Colleen Clifford spent decades fishing in Alaska, working long shifts on factory trawlers and living a life most people only see in documentaries. But beneath the rugged adventure was a wound she carried from age nineteen — a moment of shame that quietly shaped the next forty years of her life. Binge drinking became the way she buried that wound, a pattern that looked manageable from the outside but was slowly eroding her identity, her relationships, and her hope.

In this episode, Colleen traces her drinking back to the moment that changed everything, the diagnosis that created a false identity, and the years she spent trying to outrun the truth. She shares how her husband's alcohol‑related suicide forced her to confront her own story, how faith and prayer carried her through grief, and how writing her book, Life Beyond the Binge, helped her uncover the deeper narrative beneath her behavior.

This conversation is about courage — the courage to stop running, to name the wound, and to rebuild a life with honesty and purpose. It's a reminder that the real battle is often the one happening beneath the surface, and healing begins when we finally tell the truth.

What We Cover in This Episode

• How one shame-filled moment at nineteen created a false identity that shaped Colleen's life for decades

• How writing helped her uncover the deeper story beneath 40 years of binge drinking

• How grief, her husband's alcohol-related suicide, and faith shaped her healing journey

• How destructive behavior often grows out of believing a lie about who we are

• How honesty, coaching, and courage helped Colleen break free from shame and rebuild her life

Key Takeaway

Colleen's story reminds us that shame can quietly shape a life — but naming it can give that life back. Her journey encourages us to look beneath our coping habits, tell the truth about where the story began, and trust that God can rebuild what shame tried to steal.

Resources

• Colleen's Book: Life Beyond The Binge: A Commercial Fisherwoman's Journey Home
• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline - available 24/7/365. Your conversations are free and confidential
• Veterans and service members can access the Veterans Crisis Line by dialing 988 and pressing 1.

Join the Journey

If you know someone who's carrying a hidden story or struggling with destructive habits, please share this episode with them. It might be exactly what they need to hear.

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Chapters

00:00 — The Story Beneath the Drinking

04:05 — Naming the False Identity

06:10 — Writing Through Grief

09:17 — When the Book Turned Back on Her

10:01 — The Moment That Built the Shame

11:55 — Growing Up Catholic in Seattle

15:33 — How Binge Drinking Took Hold

18:30 — Why the Shame Stayed Hidden

20:14 — Testing Death on the Skykomish

23:41 — The Diagnosis That Changed Everything

30:34 — Freedom Through Honesty

31:31 — When Identity Turns Into a Lie

34:05 — Running to Alaska

38:28 — Life and Work on the Factory Trawlers

48:24 — The "95/5" Drinking Pattern

50:35 — Losing Her Husband and Carryi