a reality checklist and a “no-debate list” to help you anchor back into truth when your mind starts to spin.

Support the show

*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

This episode is about why everything feels harder, louder, and more urgent during the holidays when you’re navigating high-conflict divorce or co-parenting with a controlling or volatile person. Why situations that felt barely manageable in October suddenly feel explosive in December. Why your body feels like it’s bracing for impact every single day. And why so many parents reach a breaking point and say, “This can’t wait until January.”

I break down what’s actually happening beneath the surface—how time pressure, court slowdowns, holiday schedules, dysregulated kids, financial stress, and relentless communication collide all at once. How the holidays become a tool for control rather than connection. And why this season so often pushes already-burned-out parents into survival mode.

I am well aware this episode is coming after the Holiday season. I am sorry I could not get it out before!

Support the show

*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

I unpack a viral TikTok that has been shared hundreds of thousands of times—and why its message is far more dangerous than it first appears.

On the surface, the video presents itself as “relationship advice” about how women can keep men happy. In reality, it reinforces coercive control, sexual entitlement, and the idea that women are responsible for regulating men’s emotions, egos, and loyalty—often at the expense of their own boundaries, bodies, and well-being.

I break down:

• How this type of content subtly trains women to doubt themselves
• Why framing women as a man’s “peace” is a red flag, not a virtue
• How sexual coercion gets normalized and disguised as intimacy advice
• The link between these messages and trauma bonding
• Why “respect,” “appreciation,” and “affection” become tools of control in abusive dynamics
• How women are conditioned to abandon themselves to keep relationships stable

This episode is direct, emotional, and unapologetic. It is not about attacking men. It is about naming narratives that groom women to tolerate neglect, emotional abuse, and coercion—while being told they are the problem.

The video: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8y6LN2x/

Support the show

*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner