"You don't look autistic." Four words that might seem like a compliment but can deeply invalidate an autistic person's identity and lived experience.

In this bonus episode, I'm unpacking why these well-meaning comments are actually microaggressions: small, accumulating emotional paper cuts that affect not just autistic individuals, but their partners, families, and friends too.

I'm drawing from 20+ years in the field and my own experience raising an autistic daughter to explain how outdated stereotypes, confirmation bias, and gaps in professional training lead to widespread misdiagnosis and dismissal. I'm also diving into masking—why autistic people learn to mask, and the real cost it carries.

Autism doesn't have a look, but it does deserve to be seen. 💙

➔ Watch this episode on YouTube

➔ Read the blog post: "You Don't Look Autistic": Microaggressions and the Problem with Stereotypes

In Part 2 of Jodi’s conversation with Jana and Matt, they zoom in on what helps neurodiverse couples move from “you’re doing it wrong” to clear, workable requests. They unpack why old scripts keep running even after growth, and how slowing down helps you rewrite the narrative together.

Jana shares two practical accommodations that changed everything: adjusting seasoning so everyone can eat comfortably, and normalizing separate sleep spaces to protect deep rest. Matt explains why requests land differently than criticism—and how problem-solving as a team strengthens connection, trust, and day-to-day ease.

Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/4jRU5eTjBAQ

Join the Neurodiverse Relationship Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/neurodiverserelationships

Hard conversations have a way of showing up late at night—right when one partner wants to talk it through and the other needs space. In Part 1 of my conversation with Jana (an ADHD resilience coach) and her husband, Matt (a neurotypical engineer), we unpack the “thinker/feeler” dynamic, nervous system dysregulation, and the pursuer–retreater cycle that can keep couples stuck.

You’ll hear the practical tools that helped them shift the pattern, including active listening, pausing for your “best self,” and a surprisingly effective strategy: recording tough conversations to spot misunderstandings and reset the narrative.

Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/fqSeYWbrnCc

Join the Neurodiverse Relationship Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/neurodiverserelationships