High achievers often look confident from the outside while quietly running on fear, urgency, and the belief that their worth depends on never slipping up.

Leslie Randolph is joined by Pooja Venkatraman, an executive coach, former management consultant, and self-described recovered stressed-out high achiever, to unpack a pattern many confident teens and confident women recognize but rarely question. Self-confidence becomes conditional. Perform well and it feels intact. Miss the mark and it starts to wobble. Grades, praise, titles, and approval quietly become proof of worth rather than outcomes of effort. Pooja explains why high-achievers often operate in fight-or-flight mode, where overworking, procrastination, freezing, and perfectionism make sense when the brain believes mistakes threaten belonging or value. These beliefs often form early and follow confident teens into adulthood, shaping confident women at work and at home.

The conversation offers a healthier framework for achievement and self-confidence rooted in flow rather than fear. Flow supports focused effort without panic, rest without guilt, and decisions without self-punishment. Instead of chasing confidence through constant performance, listeners are invited to rethink where self-confidence really comes from. What would change if it were a skill you could return to again and again, rather than something you had to earn through relentless achievement?

Episode Breakdown:

00:00 Why High Achievers Struggle With Self-Confidence

08:15 Fight or Flight and the Hidden Cost of Perfectionism

15:10 Flow vs. Fear-Based Achievement

20:42 Why External Validation Never Creates Lasting Confidence

25:21 Mission-Driven Success Without Burnout

32:38 Shifting Out of Fight or Flight as a High Achiever

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Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence

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Self-confidence is built in the moments no one applauds, the awkward missteps and quiet choices that shape how girls learn to trust themselves long before anyone is watching.

Leslie Randolph sits down with journalist and author Rin-rin Yu for a grounded conversation about where confidence actually comes from and why the ordinary moments of childhood matter more than the polished highlights. Drawing from Rin-rin’s debut novel Goodbye French Fry, they talk about bullying, belonging, embarrassment, and the internal shift that happens when a girl realizes she can handle hard things. What changes when confidence grows from self-trust instead of approval? How do everyday experiences quietly shape a girl’s sense of who she is?

The conversation also explores identity, representation, and the pressure to fit in during the tween years. Rin-rin reflects on growing up without seeing herself in books and why normal stories deserve just as much space as extraordinary ones. Leslie connects these ideas to her work with teens and parents, offering a clear reminder that confidence is learned through experience, reflection, and support rather than perfection.

This episode invites parents to slow down and notice the small wins that rarely make headlines. What moments are shaping your daughter right now? And how might honoring the ordinary help her build confidence that lasts?

Episode Breakdown:

00:00 Why Self-Confidence Is a Skill Teen Girls Can Learn

03:05 Goodbye French Fry and the Ordinary Moments That Build Self-Confidence

04:39 Why Representation in Books Shapes Identity, Self-Worth, and Belonging

07:56 Bullying and Self-Confidence: Standing Up for Yourself at Age 10

12:35 Embarrassment, Mistakes, and Resilience as Core Confidence Skills

14:54 Cultural Identity and Name Mispronunciation: Helping Kids Feel They Belong

21:55 Journaling and Daily Reflection as a Confidence-Building Practice

30:56 Curiosity vs Mockery: Teaching Kids to Respect Differences

38:49 Perfection Pressure and Self-Forgiveness in a High-Achievement World

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Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence

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Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Self-confidence is not a personality trait you either have or lack but a skill you can choose to build and strengthen starting right now.

This conversation reframes self-confidence as something you practice through daily choices rather than something reserved for confident women or naturally confident teens. Leslie Randolph invites listeners to see confidence as a skill built with intention through how you speak to yourself, how you follow through and how you respond when discomfort shows up. The message is practical and grounded with reassurance that becoming more self-confident is possible at any stage of life.

Listeners are guided to consider what a truly confident year would look like in real terms. What decisions might change if self-confidence led the way? What would you stop tolerating? What would you try if fear did not get the final vote? Leslie breaks confidence into three core foundations: thinking highly of yourself, building self-trust and allowing uncomfortable emotions without letting them control your actions.

This episode speaks directly to moms of teens as well as the teens themselves with a reminder that confidence is learned through modeling and repetition. When adults practice self-confidence out loud young people learn how to do the same. The takeaway is clear and empowering. Self-confidence grows when you keep promises to yourself, trust your inner voice and take action even when doubt is present.

Episode Breakdown:

00:00 What Self-Confidence Really Is and Why It Matters

09:57 The Three Foundations of Self-Confidence

14:51 How to Build Self-Confidence Through Intentional Goals

20:14 Choosing Confidence and Taking Courageous Action

Connect With Leslie:

Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence

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Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm