When Your Nervous System Is Maxed Out: Menopause, Creativity & Letting Others Be Happy
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Some weeks the nervous system runs hot. In this Sunday Shortie of RTDB, I'm talking about windows of tolerance — the space where you can actually feel and function before you tip into overwhelm or shutdown — and what it looks like when menopause keeps shrinking that window without warning.
I also get honest about something quieter: the pull to dim someone else's joy when you're depleted. Not out of meanness — out of exhaustion. And what it takes to let other people be happy without making it mean something about you.
Then there's Yesteryear. I always thought I was writing the character's postpartum depression. Turns out the page was holding a mirror up to my own state of mind in menopause. The writing knew before I did.
In this episode of RTDB:
- What a "window of tolerance" is, in plain language
- Why menopause narrows that window — and how to notice the edges sooner
- The difference between protecting your peace and stealing someone else's
- How my own writing surfaced what I wasn't saying out loud
- A gentler way to move through a depleted week
Key takeaways:
- Your window of tolerance isn't fixed — hormones, sleep, and stress move the walls
- Feeling depleted doesn't make you a bad person; it makes you human
- Someone else's joy is not a withdrawal from your account
- The creative work you make often reflects you before you're ready to look
- You don't have to fix the whole feeling — you can just name where you are
- What is a window of tolerance? The range where your nervous system can handle stress and emotion without tipping into overwhelm (hyperarousal) or shutdown (hypoarousal).
- How does menopause affect emotional regulation? Hormonal shifts can narrow that window, making it easier to feel flooded or flat with less provocation than before.
- What does "stealing someone's joy" mean? Diminishing another person's happiness — often unconsciously, when you're depleted — instead of letting their good moment exist on its own.
Learn more about The Thrive Collective at thrivewithchristy.com