High achievers often look confident from the outside while quietly running on fear, urgency, and the belief that their worth depends on never slipping up.

Leslie Randolph is joined by Pooja Venkatraman, an executive coach, former management consultant, and self-described recovered stressed-out high achiever, to unpack a pattern many confident teens and confident women recognize but rarely question. Self-confidence becomes conditional. Perform well and it feels intact. Miss the mark and it starts to wobble. Grades, praise, titles, and approval quietly become proof of worth rather than outcomes of effort. Pooja explains why high-achievers often operate in fight-or-flight mode, where overworking, procrastination, freezing, and perfectionism make sense when the brain believes mistakes threaten belonging or value. These beliefs often form early and follow confident teens into adulthood, shaping confident women at work and at home.

The conversation offers a healthier framework for achievement and self-confidence rooted in flow rather than fear. Flow supports focused effort without panic, rest without guilt, and decisions without self-punishment. Instead of chasing confidence through constant performance, listeners are invited to rethink where self-confidence really comes from. What would change if it were a skill you could return to again and again, rather than something you had to earn through relentless achievement?

Episode Breakdown:

00:00 Why High Achievers Struggle With Self-Confidence

08:15 Fight or Flight and the Hidden Cost of Perfectionism

15:10 Flow vs. Fear-Based Achievement

20:42 Why External Validation Never Creates Lasting Confidence

25:21 Mission-Driven Success Without Burnout

32:38 Shifting Out of Fight or Flight as a High Achiever

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